Tuesday, October 26, 2010
They Just Don't Know it's Not a Choice
My clock reads 12:30 AM... I took a nap around 8 PM last night and apparently that turned into a 5 hour deep sleep. I would've just stayed in bed but besides the burning sensation in my stomach, I forgot to shower. But everyone's asleep so I'm gonna wait until 3 AM to do it.... MWUHAHAHAH! >:D
Nick's hugs just mean that much more to me after homecoming last Friday. I never want to let go anymore. But then again it's not the most comfortable thing to do in front of people anyway.
Did I mention I'm sick? Yeah, I'm STILL sick. But I refuse to stay home form school since I always miss something important, schoolwork is too hard to make up at this school, and I'd miss Nick way too much. Then again what's the point of going if you're gonna spend the whole day asleep?
I spent most of Algebra with my head in my arms, then was practically curled up in a ball during Gym. The teacher came up to me and asked if I was alright. I told her about my cold and she told me to go to the nurse. But I honestly didn't feel like going since I'd probably just end up getting a pack of crackers and a cough drop. So I just put on my headphones until I felt a lot of thumping around me signaling for the end of class.
I was more awake in History today. Only thing was there was a sub and my energy went into chatting with Rita and Joaquin. I was constantly turned around by the sub and told to do my work but I didn't even have a clue what to do so I just waited until he was gone. Didn't get anything done, but on the bright side I might be able to go to a party after work on Friday ^_^
At lunch I decided to play cute with Nick and tickle his thigh from under the table. He kept slapping me away, egging on that whole "not yet" scene he does which I can tell is total bullshit. He wants it badly but is too scared to "go too fast". Well to me he's going a bit slow... Sorry I'm just still trying to get that kiss.
Which even Jen agrees he should do by now, and she was the one who told him not to rush things. She said that she was gonna tell him to just do it but I told her it would kind of ruin any romance in it.
And fuck me sideways with a screwdriver! Apparently Amy isn't driving me and Kav home from school until tomorrow. So I missed the bus. I called mum but she said she was coming up to the high school to watch Amy's soccer game. When she said that I just took my phone and chucked it across the parking lot... Probably should have hung up first.
After scouring through grass looking for the pieces of my phone, which luckily could be put back together, I headed inside the building to use the computers. Suddenly I was stopped by this tall, built kid with bleached hair who was reading a magazine in the corner of the library.
"Hey, kid," he said. I immediately recognized his face from homecoming. I remembered his look of surprise when he saw me and Nick hanging on to each other and laughed on the inside.
"Hey... Are you gay?" Just gonna jump right into it, huh? Alright, let's go.
I made a little gesture that told him that I knew that he already knew the answer. "Yeah."
"And so is that other kid, uh... Your boyfriend, um what's his name?"
"Errr, not sure if I should tell you."
He waved me closer to him. "Sit down, talk to me."
Now, I normally love to hear what straight people have to say on the subject of gays and lesbians, but this kid had that obvious douchebag essence to him so I didn't really feel on-easy about him.
"It's Nick, right?"
Oh well, you already got it. "Yeah."
"So... I just don't get it? You mean you don't like girls at all?"
"Nope?"
"You don't like their asses?" Oh, real nice there, buddy...
"Nope."
"But you like guys' asses, right?"
"Well, depends on the ass."
"Well, hey, if you like taking dick up the butt that's your thing."
"And if you like sticking your in that gross, disgusting flap between a woman's legs that's your bit."
I glared at him and he just sat there looking at me like I just killed someone. After letting it sink in I got up and left for somewhere. I walked in circles for a while before I sat myself in the main hallway and started typing away on my phone. After about ten minutes or so blondie somehow appeared beside me.
"You know I could change you, and your boyfriend."
"No you can't."
"I could hook you up with a really hot girl."
"You don't get it, do you? I was born this way and it's not something you can change."
"It's not?" Seriously, is every straight guy like this?
"No. I was born liking guys that same way you were born liking girls."
"Oh... You don't say much. Is it because I'm not gay?"
"No it's because you're a dick."
"I'm a dick?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I'm not gay or nothing so..."
At this point I just sort of drowned him out since he was talking out his ass. But honestly, how come every straight guy who thinks gay people are some sort of freaks just really doesn't know that they can't change even if they wanted to? I need to remember that...
Well I have to get back to sleep now.
Live.
Nick's hugs just mean that much more to me after homecoming last Friday. I never want to let go anymore. But then again it's not the most comfortable thing to do in front of people anyway.
Did I mention I'm sick? Yeah, I'm STILL sick. But I refuse to stay home form school since I always miss something important, schoolwork is too hard to make up at this school, and I'd miss Nick way too much. Then again what's the point of going if you're gonna spend the whole day asleep?
I spent most of Algebra with my head in my arms, then was practically curled up in a ball during Gym. The teacher came up to me and asked if I was alright. I told her about my cold and she told me to go to the nurse. But I honestly didn't feel like going since I'd probably just end up getting a pack of crackers and a cough drop. So I just put on my headphones until I felt a lot of thumping around me signaling for the end of class.
I was more awake in History today. Only thing was there was a sub and my energy went into chatting with Rita and Joaquin. I was constantly turned around by the sub and told to do my work but I didn't even have a clue what to do so I just waited until he was gone. Didn't get anything done, but on the bright side I might be able to go to a party after work on Friday ^_^
At lunch I decided to play cute with Nick and tickle his thigh from under the table. He kept slapping me away, egging on that whole "not yet" scene he does which I can tell is total bullshit. He wants it badly but is too scared to "go too fast". Well to me he's going a bit slow... Sorry I'm just still trying to get that kiss.
Which even Jen agrees he should do by now, and she was the one who told him not to rush things. She said that she was gonna tell him to just do it but I told her it would kind of ruin any romance in it.
And fuck me sideways with a screwdriver! Apparently Amy isn't driving me and Kav home from school until tomorrow. So I missed the bus. I called mum but she said she was coming up to the high school to watch Amy's soccer game. When she said that I just took my phone and chucked it across the parking lot... Probably should have hung up first.
After scouring through grass looking for the pieces of my phone, which luckily could be put back together, I headed inside the building to use the computers. Suddenly I was stopped by this tall, built kid with bleached hair who was reading a magazine in the corner of the library.
"Hey, kid," he said. I immediately recognized his face from homecoming. I remembered his look of surprise when he saw me and Nick hanging on to each other and laughed on the inside.
"Hey... Are you gay?" Just gonna jump right into it, huh? Alright, let's go.
I made a little gesture that told him that I knew that he already knew the answer. "Yeah."
