Boyfriend

Irresistible title, right?

So I got a text message from Nick last night. He apparently swapped contacts with Eric, who somehow had my number, at the beginning of the year. I wonder why he never told me sooner so I could have his as well. So we had a short conversation until it was time for bed. Then when I wake up the next morning I have an unread text message on my phone:

From Nick 10/16/10 8:54 AM
"Will you go out with me please?"

Well he did say please ;3... But I have to think it over. Let's see the reasons on both sides here:

Why I should:

• He's insanely cute, and a little nerdy ;)
• He's Russian, so he has a natural badassness to him
• I was right when I thought the way he acted around me while he was with Griffin was suspicious
• He had my number this whole year and waited until now to ask me; little shy and insecure
• Has some flamboyancy to him. Not overpowering but a good amount.

Why I shouldn't:

• I'd be his third boyfriend this year, even though he hadn't really met me until he was already taken.
• His last two boyfriends ended up dumping him after a week of them being together
• Can be awfully bitchy when he's upset
• Not sure if he would be okay with my parents not wanting me to have a boyfriend
• His personality is cloudy and I can't read it well

Damn... It's a tie. I need some advice here, people. I went to ask Rita, but she had to flee from the computer because of her crazy family. Hopefully she'll be back later tonight. I mean, I really like him and all but for all I know I could just be a rebound. Or maybe not. We did become pretty good friends quickly, and maybe we should see where this goes.

But I'm not an expert on relationships. My only boyfriend was Ian and that didn't really go well. Then again we hardly knew each other and only really went out because we both liked boys. I'm also pretty hesitant and shy so I'm not really a go-to kind of person. And if Nick isn't a go-to boy either, it's just gonna be awkward.

I had to say something or else he'd be an emotional nerve-wreck wondering why I didn't respond. But I didn't have time since I was behind a counter at the market. I sneaked a text to him:

"I'm at work now I'll have to talk to you on Monday."

Not sure if that message helped my case or not... He just replied with "Ok". Great... Emotionless. And in case I didn't mention, autumn hasn't really been a very "relationship happy" month for couples. Then again I don't believe in mystical forces so maybe I'm just paranoid.

My mind is spiraling at the moment so I'm gonna cut this post short for today. I gotta go shop around for a few things so I'll be back tomorrow.

Live.

Why Being an Individual Kicks Ass

This is just the perfect Anarchy song that isn't actually about Anarchy.

Boys Night Out - Medicating

Well now it seems Rita is my partner in Anarchy. As we are Anarchists, we usually just joke about the whole thing to make time go by.

Me: "What's with Mr. D doing making us all write the same paper for him?... Conforming us to describe the future hellhole of society because of his authority."

Rita let me wear her friend Rex's leather trench coat today. Rex was letting her borrow it but since it's kind of heavy she let's me wear it during school. I apparently look diabolic/sexy in it. I was twice told I looked like "a boss". That slang reeked of a failed attempt at making a fad...

You know what's great about being totally different from everyone else? When you actually do find someone you can relate to in a way, shit feels great. Even the smallest of things. Like in Algebra today. Since I was in the leather coat Jen wore my flannel hoodie. While searching through the pockets Jen found my phone, which Rita just so happened to also be getting.

Note: I have a kick ass phone which no one else has because it was never advertised. You'd only know about it if you found it while browsing in the AT&T store.

"Hey, cool I'm getting that same one!" She said. So I was able to assure her of it's badassness. Then Jen pulls my Sony Walkman out of my treasure-chest of a jacket, which gives her an eyegasm because I am the only one else on the planet who has that exact model. So instead of math, she decides to listen to it while covering the earplugs with my hoodie. At one point she was headbanging so I peek at the Walkman and see "Sin" by Nine Inch Nails. Approved :)

At the end of class Jen mentioned that I hooked her on NIN (not surprised by the song choice) and asked me if I had the charger.

"Two, actually"....

