Alright, You know What? Fuck It

This blog is just a pain to keep holding on to. Not to mention I can't even keep track of what I write here so it probably makes no sense. My life is getting way too busy to keep doing this. (Funny thing, right? The only people with time to blog are those with the kind of time on their hands. Save for a small 5% of the blogs out there.)

So yeah. I'm killing this blog. But I mean, if you still give a shit I still have a Tumblr.

http://thezomboy.tumblr.com/
^Click (content unrated however so there will be some... Odd things on it.)

And I may regret this but here's my Twitter:
http://twitter.com/TheButlerfly

It's on private so send me a request and I'll let you in. But, not to further inflate my already massive ego, but it's an easily breakable privilege to follow me... So don't fuck it up or you won't see me anymore.

Content also unrated. And if you plan on stalking me FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SANE only stalk me! I'm fine with stalkers on my ass because I can deal with them but my followers & friends are to be left alone! I'll dig my own grave.

So yeah... Bye.

XXXX

Drunk

This was actually form yesterday but I couldn't go on without sharing this.

On the ride to work...

Mom: "Girls dig that you know."
Me: *scoff*
Mom: "Ugh. I know, I know. Thing is... I just can't imagine you kissing another guy."
Me: "... You should've been there."
Mom: "AAAUGH!"


The Med class owns a pair of glasses which, when you put them on, make you see the world as if you were drunk. It was to get the feel of being drunk without the whole fucked up thought processing. We had to walk in a straight line without dropping a tray with a pyramid of cups on it. And I must say, I did so well I could drive home ^_^

Melodie didn't even take a step. She put them on and almost cried because it was "So freaking scary." Actually quite hilarious to watch.

Hunter put on a performance with his. When he put on the glasses he looked around as if he were in another world. "Oh ... COOL!" He wasn't doing anything and people kept shouting for him to move already.
"I'm trying!" He said while he remained like a statue.

1 step... crash. The cups spill. So much for all that "preparation".

Annie tried to draw an eyeball with the goggles on. She first drew one without them, (a fucking artist-looking eyeball FYI), then drew one with them on. When she was done it was clear that none of us can draw as well as Annie even when she's drunk. Lol.

Yeah, that was really the only highlight of today. Meh, oh well.

Live.

Playing Doctor

I fell into Rita's shoulder. "Shit went down in Sweden!" ;~;
"What?"
I broke my crying act. "A suicide bomber set off a bomb in Stockholm. But since tragedy is impossible in Sweden, he fucked up and ended up being the only one who ended up dead. A couple were injured, but not dead."
"Wow..." she thought for a second. "Oh yeah, I wanted to show you this."

She handed me a booklet about a recent group of people who want Socialism in America. Though with America as big and as populated and as insane as America, Socialism is near impossible. I never found the time to read the booklet anyway.

We're now in the Medical Assistant shop class. "Assistant" sort of came off as a blinking light to me but it was explained that it was kind of a basis if one planned on attending a medical school post-high school.

I slept through the video played at the start of class since I had been up until 2 am last night on the computer since I just won't stop when I find something to do.

Later we took ultrasounds to find our pulse. Now, to most everyone the idea of an ultrasound is only used to find babies. So when Melodie was getting her pulse checked I shouted "It's a boy!"

When it was my turn I wanted to get it on my neck since everyone else already got it on their wrist. The gel was COLD! Then when the device was put on my neck you could faintly hear my heart beating. It was mostly clouded by what I assume was breathing. It sounded like wind over the machine.

"I can hear the ocean!" *Cue giggles*

It was a half day so the class was cut short. But of course I don't get to relax, NOOO... I have to sell hockey equipment to a sports pawn shop. Though while I was there I did find something interesting.

I went to check out the golf clubs and mysteriously placed in the middle of all of them... A fucking electric scooter. Now, if there was one thing I always wanted as a child, this would probably be it. Sad part is the starter was broken so I couldn't buy it. Though the shop is going to have a look and see if they can do anything so thumbs up.

Gotta go to work now. Shit! I'm late!

Live.

On the Bright Side

I was gonna post earlier today (well... Technically it's yesterday but only dipshits care enough). I ended up sleeping through the whole day. Not to mention work right after school.

So, ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, it turns out it was actually Ian who took my hat and gloves, which he held on to until the next day. He figured I wasn't coming back to the library since again, for the record, it was the end of the day.

Friends kick ass!