"And so is that other kid, uh... Your boyfriend, um what's his name?"
"Errr, not sure if I should tell you."
He waved me closer to him. "Sit down, talk to me."
Now, I normally love to hear what straight people have to say on the subject of gays and lesbians, but this kid had that obvious douchebag essence to him so I didn't really feel on-easy about him.
"It's Nick, right?"
Oh well, you already got it. "Yeah."
"So... I just don't get it? You mean you don't like girls at all?"
"Nope?"
"You don't like their asses?" Oh, real nice there, buddy...
"Nope."
"But you like guys' asses, right?"
"Well, depends on the ass."
"Well, hey, if you like taking dick up the butt that's your thing."
"And if you like sticking your in that gross, disgusting flap between a woman's legs that's your bit."
I glared at him and he just sat there looking at me like I just killed someone. After letting it sink in I got up and left for somewhere. I walked in circles for a while before I sat myself in the main hallway and started typing away on my phone. After about ten minutes or so blondie somehow appeared beside me.
"You know I could change you, and your boyfriend."
"No you can't."
"I could hook you up with a really hot girl."
"You don't get it, do you? I was born this way and it's not something you can change."
"It's not?" Seriously, is every straight guy like this?
"No. I was born liking guys that same way you were born liking girls."
"Oh... You don't say much. Is it because I'm not gay?"
"No it's because you're a dick."
"I'm a dick?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I'm not gay or nothing so..."
At this point I just sort of drowned him out since he was talking out his ass. But honestly, how come every straight guy who thinks gay people are some sort of freaks just really doesn't know that they can't change even if they wanted to? I need to remember that...
Well I have to get back to sleep now.
Live.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
By Nick's Side the Whole Night
16 year old boy was browsing Netflix with his dad, trying to find a film for movie night. When he logged onto Netflix, though, there was a pop-up asking him to rate the highly vulgar porn movie from the night before. He just sits there, waiting for his dad to explode on him for watching the adult flick. But after a while, all the father does is say:
"Well? Are you gonna rate it?"
Friday morning, and I'm greeted by a metal rose and a flawless heard carved from wood. Nick made these for me while in the trades hall during Carpentry and Welding. I flipped over the heart where our names were written together. That earned him a big hug from me.
Here's the thing about me and my emotions. When someone makes me feel incredibly special, I bite my lower lip. It rarely ever happens, yet Nick is able to do it constantly.
After school, Nick met me coming out of automotive and I walked with him to his bus. Honestly, I have a new appreciation for my bus. Apparently Nick's bus has hardly any people on it, yet he has to ride for an hour before he gets home, and has to walk a pretty long way up and downhill to reach his house. But hey, Jen and Lindsay ride the same bus so I was greeted with hugs when I got on.
Suddenly, when I got off the bus with Nick, I felt a new appreciation for the world. I must have looked like an idiot to Nick, but to see that many trees at a time was amazing to me. Maybe it was just because it was Autumn and the leaves were changing but it was the most beautiful neighborhood I had ever seen. Wide, clean streets; perfectly paved, uncracked sidewalks; small, cozy houses; and a cool wind all around us. I decided right then and there that this was the kind of place I would want to spend my life.
"This place must be great on Halloween," I told Nick.
"Oh you wouldn't believe it," he said back.
And out of all the tiny, poor houses that sat in that small forest of a neighborhood, Nick's house was a fine, tall, perfectly neat house with a large, open lawn and a built-in garage.
"This one's yours?" I asked in amazement.
"My dad's a carpenter," he said.
I never really thought about those kind of benefits when it came to being a carpenter. When we walked into the house we were first greeted by a tall, black dog who instantly caught sight of the stranger entering her home...
Oh shit... I'm terrified of dogs. I never even thought that he might have a pet. He never mentioned it either. I didn't want to freak out in front of Nick or leave a bad impression on his family who was in the next room. So I played it cool. She approached me and began sniffing my crotch. I tried not to look down but couldn't help but glance a couple times. I wanted to seem like I wasn't even acknowledging its existence.
"She won't bother you," Nick's mother said as she walked into the kitchen and looked at me. "Though if you pat her head she won't leave you alone." Note to self: don't touch it.
"Mom, this is Christian," Nick said. His mom held out her hand.
"Hello, Christian." I reached out and shook her hand firmly.
"Nice to meet you, Mrs. ****." (Last name is censored of course.)
Nick told me a bit about his mom on the ride to his place. She is one of those incredibly strict, stick-up-the-ass, devout catholic ladies. I guess I did get the essence of bitter from her. But I tried to be as polite as I could to be at good terms. Nick warned me not to say anything about us being together and all, and that we were just friends. Kind of like my mom before she found out.
We talked a bit while Nick made a cup of hot chocolate in a fancy looking Kureg coffee maker. He asked me if I wanted any but I declined, grabbing a water bottle out of the fridge. I stopped at the large view from the kitchen window.
"You have a lake," I said.
"Well, technically it isn't our lake."
"Then make it yours," I joked. We both chuckled.
The view was absolutely perfect. There were a couple trees just there enough to be present and noted in your view, but not enough to overpower the sight of the large lake with a small island with a fallen tree in the center-left of it. I would have stayed for hours but we were going to meet the family.
We walked into the living room where we saw Nick's dad and older brother. Nick's dad is one of those totally laid back kind of guys. That thought was immediately confirmed by his lazy casual outfit and the fact that he greeted me with a "What's up?" rather than a hello.
Nick's brother is, from what I was told, a complete douche. The kind of kid who will try and find something to annoy you, and continuously use it until he gets bored. When I got a good look at him he was tall, had curly blondish-brown hair, and was dressed in a Red Sox jogging suit and baseball cap. He didn't even say one word to me. I guess my look was more intimidating than his; my usual all dark outfit and long straightened hair held back by my onyx black snow hat.
We made our way upstairs and made a left into the den. in the corner was a 44 inch widescreen television. Across from it was a right-angle sofa with a chaise at one end. We sat down and Nick flicked on his Xbox 360. We were going to play but his system seemed to be utter shit and wouldn't read the disc. So we spent a half hour trying to make it work. At one point I blew into the disc tray like an old Super Nintendo.
"You have fun blowing your video game," Nick said to me.
I stopped and looked up at him immediately. "Never mind."
We gave up and headed into his room. I looked around and the first thing I noticed was a gigantic PFLAG with the word "peace" hanging over his bed.
"Oh my," I said with a smile.
"Yep," Nick said proudly.
I felt like we were in some sort of sitcom where I was the boyfriend who casually sat on the bed while Nick was my lively, high-maintenance girlfriend who couldn't decide what to wear tonight. He dug through his dresser, asking me which shirt I thought would look better on him, to which I redundantly said "You look fine in anything." The thing was, all his jeans were the exact same thing, and he expected me to notice the difference.