I kid you not, she completely shit bricks when I said that and asked if she could borrow one. And when I said yes, she shat the remainder of her bricks and was happier than a preteen on acid. She hadn't been able to use hers in months because she lost hers. Now we're closer than ever ^_^

And that's why conformism is bullshit, kids :)

At the end of the day during Chemistry, we were out of goggles and I was the only one without a pair. Lucky for me Rita had a costume pair of steampunk goggles which combined with my trench coat made me look like a major badass. I joked and said that I was:

"Buildin' a sentry."

I didn't expect anyone to get it but I heard a voice say: "E-e-rectin' a dispenser!" First time out of all my Team Fortress 2 references I had gotten a response. We went back and forth with even more Engineer comments:

"Teleporter goin' up!"
"Spy's sappin' my sentry!"
"Meh-eh-eh-eh-dic!"
"SENTRY DAHOWN!!!"

... At least 90% of those reading that will have no idea what makes it so funny, but if you play the game it makes you piss yourself to hear it somewhere else than from the computer speakers.

After school I got a call form my sister saying she was gonna drive me home today. Couldn't have worked out better since I needed to pick up those Skills USA forms. But when I left the building, I found myself in an empty lot of trashed cars, a rusty oil tank, broken gravel, and garbage... It was a pretty hardcore spot; I actually wanted to sit down and have a drink by the rusty tank. But I had to make my way to my sister's car.

Apparently she called me 3 times before she gave up and left. So I called back and the conversation went as follows:

Amy: "Where the fuck were you?"
Me: "Sorry, I had to get the Skills application."
Amy: "Well I called you 3 fucking times! Why didn't you answer?"
Me: "It was on vibrate and I couldn't feel it. Sorry."
Amy: "I left, you know?"
Me: "Well I'm in the parking lot now soooo...."
Amy: "Alright, I'll be there in like, five fucking seconds!"
Me: "Hey, FUCK OFF! Alright? I don't need this bullshit Amy! Now turn your ass arou—"
*conversation ended*


I pretty much wasted the rest of my day reading hilarious comics on the glorious Scandinavian themed "humoncomics.com". Honestly I learned way more about my paradise than I expected since I really limited myself to Sweden and Finland. Here's a little taste featuring Denmark, Norway, and Iceland:



Here's the comic with the description for those who didn't get the joke

Live.

I Am an Anarchist

Okay... I need to stop spending late nights up. Last night my excuse was being mindfucked by Nine Inch Nails music videos... Go watch "Happiness in Slavery" and shit bricks and possibly vomit. What I find amazing about that video is that it hasn't been removed due to the obvious male nudity in it. I guess since it's obviously not what people remember about the video it didn't matter. I also saw "Come to Daddy" by Aphex Twin and nearly cried...

You know? What the hell:

!!!WARNING!!! MATURE AND OBSCENE CONTENT. 18+ ONLY (But hell, who's stopping you?)

Jen was wearing a white British military coat. I begged her to let my wear it and she gave in. We figured it would be too big since Jen seemed to be a size extra small, but it actually fit well. Little tight around the arms, but it was nice. Apparently I looked stunning and realized the whole class was staring. God am I that sexy? :P Even the English teacher, who will now be addressed as Mr. D, thought it was a nice look for me. He said it made me look like some British star named Andy An-something (one syllable, though.) When I looked the jacket up later I saw it was a woman's jacket. No wonder Rita said it made me look more feminine... I'm still gonna get one.

Okay, I've had it up to here with relationships. Let's see... First drama between Nick and Griffin (then Nick again a week later), then Griffin and Misha, then Rita and her boyfriend, and then today we find out that Jen's boyfriend cheated on her.

FUCK!

Can anyone be happy in a relationship just once? They say when you're single, you always see happy couples, but I haven't seen any yet! Do I even still want to be in a relationship anymore?... Of course. But now I won't be surprised if shit doesn't work out when I am.

Once again I wasn't able to attend the Skills USA meeting. This time when me and Rita went to the meeting, the room was empty and locked. We went to ask the secretary, but she hadn't a clue. Secretary asks 3 more secretaries, just as brain dead. I thought knowing these things was their job! That's why they're right in front of you when you enter the office.