Again apologies for no well made post or whatever. I think it might have to do with these odd new vitamins I've been taking. *Reads ingredients*...

It's just a bunch of fucking fish!

What I can't believe is that the cashier was dumb enough to not realize that he was selling drugs to a minor. Just multivitamins or not, it's got a strict warning label and if I were to take more than one of these I might actually die, probably form an OD of Iron.

Oh well, I got the pills, and I'm not suicidal (yet) so it's all good.

No more fluff! Bedtime mister! *taser* GAH! You have work in the morning!

Live. *bzzt* EEP!

Of All the Fucking...

How the FUCK can someone be such trash that they just take shit if nobody's guarding it?

Today at the end of school I left the library for no more than 5 minutes. When I come back, my (expensive) gloves and winter hat were stolen off the desk I was sitting at. I go around the last few classes I was in even though I knew I left them in the library, but nothing.

I go back tot he library and look again when the librarian asks me what I'm looking for. I tell her my problem and she looks around from her seat but sees nothing.

"When were you in here?"
"10 minutes ago."
"Oh... Gosh. Well, I don't see anything..."
I think we established that...

"Fine." And I give up and head to Amy's car to go home.


Nice fucking school they run there. They claim to be better than a vocational high school and raise the very best of students, but really these jack-offs are no better than any other public school future drop-out. Just a bunch of filth who have no fucking feeling for any other person but themselves.

And of course mum bitched at ME because somebody stole my shit.
"Yes, mum, it's my fault some fucktard klepto can't keeps his hands off my damn gloves."
"You need to be more careful."

I just walked out the door shouting behind me, "Of course I need your bullshit right now, mum. It really makes my day."
SLAM!

I went over to a CVS and picked up a new had along with a few other meaningless items I happened to walk by in the store. Because at least I pay for my shit instead of snatching it out of another persons possession.

FUCK! It really takes that little to put me over the edge.

Wow... Just Wow

And I thought Nick was emotionally attached...

Today at lunch Jen came up to me and asked, "Have I told you yet?"
"Yeah, you're on and off boyfriend? I think everybody knows."
"No, no, no. Not that."
She put her mouth to my ear and said,

"We're engaged."
All I could think was, "What the fuck?"

"What the fuck, Jen? Does anyone else know?"
"Yeah I told Rita, Amber, Ian..."
"Did they all tell you you're being incredibly stupid?"
"Yes, actually."
"It's not gonna last. The relationship, maybe. But an engagement? Not a chance." (And I don't think the relationship will last either. I just told her that because the truth would just be pretty mean.)

And she went off like everything was now normal. She'll fucking commit suicide if he breaks up with her now. Though I can't imagine how she could be upset if that were to happen seeing as how it would be the seventh time...

UUAAAGH! Straight people!

Had to get that out, but can't write the rest of the day. Just another usual one anyway. Got schoolwork to do like a motherfucker, so no time to reflect.

Live.

Accepted

Seems my leg is doing quite better. Though stairs still make me yelp as I walk on them. At least I can walk without looking like I have some sort of poor limp.

I think I need more sleep. I stay up hours on end typing away on my computer. And it's funny because at around 5:00 I can never find anything to do. Yet once it's 10:00 I suddenly have hours of shit to be done. And it's not like I can make myself get up from my desk. It's an addiction! (Oh I'm such a nerd)

I had an anarchist moment with the Chemistry teacher again! He was relating science to the ever-so-stupid American way of life. He saw me smiling the whole time he was bashing and asked me what was so funny.

"It just makes me awfully happy too hear this..." I told him.
He laughed and gave me the "I'm watching you" gesture.
"What? Would you like me to bring out the chart?" (My "propaganda")

Everyone in the class started giggling including the Chem teacher since they've all seen it by now. ;)


I'm not feeling too well since I forgot to take my pill yesterday so my stomach's being a bitch. But I'd like to say one final congratulations to my sister Amy who just got a letter of acceptance into her number 1 choice for colleges. When she opened the letter she started screaming and calling up mum and a few friends to spread the great news. I'm awful happy for her as well. Though now I'm going to miss her something terrible when she moves away.

At least it's fairly close by our home so a visit every now and then won't be a hassle. But still...

Live.

My Leg!

Jen got back together with her ex-ex-ex-ex... Boyfriend for about the fifth time. It was odd because when he told her she wanted him back she started bawling her eyes out all happy and cheery about it. But Rita, Ian, Me, and pretty much everyone else who discussed this with us all agreed that it was just going to end up like every other time and they would be apart once again and then Jen will be an emotional wreck.... Again.