Nick lifted his shirt to put on deodorant and didn't mind me admiring his cute, fragile body. I noticed he crossed his chest and abdomen with the stick and I questioned him.
"It's so when someone leans up against me I smell nice to them," he responded.
"Hm, interesting." I walked over to him and leaned up against him. I agreed that he did smell quite nice, but didn't back away for a few more seconds to let him know I didn't just get close to him to smell.
We were able to get a little while of game time before it was time to drive to the homecoming dance.
When we got there we were greeted by Anarchy Ian and his girlfriend Amber. We had small conversations which I won't go into detail of because they're kind of foggy and awfully inappropriate, too. but when was I afraid to be inappropriate?
When we entered the gym, Nick was looking around for some people who said they wanted to meet up with him while he was here. Most importantly, his friend Mina. Small world, the same Mina who got Misha all paranoid about Griffin's little thirty-something girlfriends.
The first person who greeted us, however, was Jen. "Hello dears!" She shouted in her odd, high class sort of tone even though she was far from high class. But I love the way she talks. I joked about her heeled boots and said:
"My my, you've grown about... *look down* 3 inches!" She laughed and went off to say her hellos to her other friends. There was an occasional burst of balloons in the room since some assholes can't resist annoying those with friends.
Nick doesn't like dancing. He didn't feel comfortable being in the middle of the crowd with a bunch of other people around him and bumping into him. I could really blame him. It looked like a gauntlet to be honest.
About halfway through the dance, me and Nick just went everywhere with each other, and didn't even let go. He wrapped both his arms around my shoulders and I held my right arm around his waist. He often rested his head on my shoulder and I leaned my head on his.
We were constantly told that we were "so adorable together!", and "so sweet with each other!". Couldn't blame them ^_^. Again, things like that made me bite my lower lip. Nick decided to call me his 'muffin'. I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but agree on the little name. I ought to make on for him.
Then there was the last song of the dance. It was the only slow song of the night. I groaned that it was Don't Stop Believin' by Journey but Nick made it worthwhile. We held each other in a close hug and slowly stepped back and forth. It was hands-down the best part of the night, over all the hilarious, fun, and cute moments of the night.
Suddenly the light flashed on, followed by an irritated commotion from the crowd. I looked at my phone and there was a message from mum that she was waiting for me in the parking lot. Nick walked out with me the same way as described before. We passed Frankie on our way out.
"Aww, that's cute," he mocked. We both responded with "polite" hand gestures.
When we were parting ways outside, I decided to go for it. I leaned in close for a kiss but he stopped me right as I was about to get him. "Nice try," he said with a cute smile.
And so I went home confused, yet completely satisfied and incredibly happy for one of the best nights I ever had. Later while on the couch at home I picked up my phone and found one unread message:
I guess I could understand that. I just have to get him alone now ;)
...
"Well? Are you gonna rate it?"
Friday morning, and I'm greeted by a metal rose and a flawless heard carved from wood. Nick made these for me while in the trades hall during Carpentry and Welding. I flipped over the heart where our names were written together. That earned him a big hug from me.
Here's the thing about me and my emotions. When someone makes me feel incredibly special, I bite my lower lip. It rarely ever happens, yet Nick is able to do it constantly.
After school, Nick met me coming out of automotive and I walked with him to his bus. Honestly, I have a new appreciation for my bus. Apparently Nick's bus has hardly any people on it, yet he has to ride for an hour before he gets home, and has to walk a pretty long way up and downhill to reach his house. But hey, Jen and Lindsay ride the same bus so I was greeted with hugs when I got on.
Suddenly, when I got off the bus with Nick, I felt a new appreciation for the world. I must have looked like an idiot to Nick, but to see that many trees at a time was amazing to me. Maybe it was just because it was Autumn and the leaves were changing but it was the most beautiful neighborhood I had ever seen. Wide, clean streets; perfectly paved, uncracked sidewalks; small, cozy houses; and a cool wind all around us. I decided right then and there that this was the kind of place I would want to spend my life.
"This place must be great on Halloween," I told Nick.
"Oh you wouldn't believe it," he said back.
And out of all the tiny, poor houses that sat in that small forest of a neighborhood, Nick's house was a fine, tall, perfectly neat house with a large, open lawn and a built-in garage.
"This one's yours?" I asked in amazement.
"My dad's a carpenter," he said.
I never really thought about those kind of benefits when it came to being a carpenter. When we walked into the house we were first greeted by a tall, black dog who instantly caught sight of the stranger entering her home...
Oh shit... I'm terrified of dogs. I never even thought that he might have a pet. He never mentioned it either. I didn't want to freak out in front of Nick or leave a bad impression on his family who was in the next room. So I played it cool. She approached me and began sniffing my crotch. I tried not to look down but couldn't help but glance a couple times. I wanted to seem like I wasn't even acknowledging its existence.
"She won't bother you," Nick's mother said as she walked into the kitchen and looked at me. "Though if you pat her head she won't leave you alone." Note to self: don't touch it.
"Mom, this is Christian," Nick said. His mom held out her hand.
"Hello, Christian." I reached out and shook her hand firmly.
"Nice to meet you, Mrs. ****." (Last name is censored of course.)
Nick told me a bit about his mom on the ride to his place. She is one of those incredibly strict, stick-up-the-ass, devout catholic ladies. I guess I did get the essence of bitter from her. But I tried to be as polite as I could to be at good terms. Nick warned me not to say anything about us being together and all, and that we were just friends. Kind of like my mom before she found out.
We talked a bit while Nick made a cup of hot chocolate in a fancy looking Kureg coffee maker. He asked me if I wanted any but I declined, grabbing a water bottle out of the fridge. I stopped at the large view from the kitchen window.
"You have a lake," I said.
"Well, technically it isn't our lake."
"Then make it yours," I joked. We both chuckled.
The view was absolutely perfect. There were a couple trees just there enough to be present and noted in your view, but not enough to overpower the sight of the large lake with a small island with a fallen tree in the center-left of it. I would have stayed for hours but we were going to meet the family.
We walked into the living room where we saw Nick's dad and older brother. Nick's dad is one of those totally laid back kind of guys. That thought was immediately confirmed by his lazy casual outfit and the fact that he greeted me with a "What's up?" rather than a hello.
Nick's brother is, from what I was told, a complete douche. The kind of kid who will try and find something to annoy you, and continuously use it until he gets bored. When I got a good look at him he was tall, had curly blondish-brown hair, and was dressed in a Red Sox jogging suit and baseball cap. He didn't even say one word to me. I guess my look was more intimidating than his; my usual all dark outfit and long straightened hair held back by my onyx black snow hat.