When study period came around, Jen was looking a lot better than earlier. I think she just needed to get some emotions out, wherever she ran off to when she got the news. Me and Rita looked at a huge map of the school's district, and finally decided to do something about Jen's hometown, which was just a little white blotch in the middle of the cities. I whipped out my Post-It pad and wrote the town followed by a "^_^" smiley. I sure hope Jen saw it.

Last day of Golf was today. While leaving the building I peeked in at the GSA club. My heart broke to see only 3 people in there. I can't remember the first two, but I did see a middle school mate of mine. Eric "Shy Boy Sunshine". He a really odd one, and socially awkward. He has barely ever spoken 3 words to anyone, sits by himself, and doesn't do much besides bury himself in a fantasy novel. I only remember seeing him half-enjoy himself when I joined Rita and my ex Ian at a LARP event (Live Action Role-Playing). Though his fun didn't last long when he slipped and busted up his knee. He didn't even cringe when it happened though. Just that same emotionless expression.

I call his Shy Boy Sunshine because of the obvious shyness, and his scrawny features. He's no taller than Liam. Ever see the movie "A Girl Like Me: Gwen Araujo", a drama about the life of a pre-op transgender man to woman, and her tear-jerking murder. Well Eric reminds me of the boy who plays little Gwen, at the time known as Eddie Araujo, in the movie. Here:

From what I know about him he wouldn't go to a GSA meeting just because he supports it. I think it may be because he needs some support. I thought from the second I saw him that he was gay, and that was before I knew that I myself was gay, too. You know? With Golf being over now, I might just try to attend a GSA meeting. But I don't know if I can expect myself to do it. I'll try, though.

Mr. D said that my brother asked what he thought of me. When I asked him what he told my brother, he said I should just ask Kav. And when I did, he said,

"Oh yeah, he called you an anarchist."

... Anarchist, huh? Has a nice ring to it. Oh and would you look at that! I just so happen to have a shirt with a big old Anarchist logo on it. Well I know what I'm wearing tomorrow!

Live.

Liam's a Homophobe, huh?

From: Chris
*ahem*

How shall I put this?

YOU TEASE!

This is how you reward your loyal audience of thousands? hundreds? dozens? both of us? Holding out on us at the exact moment you hint as some particularly juicy piece of gossip? I'm *totally* going to unfriend you now.

(Back tomorrow, same time, same place).

You see... What happened that night was supposed to be a secret. And if a certain someone were to read this while skimming through my monthly internet history, it might be a bit of trouble, seeing as it would cause a commotion over me and Luke. The other two probably won't have that bad of problems seeing as they don't have a very big status. Luke on the other hand is high in the social rankings, and not to mention has a girlfriend. I will tell you that he had to "tend" to himself shortly after it happened, which gave off a gaydar signal.

Even if he denies it, he still doesn't even know how one's sexuality works. When I told him that being gay wasn't a choice, he was surprised to find this out. So he obviously wouldn't know if he was gay/bisexual if he was. I just hope if he is, that he finds out before he grows old and it's too late to be open about it. I ought to give him the facts and let him figure out the rest on his own. The information would be good for him, straight or not. Prevents him from putting his foot in his mouth if the topic ever comes up.


Rita was awfully sad today. Apparently her and her boyfriend fought with each other and aren't talking. Though she wanted to break up with him anyway, she didn't want to end things so harshly. But for all we know they could patch things up or they could move on like Rita wanted. but until then all I could do was cheer Rita up with Post-It note doodles and my incredible sense of humor ^_^

Ugh, straight people...

So yesterday during Latin I greeted Sneha with a hug, to which Liam responded, "Are you guys going out?" Sneha mentioned I was gay and Liam's face drained and looked so shocked. As I figured he would get over it he apparently didn't. First thing he did in Latin today was request a seat change. It may have been thought to sit with one of his friends, but he was willing to take any open seat. I'm sure the teacher, remind you she's also the leader of the GSA, wouldn't be too pleased to know why he REALLY wanted to switch.