Ugh, straight people.


During gym class I saw Pedro all over this girl whom I had never met. "This is my new girlfriend." How did I not expect you to get a new one that fast? So that meant that Melodie really meant it when she was talking about how she was done with Pedro last week. I thought they were just in a fight. But it's fine. She's a pretty nice girl


. But practically right after the game began I was knocked over by a junior far larger than me. I'm not sure why it hurt so badly but it was killer. I think his knee drove into my thigh or something. My leg was paralyzed and I couldn't bend or move it at all. The pain was now surging throughout my entire leg...

"Ahahahaha!" Why I was laughing so hard I did not know. I would think at that level of pain I would be cursing like a sailor but instead I was in a fit of laughter.

When I was able to move my leg again I shifted off the sideline and onto the bleachers and observe for the rest of the game. Later I took a visit to the nurse. Apparently all they're allowed to do is give me ice and a couple pain pills. Might as well have just given me a package of crackers...

On the bright side it did get me out of work after school. No way I would have been able to work when I couldn't even walk without the throbbing. And mum went to the bank and cashed my last few weeks of paychecks to get me over $120. And that's only half of it. The other half went into the bank.

Hopefully I won't wake up to an even worse leg tomorrow. It's bad enough I already have to walk up and down stairs every 20 minutes with my current pain...

Live.

Have I Just Been Lazy?

When was the last time I posted? Oh well. If I can't remember it's been too long. So where was I?

Oh yeah! Me and Nick are over... Again... But this time for good. His life is just so fucked up, something's wrong his brother, and he might like girls. He wanted to talk to be about it but I honestly didn't want to hear it. So I just haven't talked to him since.

I didn't actually find out we were over until I read his Facebook... Yeah, I found out through fucking Facebook. Then again the only time he ever has any balls anyway is when it's through a computer. I could have sworn that when someone breaks up with you that you're the first one to know. But whatever. He's not worth any of my time anymore.

And instead of setting my status to single, I set it to "Widowed", just to scare him for a bit.

I have other interests anyway.

So as for not posting I may have just been lazy. Most of my free time was dedicated to some Left 4 Dead :P
But there were other times where I just felt like absolute shit. It's the medicine. If I don't take it one day, when I take it the next day it makes me hungry yet not able to eat anything and a searing headache. I sometimes just curl up in a ball and lay on my bed for an hour or so before there's things to do.

Yeah I'm busy, too. Holy shit, a teenage boy has a life!

Henry messaged me yesterday asking me when we were going to meet up. But it's not like I can just go out whenever. And mum is always keeping track of us so she can know where we all are at one time. If I tell her I'm hanging out with somebody, and a boy, she'll suspect something. So I haven't replied to him yet, that totally-gay bastard ^_^

I think the market is cutting my paychecks every week. They're all WAY smaller than they should be. When reading through the stats on last weeks check there was almost 6 hours worth of pay missing. So I'm calling them tomorrow to flip a bitch.


Pedro is out of our shop class. Wanna guess why? He can't stand Chris to the point where he felt that it was best to just not keep him in the class with us. Me and Hunter of course responded, "Take us with you!" Victor would have done it, too but he was suspended. And THAT is a good story.

We were in the Plumbing shop working on pipelines and such. Chris was just on a roll pissing everyone in the class off. And now we have this boy Nick on team Hostile!
(Yeah. I've decided to put the dislike of Chris into two groups, the Hostiles and the Liberals. Me, Hunter, Pedro, Victor, and Melodie are team hostile since we won't take shit from him. Misha, Anita, Sam, and Nick are on team liberal, which are the ones who hate him but don't say anything to him. Or at least Nick was until Chris tipped him over the edge.)

Back to the story. So Chris was really getting on Pedro's nerves. Backtalking, bitchy-attitude, nag nag nag... He even threatened to get someone to beat him up. Because of course one, Chris totally has friends; two, someone would actually fight for him (and fight Pedro of all people); and three, when hate turns into a fight, you get someone else to fight your battle for you and not back up all the shit you said in the first place.

Pedro was shaking his fists, trying his very hardest not to turn around and deliver one right to Chris' skull. Out of nowhere, Victor pushes past Pedro and I and delivers a hard-as-hell kick right into Chris' bulging midsection.

"You back the fuck away from Pedro. I will kill you." Victor gave Chris a final push into a rack of tools, which practically knocked over.