We made our way upstairs and made a left into the den. in the corner was a 44 inch widescreen television. Across from it was a right-angle sofa with a chaise at one end. We sat down and Nick flicked on his Xbox 360. We were going to play but his system seemed to be utter shit and wouldn't read the disc. So we spent a half hour trying to make it work. At one point I blew into the disc tray like an old Super Nintendo.
"You have fun blowing your video game," Nick said to me.
I stopped and looked up at him immediately. "Never mind."
We gave up and headed into his room. I looked around and the first thing I noticed was a gigantic PFLAG with the word "peace" hanging over his bed.
"Oh my," I said with a smile.
"Yep," Nick said proudly.
I felt like we were in some sort of sitcom where I was the boyfriend who casually sat on the bed while Nick was my lively, high-maintenance girlfriend who couldn't decide what to wear tonight. He dug through his dresser, asking me which shirt I thought would look better on him, to which I redundantly said "You look fine in anything." The thing was, all his jeans were the exact same thing, and he expected me to notice the difference.
Nick lifted his shirt to put on deodorant and didn't mind me admiring his cute, fragile body. I noticed he crossed his chest and abdomen with the stick and I questioned him.
"It's so when someone leans up against me I smell nice to them," he responded.
"Hm, interesting." I walked over to him and leaned up against him. I agreed that he did smell quite nice, but didn't back away for a few more seconds to let him know I didn't just get close to him to smell.
We were able to get a little while of game time before it was time to drive to the homecoming dance.
When we got there we were greeted by Anarchy Ian and his girlfriend Amber. We had small conversations which I won't go into detail of because they're kind of foggy and awfully inappropriate, too. but when was I afraid to be inappropriate?
When we entered the gym, Nick was looking around for some people who said they wanted to meet up with him while he was here. Most importantly, his friend Mina. Small world, the same Mina who got Misha all paranoid about Griffin's little thirty-something girlfriends.
The first person who greeted us, however, was Jen. "Hello dears!" She shouted in her odd, high class sort of tone even though she was far from high class. But I love the way she talks. I joked about her heeled boots and said:
"My my, you've grown about... *look down* 3 inches!" She laughed and went off to say her hellos to her other friends. There was an occasional burst of balloons in the room since some assholes can't resist annoying those with friends.
Nick doesn't like dancing. He didn't feel comfortable being in the middle of the crowd with a bunch of other people around him and bumping into him. I could really blame him. It looked like a gauntlet to be honest.
About halfway through the dance, me and Nick just went everywhere with each other, and didn't even let go. He wrapped both his arms around my shoulders and I held my right arm around his waist. He often rested his head on my shoulder and I leaned my head on his.
We were constantly told that we were "so adorable together!", and "so sweet with each other!". Couldn't blame them ^_^. Again, things like that made me bite my lower lip. Nick decided to call me his 'muffin'. I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but agree on the little name. I ought to make on for him.
Then there was the last song of the dance. It was the only slow song of the night. I groaned that it was Don't Stop Believin' by Journey but Nick made it worthwhile. We held each other in a close hug and slowly stepped back and forth. It was hands-down the best part of the night, over all the hilarious, fun, and cute moments of the night.
Suddenly the light flashed on, followed by an irritated commotion from the crowd. I looked at my phone and there was a message from mum that she was waiting for me in the parking lot. Nick walked out with me the same way as described before. We passed Frankie on our way out.
"Aww, that's cute," he mocked. We both responded with "polite" hand gestures.
When we were parting ways outside, I decided to go for it. I leaned in close for a kiss but he stopped me right as I was about to get him. "Nice try," he said with a cute smile.
And so I went home confused, yet completely satisfied and incredibly happy for one of the best nights I ever had. Later while on the couch at home I picked up my phone and found one unread message:
From: Nick - 10/22/10 10:23 PM
I would of kissed you but I didn't want all the people looking at us
Me - 10/22/10 10:39 PM
Oh ^_^ okay <3
I guess I could understand that. I just have to get him alone now ;)
...
From: Nick - 10/22/10 10:41 PM
I love you sooo much
Me - 10/22/10 10:42 PM
I love you too <3
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Drowning in NyQuil
Dammit! I forgot to blacklist my younger cousin on Facebook when I changed my status. He sent me a message asking if I was really gay. Lucky for me he's gullible and I was able to lie and say it was just a joke. I worry I might have other family who I don't blacklist.
I'm getting sick. Yesterday I had a soar throat and now today it feels like a full-on cold. Cough, runs, the usual. What a perfect time with homecoming tomorrow.
But there's no way I'm missing it. Nick would be miserable to be there without me. Not to mention the great deal of other people who want me to be there.
So I have to cut this post short while I drown myself in NyQuil. It's late and I need sleep to be fine and awake for tomorrow. Trust me, it'll be worth more than two posts. Probably won't be able to write it until Saturday.
Live ;)
I'm getting sick. Yesterday I had a soar throat and now today it feels like a full-on cold. Cough, runs, the usual. What a perfect time with homecoming tomorrow.
But there's no way I'm missing it. Nick would be miserable to be there without me. Not to mention the great deal of other people who want me to be there.
So I have to cut this post short while I drown myself in NyQuil. It's late and I need sleep to be fine and awake for tomorrow. Trust me, it'll be worth more than two posts. Probably won't be able to write it until Saturday.
Live ;)
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Why Am I Not Happy?
Happy purple day everyone! Even though it's not a celebration... But we can't mope about 9 poor teenage boys who tragically cut their lives short to escape their pain. It should be more of a motivation to protect those who need it, and to keep an eye and an ear out for those who might.
My scarf was deemed "fabulous" today, and I agree it was surely fabulous indeed ^_^
Nick didn't seem to have anything totally purple, so he tried his best by wearing a black tee and dark jeans which both had fun purple designs and words on them. Though he kept going by breaking out the purple Sharpie pen and coloring his shoes and writing things like "Gay People Rock!" and other pro-LGBT writings on people's arms.
Rita sported a pair of light purple jeans in showing her support, also getting drawn on by Nick.
Anita said that she had a lucky break last night. She was searching for something purple to wear but couldn't find anything. Then all of a sudden a large bag of hand-me-down clothes was sent to her house, which included a pair of purple pants, purple tee, and a small purple jacket, all of which she wore today.
Even Pedro showed his support. When looking at him from behind you could see a purple cloth, which he said was a shirt, hanging out of his back pocket.
