It wasn't something I'm proud of. And I don't know if I regret it. Did I like it? Everything but my brain tells me yes. I'll start form the beginning.
First off I want to say to my readers that I'm definitely over Nick now. I found out that just recently he got back together with another boy who he kept telling me while we were dating that he hated him. Obviously, he's just a slut. And a very bad one, too.
Now, this Saturday I decided to go to Eric's hangout anyway, even though Nick wasn't going to be there after we broke up. Surprisingly, along with a few others, Amanda was there as well. So I had good fun with them. At one point we even had a cake fight and took the two cakes we brought to this hangout at the park and hit each other in the faces.
At around 9:00, we were greeted by an old friend of ours named Henry. We went to middle school with him and him and I actually became pretty good friends. So it was good company to have him. Of course I hit on him though, even though I knew he was straight.
Nowadays Henry is a druggie, smoking weed when he gets the chance. And when he can't get weed, he'll take over-the-counter drugs like Tylenol or Advil since he discovered that a little extra dose of Ibuprofen will get you high. He asked me a couple times if I wanted to try it but I figure I'll stay clean.
We eventually went to Henry's house because he was gonna claim he had a headache to score some Ibuprofen. Me, Amanda, and Eric ended up in a three person hug against Henry's house. At one point I felt a bit of a touch between my legs. Eric. Was he doing what I think he was doing? Yet for some reason I didn't stop him. No one noticed anyway.
After about 10 minutes Henry wasn't coming back out so we up and left for CVS. When we got there I picked up a water and Amanda got some gummies for us to share. After those gummies I didn't feel so well, so I went to sit behind the store to be alone and ready to vomit. Though soon after I left, Eric followed. He sat down next to me.
"You okay?" He asked.
"Nah, I feel like shit."
"Something wrong?"
"Those life-savers. Not settling well."
There was a long awkward pause. And Eric obviously wanted something by the look in his eyes.
"If you're gonna grab my dick then grab my dick," I told him.
"Okay."
Amanda and our friend Adam were wandering too close so I stood up.
"Come on," I said. And I led him back behind a brick wall by the town High School.
10 minutes later...
"Eric," I said as I began to walk back towards our friends who were probably wondering where we were. "This never happened, okay?"
"Gotcha. Hey, why can't we go out?"
"I just wouldn't work."
"Well, could we be like... Friends with benefits?"
"I don't know."
"Hey," Eric asked after about 20 paces. "Was I... Good?"
"I don't know," I told him, starting to feel emotion overwhelm me.
"Well... Did I do it right? Did you like it?"
"I don't know!" I shouted at him. I felt bad for snapping at him just then, but not enough to apologize.
One last time, I said, "Remember, this NEVER happened."
"Okay."
"Not anyone. Not Amanda, not even the friend who you ca keep and secret with. Because you can't trust anyone with secrets. And they will know anyway which is enough."
"Got it," he said one last time.
Live.
(No Monday post. Not much happened. If you haven't already Friday's post is up and you can read it now.)
Yet another young person taken in by drugs,a shame.It's a good idea to keep clean of that stuff or your life can get screwed.
ReplyDeleteYou certainly are lucky...I think(it sounds as though you didn't like it).Just one questions,what exactly did he do?It sounds like one thing at first,but then it sounds like something else.
Whoa, heavy.
ReplyDeleteI can tell you from personal experience its pretty common to have those second thoughts after the event. What seems like a good idea (or at least not a bad idea) when you're horny, suddenly turns into "Oh my god ! What have I done?".
It sounds like you kind of freaked out a bit after it was all over. And I have this sneaky suspicion your reaction might have freaked Eric out. From an outsider's perspective, you seemed kind of horrible to him, although I understand completely why you acted the way you did (again, been there, done that).
I guess at this point you could either pretend it never happened and never speak of it again, or try to talk to Eric and explain how you were feeling. I just can't imagine he's feeling too good about the whole thing at the moment.
From the description on your blog, not only is Nick a slut, but he's also a prudish slut, which seems like a bizarre combination really.
Hi there, Christian
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about this post for a couple of days, and now I'm ready to comment, Chris has already said pretty much everything I was going to.
So I'll only repeat one point: please talk to Eric. Explain why you reacted the way you did, and reassure him that it did feel OK. He's almost certainly more stressed about this than you are, and a few minutes of your time would probably make him feel a lot happier.
Take care
Mark