All I could think was, Oh shit... That was the most I've ever heard Victor speak in English. And it was... Scary!

"He hit me!" Chris began to whine. "He threatened to kill me! [Bitch, bitch, bitch, complain, complain.]"

If it weren't risky, I'm sure the whole class would have burst into applause for someone, and Victor of all people; the silent bystander.

Victor still isn't back in school yet. He should be by tomorrow.


I don't think there's much else to say. Hopefully I can get back on track with posting. but then again this is sort of turning into a boy crying wolf thing. I hope not.

Let's see if I post tomorrow.

Live ^^

Everyone Loses It

On the way home from school mum called my phone.

"Hey I'm going to pick up pies at the farm can you come with me so we can get the discount?"
"Sure but can I eat something first?"
"I need to get Aisling to violin practice at 3:00."
"Well I want something to eat before we go..."
"Fine then I just won't go"
*Call Ended

I wasn't even going to bother. She was obviously just raring to be a bitch today. But I figured she would just be ready to leave when I got home so I could quickly grab something before we headed out... nope.

She wasn't home. I sent her a message asking where she was and she responded that she was dropping Aisling off at violin. I told her I'd be waiting to leave when she got home but she never responded.

When she did enter the house, right away there was commotion.
"No because he had to eat!"

I rushed downstairs to defend myself.
"It could have taken me all of 20 seconds to eat something mom! I could have just grabbed something and ate it in the car! It's not like I had to sit down and have a huge fucking meal!"

"Well with you I don't know what you want!"
"Okay then let's go get the pies now."
"No. Forget it! We just won't get any pies for Thanksgiving and you can just try explaining that to your father!"
I was walking up to my room but kept talking. "Oh yes because it's my fault you don't want to get off your ass and get them!"
"Now I'll just do everything around picking the little one up at violin and hockey and the million other--"
"Just pisser off!"

I sat up in my room, hoping to end this nonsense, but of course mum was just looking for something else she can yell at.
"Who drank all the milk?"

I went back downstairs to fight her off once more, mumbling to myself as I walked down the stairs... "Shit, mum, it's not like the milk is meant for us to just look at. Why don't you buy more milk instead of bitching about how we keep drinking it every week?..."

"I had one freaking cup of it!" Kavanaugh was fighting off mum now.
"You didn't have to use all the milk in that drink, though!"
It all fit in one cup didn't it?
"Fine I'll go out and get more milk!"
"No! Forget it! I'll add it to my list of things as well! Don't bother!"

"Well why the fuck not?" Amy chimed in at mum, obviously noting her incredible idiocy in just trying to make things more complicated for herself.
"I know! I'm offering to help out but what doe sit do to not let us?" Kav input again.
Amy added, "I have a car too, mum! I'll get the pies and Kav can get the milk! Stop trying to make things even fucking worse on yourself and then get mad at us for making you do all this!"
She walked out of the kitchen with her bag, which made mum assume she was leaving?
"Where do you think you're going?"
Amy really laid it out. "I'm just putting my stuff away! Calm the fuck down, mum!" She stopped. "No, you REALLY need to calm down!"

Mum walked into the dining room and pointed at a pile of stuff in the corner of the room and looked at me.
"Is that your belt? How many times have I asked you to pick it up? Huh? How many times?"
I stared at her in disbelief and then said, "It was one fucking time, mum!" As I picked up the belt.
"No! Every time I pass that table I tell you to pick it up and you never do!"
"Bullshit!" I snapped back. I held the two end of the belt, barely refraining from whipping her with a good snap of the leather.
"And take that hat with you, too! You people leave all your shit just laying around here! And you just ignore me whenever I tell you to pick it up!"
I twisted the belt tightly in my hands. Mum had fire in her eyes, and I swear if she had laid a finger on me she was going to get a nice blister across her face from my little leather buddy. But I just left.

"Fine, I'm going upstairs. But don't ask for any help with anything since you obviously don't want it."

As I was writing this post, I overheard Abby come home with a friendly "Hellooooo!" to mum.
"Don't start I'm in no fucking mood." She just sat on the couch with her arms crossed. So this is what happens when she knows she's lost a battle.

But don't think the family's at each others' throats because of this. After an hour or so mum called me back down.
"Come on, we're getting the pies now."

Live.

Gotta take another break

Sorry. No time for blogging. I can possibly get a post in tomorrow but right now my schoolwork is in the red and I just can't find the time right now to do it.

Fuck!