And when I scanned the cafeteria in the morning, I noticed an increase in purple among various other students. It brought a smile to my face to know that there were other proud supporters who remembered.
Child care. Didn't seem so bad when I was heading to class. But when it was announced that we were going to read to a group of 3-5 year olds, I suddenly became nervous. I feared they might think I was a psychotic killer with my dark appearance and my hat which can be mistaken for a drug dealer's...
But as children, naive and open minded as they are, thought of me as just another older kid. Misha has a natural connection with children. She read with a cheery tone and a lot of emotion. I felt as if her voice made these children more optimistic and confident just by giving them the feeling that she cared about them, even if she had only seen them for 10 minutes.
I realized while I was reading that I can't force myself to act like Misha; so happy and nice. I tried to put as much emotion as I could into my words and I probably gave enough to keep the kids' attention, but I just wasn't able to fill these kids with the joy I wanted them to feel before they started to grow up some years from now. They were the nicest kids, respectful toward each other, not judgmental, totally carefree.
And one thing I noted made me think... While Chris was reading a story I noticed two boys chatting and giggling amongst each other. And then one of the boys leaned over and kissed the other boy on his head. Of course it wasn't anything personal, but that's just it. It's because these kids don't know the reasons why people kiss besides the fact that it's for people who care about each other. And I'm sure that when they do learn the difference between kissing boys and kissing girls, they won't be like they are now: natural.
It's because we raise kids to be like everyone else and fill their heads with nonsense about social rules and taboos and shit. If we just left kids alone, there would never be any arguments over what religion you are, or what your race is, or who you love. We'll just all be people. I'm sure that whatever God religious people worship would want us to just be humans. That's why kids make people happy. It's because they truly ARE happy, which I guess rubs off.
At the end of our story time the kids went around in a circle saying which book they liked best. Most of the kids loved Misha's story for obvious reasons, and a few liked Anita's story since it was a very silly book which had the kids giggling constantly. I guess I was fairly intimidating because when a boy said that he liked my story the best, he just pointed to me while hiding his face behind his friend next to him. That or the teachers were right when they said some of the kids might be shy. And there were a few other who picked mine as well so I guess I didn't do bad after all.
And for some reason I didn't want to leave those kids...
We spent the rest of the day playing some of the games the children did. We even went outside which is where I gained a bit of adrenaline. We played little modified versions of Octopus Tag. And Chris was constantly constantly CONSTANTLY singing Lady GaGa while we played. I kept telling him to turn it off but he kept on going. singing in his tone-deaf voice, having little spaz attacks on the ground supposedly called "dancing", and repeating lyrics and prancing around me and getting in my face. I tried putting him in his place but that only provoked him to get physical.
Chris chased me and grabbed me from behind and I guess tried to throw me to the ground, but obviously didn't know what he was doing. So I kept pushing buttons:
"Oh god! Get it off me! Oh why did I not buy that rape whistle when I had the chance!"
Soon he was practically flailing me back and forth like some rag doll.
"Don't let him eat me! Somebody help!"
He finally got me on the ground and I curled up in a fetal position acting like I was just traumatized. When I got up Pedro was walking after Chris to scare the living hell out of him to the point where Chris surrendered by curling up on the ground. Misha ran over to make sure I wasn't sexually abused or something. I love you too Misha ^_^
Towards the end of class most of my nerves broke and I took shots at Chris every chance I got. But he just wouldn't let up on my temper. While he was all up in my face after I made a smart remark toward him, the teacher finally stepped in and tried to settle our dispute.
She told us we were both being a disruption and need to just drop the situation. I only wish... And even if he hate each other we need to at least respect one another. When she was finished she had us shake hands... But I didn't.
"Chris is being the better man right now Christian," the teacher said. "He's at least trying to apologize."
"That's because he has to!" I retaliated. "But I only apologize when I'm sorry."
She pulled me aside and told me I needed to calm down and just take a deep breath. Pedro even came up and tried to clam me down, too, giving me a bro hug which I weakly returned. We never shook hands, and I'm glad the teacher realized that instead of trying to push me.
And from that moment on I just felt like absolute shit the whole ride home. I was barely responsive when mum asked me about my day but I admitted to her I just didn't feel good enough to talk.
Things seemed to cheer up when Nick gave me a phone call. And good news! He's able to go to Homecoming on Friday. Jen said she might be able to give us a ride as well. Even mum agreed to let me as long as she knows where Nick and Jen live.
The plan is going to be me going home with Nick after school and have Jen pick us up at his house when it's time to leave for the dance. So the clouds on my day are fading thankfully. And now I have something to look forward to this week!
Live.
My scarf was deemed "fabulous" today, and I agree it was surely fabulous indeed ^_^
Nick didn't seem to have anything totally purple, so he tried his best by wearing a black tee and dark jeans which both had fun purple designs and words on them. Though he kept going by breaking out the purple Sharpie pen and coloring his shoes and writing things like "Gay People Rock!" and other pro-LGBT writings on people's arms.
Rita sported a pair of light purple jeans in showing her support, also getting drawn on by Nick.
Anita said that she had a lucky break last night. She was searching for something purple to wear but couldn't find anything. Then all of a sudden a large bag of hand-me-down clothes was sent to her house, which included a pair of purple pants, purple tee, and a small purple jacket, all of which she wore today.
Even Pedro showed his support. When looking at him from behind you could see a purple cloth, which he said was a shirt, hanging out of his back pocket.
And when I scanned the cafeteria in the morning, I noticed an increase in purple among various other students. It brought a smile to my face to know that there were other proud supporters who remembered.
Child care. Didn't seem so bad when I was heading to class. But when it was announced that we were going to read to a group of 3-5 year olds, I suddenly became nervous. I feared they might think I was a psychotic killer with my dark appearance and my hat which can be mistaken for a drug dealer's...
But as children, naive and open minded as they are, thought of me as just another older kid. Misha has a natural connection with children. She read with a cheery tone and a lot of emotion. I felt as if her voice made these children more optimistic and confident just by giving them the feeling that she cared about them, even if she had only seen them for 10 minutes.
I realized while I was reading that I can't force myself to act like Misha; so happy and nice. I tried to put as much emotion as I could into my words and I probably gave enough to keep the kids' attention, but I just wasn't able to fill these kids with the joy I wanted them to feel before they started to grow up some years from now. They were the nicest kids, respectful toward each other, not judgmental, totally carefree.
And one thing I noted made me think... While Chris was reading a story I noticed two boys chatting and giggling amongst each other. And then one of the boys leaned over and kissed the other boy on his head. Of course it wasn't anything personal, but that's just it. It's because these kids don't know the reasons why people kiss besides the fact that it's for people who care about each other. And I'm sure that when they do learn the difference between kissing boys and kissing girls, they won't be like they are now: natural.