I was going to confront him but I felt I didn't want to cause more trouble. Though now that I think about it he wouldn't dare throw a punch seeing as he's scrawny and short while I top him by 5 inches and have more muscle. Though I'm not a fighter, I can and will throw a punch if I have to. The consequences can wait. Maybe I can have Brad, a friend from middle school and the boy who sits in front of me, ask him why he switched seats. Liam doesn't have any reason to lie to Brad and is too stupid to consider it a trap.

When Rita entered history, she was much more lively and cheery then this morning. "She put her arms around me and Sneha and said, "Hey guys!" in an very more-colorful-than-Rita tone. I asked why she was so jumpy and she told us how she slept through French and felt totally refreshed. I made a mental not to remember that method.

Well shit... I forgot to attend the Skills USA meeting during lunch. Well not so much as forgot as misunderstanding the time. I thought it was after school but Rita told me otherwise. Oh well, there's another meeting tomorrow so I'll make sure to go. I just hope nothing happens during lunch I wouldn't want to miss... Dammit I probably jinxed that.

Live.

Loooong Time

Recently, a fellow Blogger by the name of Timmy took a turn for the worst in his health and died on October 3rd. His brother made one final post regarding the events which lead to it.

Hey Timmy, if you haunt your brother, make sure you tell him what happens when you die. I'd be eager to read a post on it. Keep partying, wherever you are now (^_^)b


I realized I never made a weekend post. I'll sum it up in a few points. Work went better than usual, I broke 3 straight boys, and I got to relax on my Monday off... What was that second one?

NOT GONNA PUT IT INTO DETAIL! Someone might be watching. Maybe some other time. (pssst! One was Luke ^_^)

ANYWAY... Apparently Misha was suspended. For one day. Which she spent in Canada anyway. Thumbs up! Did I ever mention Joaquin. (I think I called him Wakeem since I had no fucking clue how to spell his name.) Yeah he was that douche who was awfully short with people (especially Henry) and didn't know what 'inflation' meant. Yeah, now he hangs around Rita, Jen, and I like a puppy. And lately, he's been making my Gaydar blink. Then again when has my Gaydar ever been right?

When Rita asked him, he insisted he was straight, but for some reason my Gaydar didn't let him off. I still think he might be, and just never thought about it. Though he did say his mom was a lesbian. Only problem is he had no idea how sexuality worked. Let me expand.

Joaquin: "Yeah my mom's a lesbian but she's not like... Totally like a lesbian."
Me: "Sooo... She's a lesbian, but she's not a lesbian?"

Me and Rita both agree that he's still probably gay, maybe bisexual, or a closet case. Either way he just gives off too strong of an aura for me to let it go.

I was ready to pass out by the time chemistry came around. Luckily there was a small stuffed baby manatee to make the day brighter... Yeah. A fucking manatee! And when gym class topped off the school day, what better sport of the day than hockey. I only quit this year after a whole 6 years of playing goalie so I was a top player for sure.

I started off playing forward but I felt it was already covered. So I did what I did best, and replaced Toby in goal. Good thing, too since even when I told him how to hold the stick right, he couldn't do it. I realize that goalie is now instinct to me since I sub-consciously flared my legs out to stop shots. It should really only be done when I have pads on but I couldn't help it since I was so used to real, hardcore ice hockey.

And I FINALLY returned to Golf today. I am definitely improving even though I hadn't played in a couple weeks. I recorded a furthest drive at about 220 yards, almost equal to the sophomores and juniors. My accuracy has definitely improved, too. The coach had a little competition to win a Pepsi if we pitched it to a yellow beam. I, unexpectedly, won. Good thing, to since I was damn thirsty. There was a second round aiming at a red flag, and I almost won, too. But when seen from a different angle, a boy named Billy was a tad closer.