GSA

Yeah. Thanks to Nick I finally made it around to tone of those damn meetings. And just like the last time I dropped in on a meeting, it was an extra special day. Apparently there was going to be a bunch of teachers meeting who are going to be a part of the Gay Straight Alliance.

I was surprised to find that My English teacher was even here. And even more surprised to find my History teacher as well. I never talked about her before but she is one of the nicest teachers I have ever had. She's probably one of the only educators who gives a shit about her students. If it wasn't for her, I'd be getting a C- in her class instead of the A.

Greg, my English teacher whose name I finally knew thanks tot he meeting, had been a strong supporter of the GSA for the entire 12 years it had been around. Pretty long time for a club with such a small amounts of students.

One year the club got no participants at all so the instructor stopped announcing it in the mornings. Unfortunately that year a student had committed suicide. It was later found out that he killed himself because his life was tormented by anti-gay bullies. The instructor felt so guilty that she had stopped because maybe if the boy had heard that there was someplace where he could go then maybe his life wouldn't have been cut short. And from that day on the club has been promoted every two weeks.

After the meeting we all sat down in the lobby to wait for our rides home. I snuck up behind Nick and gave him a hug around the shoulders. He freaked out because he was falling off balance.

"Whoa! Don't tip me over. If you do I'll kill you."

"Oh yeah?" I grabbed him. "I dare you! I double dare you motherfucker!" It would have sounded cooler if I wasn't laughing so hard. I tipped him back so my arms were the only thing keeping him up. He squealed, shouting for me to put him back and not let go. And when I did I just hugged him to prevent any revenge plots :3

It was then that Nick saw his dad's truck parked out front so we quickly kissed goodbye and left.

*reaches into pocket and pulls out small red capsule* FUCK! I never took my meds! Tomorrows gonna suck...

Live.

Guess I Got that Kiss After All

Yays! A Day to Remember has finally released their new album "What Separates Me from You". And since Rhapsody just doesn't feel as good as personally bought songs I plan to march over to Newbury Comics and demand a copy, and not take no for an answer! RAWR!

It's Complicated - A Day to Remember

Nick isn't letting up on trying to get back together with me. And now I actually considered doing it, too. But then again, why should I after he left me for someone else, who even I knew would turn on him. I guess my friendship isn't enough for him, though.

But here's the bug... He only seems to be able to talk to me seriously over Facebook and text messages. So I told him if he could grow the balls to try and convince me to take him back in person, then I might consider it. So I pretty much screwed him on that one...


Or did I?

"Christian can you come with me? I need to talk to you." Nick was standing behind me at lunch today.

Oh shit... He's really doing this?

He pulled me into the back hallway and waited for a few people to walk by before beginning... "Look, I can't say more than I'm sorry. Going back to Eli was the biggest mistake I've made--"
"Damn right it was."

"You know, first it was Griffin, then Eli who is just... Never again. And then you. You were the one that made me the happiest. You cared the most. And I still love you.

Aw fuck...

"But you could be saying this to anyone. I mean... you left me since Eli wanted you back. And then that fucked over so you come back to me and expect me to not know that? How do I know you won't just slip out on me for the next best thing again?"

"You have to just trust me on this. I promise things will be different."

*sigh*... You're on thin ice, though.

"Fine... I guess I can take you back."

Hey, I thought about this harder than you'd think. This talk wasn't really all I took in to consider this. I said before, I'm one who believes in second chances and learning from the times we fucked up. And I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't at least give Nick another chance. And that's the one thing I refuse to be.

I may not be making the best decision here. This may be a mistake. But hey, I'll learn from it. Because, if things really aren't going to work between us, then at least I'll know... And why would you not want to know? (By the way the quote was from the season finale of Weeds this past Monday).

We left each other with a hug. "Thank you," Nick said. I gave him a kiss on the cheek, but he turned his head and put his lips to mine and shared a true kiss with me. This is different than my kiss with Ian... Better.



After school I met up with Bagels Ian and Rita to hang out at Rex' house. Though when we got there it seemed Rex wasn't home. So we just sat and talked on his couch until he came.

When he arrived we went down to his basement where he dropped off materials for some project he was working on. We went back upstairs to his room, which by the way had absolutely no room whatsoever, along with the rest of the house. Honestly, the place was a pig-sty.

"What are you looking for?" said our friend Eli (for those who don't remember, he was the DJ at Overworld with the pink mohawk.) He apparently just let himself in like me, Ian and Rita.