It's because we raise kids to be like everyone else and fill their heads with nonsense about social rules and taboos and shit. If we just left kids alone, there would never be any arguments over what religion you are, or what your race is, or who you love. We'll just all be people. I'm sure that whatever God religious people worship would want us to just be humans. That's why kids make people happy. It's because they truly ARE happy, which I guess rubs off.
At the end of our story time the kids went around in a circle saying which book they liked best. Most of the kids loved Misha's story for obvious reasons, and a few liked Anita's story since it was a very silly book which had the kids giggling constantly. I guess I was fairly intimidating because when a boy said that he liked my story the best, he just pointed to me while hiding his face behind his friend next to him. That or the teachers were right when they said some of the kids might be shy. And there were a few other who picked mine as well so I guess I didn't do bad after all.
And for some reason I didn't want to leave those kids...
We spent the rest of the day playing some of the games the children did. We even went outside which is where I gained a bit of adrenaline. We played little modified versions of Octopus Tag. And Chris was constantly constantly CONSTANTLY singing Lady GaGa while we played. I kept telling him to turn it off but he kept on going. singing in his tone-deaf voice, having little spaz attacks on the ground supposedly called "dancing", and repeating lyrics and prancing around me and getting in my face. I tried putting him in his place but that only provoked him to get physical.
Chris chased me and grabbed me from behind and I guess tried to throw me to the ground, but obviously didn't know what he was doing. So I kept pushing buttons:
"Oh god! Get it off me! Oh why did I not buy that rape whistle when I had the chance!"
Soon he was practically flailing me back and forth like some rag doll.
"Don't let him eat me! Somebody help!"
He finally got me on the ground and I curled up in a fetal position acting like I was just traumatized. When I got up Pedro was walking after Chris to scare the living hell out of him to the point where Chris surrendered by curling up on the ground. Misha ran over to make sure I wasn't sexually abused or something. I love you too Misha ^_^
Towards the end of class most of my nerves broke and I took shots at Chris every chance I got. But he just wouldn't let up on my temper. While he was all up in my face after I made a smart remark toward him, the teacher finally stepped in and tried to settle our dispute.
She told us we were both being a disruption and need to just drop the situation. I only wish... And even if he hate each other we need to at least respect one another. When she was finished she had us shake hands... But I didn't.
"Chris is being the better man right now Christian," the teacher said. "He's at least trying to apologize."
"That's because he has to!" I retaliated. "But I only apologize when I'm sorry."
She pulled me aside and told me I needed to calm down and just take a deep breath. Pedro even came up and tried to clam me down, too, giving me a bro hug which I weakly returned. We never shook hands, and I'm glad the teacher realized that instead of trying to push me.
And from that moment on I just felt like absolute shit the whole ride home. I was barely responsive when mum asked me about my day but I admitted to her I just didn't feel good enough to talk.
Things seemed to cheer up when Nick gave me a phone call. And good news! He's able to go to Homecoming on Friday. Jen said she might be able to give us a ride as well. Even mum agreed to let me as long as she knows where Nick and Jen live.
The plan is going to be me going home with Nick after school and have Jen pick us up at his house when it's time to leave for the dance. So the clouds on my day are fading thankfully. And now I have something to look forward to this week!
Live.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The Thing About Mum
For some reason that Windowlicker song makes me nauseous whenever I listen to it... Is Aphex Twin haunting my Walkman? O_O
Just as I suspected, Nick's ear looks like shit. It was practically purple (perfect for tomorrow :P) since he obviously didn't clean it well. I'm bringing in the bottle of solution for him tomorrow for sure. Since it's an awfully pretty earring, and on the right, too.
He's awfully fond of me ever since I said yes to him. He even invited me to sleep over in Friday night, though the folks surely won't let me. But we may consider an after school visit. Though I can't totally confirm it with mum yet... After our talk.
"So what's going on, Christian?"
Just cut to the chase mum.
"Not much, mum..."
"What about this boyfriend? You know what I told you about not dating until you're 16."
"And you know that I told you I wasn't going to follow that rule. I listen to every single rule you make. But I get to decide the rules on this one, mum. I at least want some freedom."
"Well that just isn't happening in this house. You're just not mature enough."
"You know just how fucking mature I am. Maturity isn't measured by age, mum. Age is just a number."
"I just don't want you dating right now. It's just gonna be a distraction."
"Alright, I want one legitimate reason how it's a distraction." And mum just stayed quiet. "You see, you don't have any reason!"
"No!You're gonna be so preoccupied with this person and your friends that you won't be able to focus on your schoolwork."
"So, basically, I'm not allowed to have any sort of social life at all now?"
"No... There's gonna be a lot of people in your life, and I don't want you committing to one person right now."
"There really is no other way of going about those things mom. I won't ever commit to anyone if you won't let me."
The conversation over Nick drifted into the matters of me not being open to her...
"Look, mum, I know you want me to tell you what's going on in my life but--"
"I do!"
Tears were beginning to well up in my eyes. "That's just it! You're too clingy. You try so hard to know what I'm up to that I have to try and get away from you!"
I could see mum's eyes glistening as well now. "But you never tell me when you're having problems with other people which makes me worry!"
"But that's because there aren't any problems! In case you haven't noticed, I have absolutely zero enemies! everything has been just fine!"
"But how would you handle a problem if someone was giving you crap?"
"I'd tell the guidance office. If someone was trying to hurt me, I'd hit them so I could get away from them. I may have never been in a fight, but I can still throw a pretty freaking mean punch."
And then she has the gall to question my sexuality!...
"I just want you to be sure--"
"Stop! What do you mean by that?"
"Well, when you were 13 you told me you were sure you liked boys. But every time before that you were certain you liked girls."
I was ready to burst into tears now. "That's because I was fucking brainwashed into thinking that by those total dickholes I called my friends!" I waved my hand toward the window to represent the direction of the neighborhood boys I hung out with for the first 12 years of my life.
"Does Damien even know?"
"Probably. But if he does he probably doesn't care enough to talk to me since I basically cut myself off from my so-called "friends"... They didn't call or anything. Because they really never gave a shit about me."
"Even Max and Yuki?"
"Please. They worshiped Damien. Especially Max. And after that I actually had no friends at all. When I ate lunch, I was just looking for an open seat, let alone with people."
"And then you befriended 7th graders?"
"Yeah, Venus and Amanda. And that basically spread out to more friends."
Then she pointed out a certain topic...
"You know I worry about you. What with things like HIV and AIDS and--"
"Please... don't fucking say that..."