And after an hour and a half of traffic and freezing my sensitive ass off at a hockey rink I'm home. Tired. Hungry. But home. Oh well, there must be munchies somewhere. Better get started on the rest of my night if I want to catch the premier of Nick Swardson's Pretend Time. This is more captivating than male jailbait... Well, almost.

Live.

"And What Kind of People Can You Love?"

"Any Kind," says Christopher.

If this kid can get it, why don't any of us? Just wanted to share this since it practically brought tears to my eyes :')

Live... Love

"It's Hairdressing; Calm the Fuck Down."

That's because you're a bourgeois American, completely uptight about sex. It's what screws up your children and turns them into sex offenders.

Without Misha in school I felt sort of alone during Cosmo. Though I was able to socialize more with Anita so it made the day go by faster.

And what a day for Griffin to come back! The one day Misha is gone and he returns. Guess the conversation is still put off. At least Misha is starting to get over her worries about him and his "questionable" past.

Sam was awfully frustrated. Someone should have reminded him that we were styling hair. It doesn't really matter if you're good or not. It was the dam hair rolls that got him. So he was in a bit of a mood.

After lunch I was walking back to Cosmo and realized I wasn't even going the right way. But Sam was in front of me so I guess I wasn't alone.

"You're lost," I said in a smart-ass tone. He looked back at me puzzled and I just told hi to follow me. I tried conversing with him but since he was in a mood he just sort of blew me off. By the time we got back he spoke and said:

"Look, I just get frustrated really easy and I'm not really in a talking mood." I finally turned around and put my hand on his shoulder saying:

"It's hairdressing. Just calm the fuck down."

Realizing I kind of sounded stern I gave a reassuring smile. He still felt a bit down but he seemed to be doing better for the rest of the day.

I swear I was ready to take my hair dryer and shove it straight up Chris' fat ass. I'll just star over here:

• He sings Lady GaGa, constantly says how much he loves Lady GaGa, and insists that we call him "GaGa", though I should tell him Nick Swardson already took that for his new show "Pretend Time"

(By the way if anyone deserves his own show it's Nick Swardson. Absolutely the best comedian of all time.)

• When we play music (all the time) he likes to dance and sing along. I have to keep reminding him that public singing is reserved for those who can actually sing.
• Takes peoples seats and even when they ask and then demand he give it back he refuses to lift himself off his beach ball ass and move.
• Sprayed people with alcohol, water, and hairspray whenever they told him off.
• Cried when the teacher took points off for being a whiner and ruining equipment until the teacher gave him a good grade to shut him up. Not like she'll let him back in anyway because the final decision is up to the shop instructors.
• Was in a bad mood so he constantly had to express his mood by pouting until someone noticed his desperate cry for attention.
• Total swish stick. Now I'm all for flamboyancy but the way he does it is totally fake.
• Screws shit up so badly and so often that's it's too much to be by accident. Besically he's purposely careless and impulsive.
• C
• U
• N
• T

A boy Hunter in our exploratory group unleashed some anger on Chris today. Hunter is a giant. Well over 6 feet tall, built like a truck, could push a truck, drinks beer (because he isn't asked for ID; people just assume) but not often so don't get the wrong idea, and has a black leather jacket and slicked back hair.

Chris took my backpack and threw it on the ground "because he needed to move the chair it was on". So Hunter took advantage of the situation to finally get a piece of Chris after the past 2 days of Chris fucking with him. So I let it play out. I asked him to pick it up, and then apologize. He didn't so Hunter backed me up. Chris took a spray bottle and took a squirt at Hunter. Now Hunter had him. He slowly approached him, repeating threats of knocking his teeth in while Chris cowered (running like a fucking fairy).

Hunter got one last squirt from Chris before he took the arm which wielded the bottle and used it to take Chris to the ground and drop the bottle. I Chris didn't squeal Hunter might have just broken his arm. We were all split, and I took a single squirt at Chris with the bottle before we just sat in separate sides of the room before the end of the day.

Oh the weekend approaches. Work again. Grrr, no morning shift. Oh well.

Live.