"My needle," Rex replied. He was going to sew a hole in Ian's shirt.
"Where did you leave it?"
"...In my bed."

We all burst into laughter. Of all the places to leave a thin needle xD...

We sat and talked while Rex sewed away on a now shirtless Ian's shirt. And even when the job was done he didn't let Ian put ti back on, not that he cared anyway.

We set up a movie about some ridiculous superhero crew which was just so lame it was funny. Though about 20 minutes into it we got hungry and decided to make sandwiches. But these were no ordinary sandwiches.

We combined peanut butter, strawberry jam, eggs, and tomato ketchup all into one sandwich snack. Now, I know it sounds gross but since everyone seemed to love it I thought it couldn't be so bad...

Or maybe even delicious. It was one of the best things I had ever eaten! The jam and the ketchup went so well together! And the eggs just added extra taste to it. The discovery of this insanity was actually just some hilarious joke.

Some time not long ago Ian and Rex were looking for a little something extra to put in plain peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Rex, however had a list of food that were off limits to use. It was such a long list that Ian joked and said,

"Well what CAN we use?" He then walked over to the find to find the most ridiculous things to use. And he pulled out, of course, eggs and ketchup. Long story short they discovered a great yet not profitable sandwich that day.

After eating I had to leave since mum wanted me back at the house this late. So we all hugged goodbye and agreed that I should be part of their little dysfunctional family and meet with them again after school sometime.

"If Rita remembers what with her Alzheimer's."
"Hey!"

Live.

I'm Burning!

Hey I got my report card today! I know I already had a pretty god idea of what my grades were but the only clear ones were Algebra and English. So here it is ^_^

(Click picture to enlarge)

The notice for my 504 plan came in the mail yesterday. After I give it to the guidance counselor I'll start getting all of my school assignments on paper. How sweet is that? Not really worth losing my hearing, though. :\

I was gonna give it to the guidance counselor but when I went into the office nobody was there except some lady who I would have left the notice with but she was on a long boring phone call. I was gonna be late for math and I kind of felt awkward standing in her doorway like some pet wondering why their bowl is empty.

Looks like my cuts opened up again in HVAC since they stung like hell throughout the day. I had to wash them constantly to keep the dirt and grease out of them.

I had finished the class project early so me and Victor were assigned to remove the solder from already made projects from other students so he could re-use some pieces. While melting the solder with the blowtorch I accidentally lit the rag in my other hand on fire. I threw it to the ground and stepped on it and continued torching until I was done. I dropped the pipe on the floor and picked up the rag.

"AAAH!" I threw the towel to the ground and stomped on it once more, this time twisting my foot to make sure it was out this time. I looked at my hand and saw a splotch of red skin where I burned my hand. I laughed it off since it didn't hurt enough for me to see it as serious. I bent over and picked up the pipe to bring it over to the table...

"Gah! Dammit, You piece of sh--!" I put my hand in my mouth to muffle my cussing. Stupid me forgot that the pipe was still burning hot. I rinsed it under cold water and came back into the room. I paused for a second before bursting out in laughter at the situation. Since he knew it was okay, Sam confessed that he giggled at my reaction to the burn.


"You played Truth or Dare with Luke?" Abby said as she walked into my room later today.

Oh shit! Scott must have told her about the weekend where I kissed Luke in truth or dare!

"Luke told me you dared him to take his pants off?"

*Phew* I thought I was done. Last weekend we played Truth or Dare again along with a couple other people whose names I didn't bother to ask. But wait...

"I didn't dare him to do that, it was someone else." One of the stranger kids dared him to do that. I just simply cracked a joke encouraging him to do so.

"He was afraid you had a crush on him or something." She said. I laughed at that to avoid suspicion that I actually do like him. And afraid? Doesn't sound like Luke. If anything he knows I have a crush on him. And if I did he wouldn't be "afraid". I assume it was just to cover his mysterious sexuality to her. After all, people are quick to point gay fingers at anyone who is cool with homosexuality. *sigh*

"I told him 'No way'. 'Cause I mean, he's like, 12... 13?" So what? Age isn't a boundary to me... For some reason I wish she said yes, just so he could know. He ought to anyway. Because...

(Anyone wanna guess the reference?)

Live.

Burns, Blisters, and Scrapes

Ugh... My daily migraine. Why can't it start until I at least get home so I can take some medicine?