"I'm just saying you never know who you might be sleeping with and--"
"You can get it from anyone!"
"I just worry about you kids. All of you. If I don't know what you're doing I think the worst things possible and suspect something happened. The last thing I want is to bury one of you before I die."
"That's why we take the extra measures to make sure we are safe, mum. Locking the doors, having our cell phones, keeping an ear out when you're not home..."
"But when you don't answer your phones I get paranoid."
"You can't always expect us to pick up, mum. If we're busy doing something we're not gonna notice our phone's ringing. I call you all the time and you never pick up!"
"Yeah but I always check back." No you don't! I have to keep calling!
"Look. You raised us to be as safe and precautious as we can be. You have to be able to trust us at some point."
We continued to talk about her motherly instinct to always worry about her kids. And I had to tell her that there are somethings that she just can't do to control us. Like our personal lives and relations with other people. We can't be on a leash forever because when we finally do leave we won't come back so she can tie us up again.
It also drifted into how my dad is so stubborn that he won't be able to convince. And how he constantly asserts school as our number one priority. Which, we all know, is just so we won't need him to get into college because he can't afford even one year for any of us. And when we don't do well in school he yells and screams the same old shit about us doing shit wrong when we maybe just need a little help. Then when he yells at us for not coming to him, he doesn't realize that we don't come to him because we know how he is about schoolwork. And you know what? I'm not gonna be afraid to tell him that when he does start the fireworks.
So to wrap up today, my mom never allowed me to have a boyfriend, but she never said no either. So in that case the choice is up to me. *DING* And I hope I got the message to her that I demand freedom in my life, and the reason why I don't talk to her about my problems is because there aren't any.
I really hope she got something about me out of this. I know I got something out of her.
Live.
Just as I suspected, Nick's ear looks like shit. It was practically purple (perfect for tomorrow :P) since he obviously didn't clean it well. I'm bringing in the bottle of solution for him tomorrow for sure. Since it's an awfully pretty earring, and on the right, too.
He's awfully fond of me ever since I said yes to him. He even invited me to sleep over in Friday night, though the folks surely won't let me. But we may consider an after school visit. Though I can't totally confirm it with mum yet... After our talk.
"So what's going on, Christian?"
Just cut to the chase mum.
"Not much, mum..."
"What about this boyfriend? You know what I told you about not dating until you're 16."
"And you know that I told you I wasn't going to follow that rule. I listen to every single rule you make. But I get to decide the rules on this one, mum. I at least want some freedom."
"Well that just isn't happening in this house. You're just not mature enough."
"You know just how fucking mature I am. Maturity isn't measured by age, mum. Age is just a number."
"I just don't want you dating right now. It's just gonna be a distraction."
"Alright, I want one legitimate reason how it's a distraction." And mum just stayed quiet. "You see, you don't have any reason!"
"No!You're gonna be so preoccupied with this person and your friends that you won't be able to focus on your schoolwork."
"So, basically, I'm not allowed to have any sort of social life at all now?"
"No... There's gonna be a lot of people in your life, and I don't want you committing to one person right now."
"There really is no other way of going about those things mom. I won't ever commit to anyone if you won't let me."
The conversation over Nick drifted into the matters of me not being open to her...
"Look, mum, I know you want me to tell you what's going on in my life but--"
"I do!"
Tears were beginning to well up in my eyes. "That's just it! You're too clingy. You try so hard to know what I'm up to that I have to try and get away from you!"
I could see mum's eyes glistening as well now. "But you never tell me when you're having problems with other people which makes me worry!"
"But that's because there aren't any problems! In case you haven't noticed, I have absolutely zero enemies! everything has been just fine!"
"But how would you handle a problem if someone was giving you crap?"
"I'd tell the guidance office. If someone was trying to hurt me, I'd hit them so I could get away from them. I may have never been in a fight, but I can still throw a pretty freaking mean punch."
And then she has the gall to question my sexuality!...
"I just want you to be sure--"
"Stop! What do you mean by that?"
"Well, when you were 13 you told me you were sure you liked boys. But every time before that you were certain you liked girls."
I was ready to burst into tears now. "That's because I was fucking brainwashed into thinking that by those total dickholes I called my friends!" I waved my hand toward the window to represent the direction of the neighborhood boys I hung out with for the first 12 years of my life.
"Does Damien even know?"
"Probably. But if he does he probably doesn't care enough to talk to me since I basically cut myself off from my so-called "friends"... They didn't call or anything. Because they really never gave a shit about me."
"Even Max and Yuki?"
"Please. They worshiped Damien. Especially Max. And after that I actually had no friends at all. When I ate lunch, I was just looking for an open seat, let alone with people."
"And then you befriended 7th graders?"
"Yeah, Venus and Amanda. And that basically spread out to more friends."
Then she pointed out a certain topic...
"You know I worry about you. What with things like HIV and AIDS and--"
"Please... don't fucking say that..."
"I'm just saying you never know who you might be sleeping with and--"
"You can get it from anyone!"
"I just worry about you kids. All of you. If I don't know what you're doing I think the worst things possible and suspect something happened. The last thing I want is to bury one of you before I die."
"That's why we take the extra measures to make sure we are safe, mum. Locking the doors, having our cell phones, keeping an ear out when you're not home..."
"But when you don't answer your phones I get paranoid."
"You can't always expect us to pick up, mum. If we're busy doing something we're not gonna notice our phone's ringing. I call you all the time and you never pick up!"
"Yeah but I always check back." No you don't! I have to keep calling!
"Look. You raised us to be as safe and precautious as we can be. You have to be able to trust us at some point."
We continued to talk about her motherly instinct to always worry about her kids. And I had to tell her that there are somethings that she just can't do to control us. Like our personal lives and relations with other people. We can't be on a leash forever because when we finally do leave we won't come back so she can tie us up again.
It also drifted into how my dad is so stubborn that he won't be able to convince. And how he constantly asserts school as our number one priority. Which, we all know, is just so we won't need him to get into college because he can't afford even one year for any of us. And when we don't do well in school he yells and screams the same old shit about us doing shit wrong when we maybe just need a little help. Then when he yells at us for not coming to him, he doesn't realize that we don't come to him because we know how he is about schoolwork. And you know what? I'm not gonna be afraid to tell him that when he does start the fireworks.
So to wrap up today, my mom never allowed me to have a boyfriend, but she never said no either. So in that case the choice is up to me. *DING* And I hope I got the message to her that I demand freedom in my life, and the reason why I don't talk to her about my problems is because there aren't any.
I really hope she got something about me out of this. I know I got something out of her.
Live.