Nick tried to get me back. He asked me if I would go back out with him but I first asked him why he dumped me in the first place. His response was that he had gotten another chance with his ex-boyfriend Eli. And since that didn't work out he came back to me.

Is he really that stupid? He thought that was just okay? Why in the world would he think that he could just come right back to me because things didn't work out with another boy FOR THE SECOND TIME?

I told him I'm nobodies second place and that the idea that he would even have the nerve to tell me that is just horrible.

All I see in him is just a stupid kid who wants a trophy boyfriend. He doesn't care about the boy, he just cares what other people think of him. And he's a dreamer. He wants to live on the moon, which I told him is impossible since he'd freeze to death.

He talked of having his own private helicopter which he could have a pilot to take him wherever he wanted. All on the salary of being an electrician.

I didn't want to be cold with him though so I at least offered him friendship. He still hasn't replied.


Guess who I saw at work on Sunday? I was pushing carts and I saw Hanry step out of a piece-of-shit sedan with who I assume was his father. I would have said hello but I was on the other side of the lot. But when I was dropping a load of carts into the corral his car stopped in front of me waiting for me to pass by. So I waved and he waved back.

Though he also giggled and gave me an awfully strange smile. I hope it meant something ;3


Sunday night I got a phone call. Apparently Eli, Nick's two-time ex, wanted to ask me out. He was too nervous to ask me himself so he had his friend tell me that he thought I was awfully cute and blah blah blah.

"Look I hardly know you..."
"You don't think I'm cute?" Eli was back on the phone.
"Well I'm not gonna say that." I couldn't be mean to him, and he really is pretty cute. "You're just not my type."

So then we just had a casual conversation about some boys we thought were cute and other sorts of gossip. So at least I made a new friend.


Boys, boys, boys...


Today was the start of another shop week. Now we were in HVAC (Heating, Ventilation, and Air Conditioning). So it was kind of chilly in there but thankfully I had a sweatshirt.

I learned that I'm pretty damn good with a blowtorch today. Though I'm not so good at leaving hot objects alone. When I was finished welding and soldering some copper pipes I accidentally tapped the hot pipe it my forehand, leaving a nice little burn on my ring finger... Still stings X(

And I sliced the rest of my hands up pretty nicely, too. At the end of the day my hands all-around stung with open wounds. And I have to endure the burns and blisters again tomorrow. Fuck my life...

Now I'm off to Gamestop to pick up the new Call of Duty. Though I'm not allowed to play it since my grades for first term didn't meet daddy's standards. I got C's in English and Math, a B+ in History, and A+ in Latin, and still no records from Chemistry.

Compared to midterms I went up an entire letter grade in each of my classes. If that's not good enough for Dad then he needs to just piss off and be glad that I improved greatly.

Live.

Whoops!

I was supposed to post wasn't I? Yeah sorry, got held up on Skype with awesome people :3

The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain.

ADD is awesome ^_^. Anyway, MARLEEEEEENE!!! NO! Whoops, this isn't about The Big C is it? (But that was my reaction to last night for those who know what I'm talking about.)

I think I get distracted too much. We get a math packet to work on, and we have to get it in by the end of the day to the teacher. So 3rd period I go to History where we have a sub so I decide to get it done there. Nope. I spent the whole class writing notes back and forth to Rita.

4th period. Study. No way I can get distracted. Guess again. I spent the class talking to Rita and listening to Three Days Grace on her i-pod and then using mine to listen to some Placebo.

Lunch! I can get it done here! No... No I can't. I was called over to my old acquaintances Andrew, Ricky, Doug, Frankie, Billy, Jayquon, and Alex. Andrew told me some stupid trap Alex fell into to make him say he was gay (yeah, another gay joke.) So then I tell them about my gaydar and use it on every one of them, of course making up half the shit I said.

Ricky: Straight but cool

Frankie: Straight but will have a drunken fling with some guy in college... And accept a blowjob form Doug sometime during sophomore year.

Doug: Closet case who's gonna come out to Frankie first and maybe only and then give him some sweet, sweet head.

Billy: Absolutely queer (and not making this up) but doesn't realize it yet.

Jayquon: ....No. No no no....

Alex: ... Faggot*

Andrew: Didn't answer that one. Too hard to tell

3 Girls at the next table: ... Total Lezbots! >:D

*Excuse my use of the word faggot. I use it sometimes toward gay people I hate.... Wow that doesn't really help my case, does it? And Alex isn't gay... He's too much of a douche.

5th period was Science so no hope in doing work there, same with 6th in Latin.