Monday, October 18, 2010
So I Said Yes
What do you focus on here? The song or the video?
It's not like we never spoke to each other until just last night. We've been friends ever since he got with Griffin weeks ago. And to be honest, no one really ever goes on dates before considering each other for a relationship anymore. The system we usually go by is ask someone out, and then if they agree to be your boyfriend, then you can plan together time. It's pretty much been the case with every couple I've ever seen.
So I did say yes to Nick. When I first walked into school I was sucked into his little circle of people where we conversed until the bell rang. Then as we were heading up to our classrooms I casually said, "Oh yeah Nick, my answer is yes" for added humor. He had the biggest smile until we parted to homeroom.
So I wasn't actually in welding for exploratory today. It was actually Culinary. The class was split between those going to work in the bakery and those going to work in the restaurant. Pedro and Misha were in the bakery with a few others while I was with Hunter, and Pedro's girlfriend Melodie. There were supposed to be a couple others with us but they weren't here today.
I am impressed at how before I could take two steps into the class, the instructors could piss me off. They told me I wasn't allowed to wear my new women's snow hat I bought yesterday or have my backpack on me. So I had to find my locker for the first time and run all the way back to an already started class. Hmph...
So instead of actually doing meaningful culinary work, we were just used the whole day. First we slaved over two boxes of collard greens, removing their stems. Then we carried supplies delivered this morning, and picked up the trash. And oh boy did everything have to be perfectly squeaky clean! And guess who had to do it?
I figured there would actually be something involving making food rather than just being little helpers for the day. And while that happened Misha and the others got to bake cookies to take home.
During lunch I left my table to go sit with Nick and his table. He made room for me to squeeze in next to him. I never knew he was friends with look-alike-of-me Ian. He recognized me from the trench coat day. :P And I found out that Nick was having his brother pierce his ear after school. I imagined a sewing needle in a dusty bedroom for some reason. I just hope he knows how to take care of it because if it gets infected like mine did he'd have to take it out. Lucky for me mine got infectd long after I pierced it so I just had to clean it out with alcohol.
You wanna know the real bitch about this? Tomorrow Misha's group gets to help cook for a barbecue and eat, too. With my luck our group will be doing grunt work in the bakery, too.
Misha was awfully interested in me being with Nick. She said she was worried about me, and didn't want me to get hurt. If anything I feared I would be the one to fuck things up in a relationship. I think it really just had to do with Griffin seeing as they got together right after Nick and Griffin broke up. Maybe Griffin's story was a bit exaggerated. But I refuse to get paranoid.
Rita was all on board, though. She told me he can talk a lot. So I joked back "I'll shut him up" with a wink. Rita laughed saying I better. :P
Live.
Sorry if it disgusts you... It did me, too. You won't forget the face...
I just want to take the time to respond to a couple comments from my last post.
Billy said...
Whoa! Slow down a bit. A short conversation, then a text and you're (almost) boyfriends?
Take a moment to get to know him a bit better, spend some time with him, go out on a couple of dates first before you take the plunge. Then, if the chemistry is right, by playing just a little hard to get, you end up being more desirable and not just another one week wonder.
Use your head not your ... don't let your hormones rule!
Chris said...
I'd say go on a date or two with him without necessarily committing to being "boyfriends". I don't see any dealbreakers in your list of "cons".
Sure, be cautious, but why not see where it leads? The opportunities you regret later in life are usually the ones you don't take advantage of.
I just want to take the time to respond to a couple comments from my last post.
Billy said...
Whoa! Slow down a bit. A short conversation, then a text and you're (almost) boyfriends?
Take a moment to get to know him a bit better, spend some time with him, go out on a couple of dates first before you take the plunge. Then, if the chemistry is right, by playing just a little hard to get, you end up being more desirable and not just another one week wonder.
Use your head not your ... don't let your hormones rule!
Chris said...
I'd say go on a date or two with him without necessarily committing to being "boyfriends". I don't see any dealbreakers in your list of "cons".
Sure, be cautious, but why not see where it leads? The opportunities you regret later in life are usually the ones you don't take advantage of.
It's not like we never spoke to each other until just last night. We've been friends ever since he got with Griffin weeks ago. And to be honest, no one really ever goes on dates before considering each other for a relationship anymore. The system we usually go by is ask someone out, and then if they agree to be your boyfriend, then you can plan together time. It's pretty much been the case with every couple I've ever seen.
So I did say yes to Nick. When I first walked into school I was sucked into his little circle of people where we conversed until the bell rang. Then as we were heading up to our classrooms I casually said, "Oh yeah Nick, my answer is yes" for added humor. He had the biggest smile until we parted to homeroom.
So I wasn't actually in welding for exploratory today. It was actually Culinary. The class was split between those going to work in the bakery and those going to work in the restaurant. Pedro and Misha were in the bakery with a few others while I was with Hunter, and Pedro's girlfriend Melodie. There were supposed to be a couple others with us but they weren't here today.
I am impressed at how before I could take two steps into the class, the instructors could piss me off. They told me I wasn't allowed to wear my new women's snow hat I bought yesterday or have my backpack on me. So I had to find my locker for the first time and run all the way back to an already started class. Hmph...
So instead of actually doing meaningful culinary work, we were just used the whole day. First we slaved over two boxes of collard greens, removing their stems. Then we carried supplies delivered this morning, and picked up the trash. And oh boy did everything have to be perfectly squeaky clean! And guess who had to do it?
I figured there would actually be something involving making food rather than just being little helpers for the day. And while that happened Misha and the others got to bake cookies to take home.
During lunch I left my table to go sit with Nick and his table. He made room for me to squeeze in next to him. I never knew he was friends with look-alike-of-me Ian. He recognized me from the trench coat day. :P And I found out that Nick was having his brother pierce his ear after school. I imagined a sewing needle in a dusty bedroom for some reason. I just hope he knows how to take care of it because if it gets infected like mine did he'd have to take it out. Lucky for me mine got infectd long after I pierced it so I just had to clean it out with alcohol.
You wanna know the real bitch about this? Tomorrow Misha's group gets to help cook for a barbecue and eat, too. With my luck our group will be doing grunt work in the bakery, too.
Misha was awfully interested in me being with Nick. She said she was worried about me, and didn't want me to get hurt. If anything I feared I would be the one to fuck things up in a relationship. I think it really just had to do with Griffin seeing as they got together right after Nick and Griffin broke up. Maybe Griffin's story was a bit exaggerated. But I refuse to get paranoid.
Rita was all on board, though. She told me he can talk a lot. So I joked back "I'll shut him up" with a wink. Rita laughed saying I better. :P
Live.
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