Last period! Gotta finish it. I can afford to sit out in gym for once... Then again Badminton is just so much fun.

"Don't worry, Christian just turn it in when we get back in school." Rita told me as we left. It wasn't so much as getting it in on time as the fact that I didn't do any of it at all. Like, shit! Am I really that bad of a procrastinator that I just say "Fuck it" in the end?

I hate this. But you know what? None of it matters as long as I know what I'm doing in the class...

Shit I don't even know how to do any of this crap...

Check one for "I'm totally fucked"

Live.

PS: I have a super long weekend now. No school until Monday, so there might not be a post unless something comes up.

Boo!

Hey everyone. Sorry for leaving without any notice. Guess I should've said something. Anyway...
I took a break form blogging since I had been feeling like absolute shit for the past week. But I enjoy the company of blog buddies and didn't want to be out for too long. So where was I? Let's see what's happened in the past week or so...

I got a message from Henry on Facebook. It was awfully interesting...


Guess what he was talking about? Yeah, I'm so good I can even get straight boys :P
The thing I noticed was how he was all "why not?" so it seemed like he didn't give a shit. But when I joked about it he kept serious because he really wanted an answer. So I guess he cares more than he wants to show. Thing is I haven't seen him since Saturday so I'll just have to wait for my chance next time we see.

What else has been going on? Oh right. Misha and Griffin broke up today. Griffin told her that he didn't think he was good enough for her and said that she deserved better than him. But honestly, Misha's out of EVERYONE'S league. I mean, she's talented, nice as hell, good looking, and she can kick serious ass with 4 different fighting styles. And I can say this when I don't even like girls!

And Misha really loved him. She said Griffin was having one of his mood-swing days where his emotions are on the rise. I call it... puberty. Either way, now she's upset and everything's a mess with them. But at least (according to their attitudes on Facebook) they're not all around miserable. Just fairly upset as any break-up would do.

Ugh... Straight people.

I'm getting more into more constructive ways to spend my time. I've been working on a peace-sign lamp I started in the Carpentry shop and wired in Electrical. I spent a whole night just rubbing it down with sand paper. Now I have it all set up to paint which I plan on doing on my extra long weekend.

I've also been drawing paper stick figures to interact with my bedroom. Some them include one Tarzan swinging on my light chain-switch , pole dancing on my radio antennae, and hanging on my TV shouting "Help! I'm slipping!"
(There's also two screwing behind my bookshelf. Don't tell mum!)

I left some in my classes today actually. I left one on my chair in English for the next class with his arms crossed and saying: "Go ahead. Sit on me. I DARE YOU!" I left one sitting at the edge of my desk in Latin, just enjoying the view of cute boys ;). And I left one in study laying on top of a computer with his chin on his hands. Below it was a word bubble saying, "What'cha readin'?" Read in a cute bored tone.

My arts and crafts may be slowed down since I recently bought Left 4 Dead 2 for my PC so much of my free time will be going towards that.

I think you're all up to date. Tomorrow is my last day of school before a 5 day weekend. Yes! No academics! Even better is after shop week I'll be in school for only another two days of academics before Thanksgiving break. So I'm only getting 4 academics days this whole month ^_^

Surely I will post again tomorrow. Good to be back :)

Live.

Stress

This school was just built for stress. I mean, not only do colleges expect more out of students from this particular school but it's just so much more fucking work, too! Honestly, you should see how many kids smoke in this school. The second parking lot may have been to fit more cars but there must be a reason why smoking is allowed in that lot too even though the school owns it.

I thought my headaches were just a side effect from the Concerta but I went a week without the meds and still came home from school with my head throbbing. My grades suck so I'm gonna have to hear about it from dad even though I already know everything he's gonna say and how I should have taken more steps to improve my grades but I just can't bring myself to do it when the day has just worn me out to the point where I stagger to Amy's car when the day is over.

I yell at my own shit for being too heavy and just throw it across the room. Sometimes I can't even get it off me I'm just so drained. I lay face down on my bed for endless minutes before I finally get up to eat something, in hopes for more energy. Nope. Not good enough.

Today I tell my shop teacher (today was carpentry) that I need to pick up my classwork for tomorrow from English and Math since I'm getting my ears checked out at the hospital that day. At 2:10 he tells me to go at 2:20. In ten minutes I forgot about it completely. Now I don't know what I'll need to make up and I just know I probably won't end up doing it anyway since I'm just so fucking trashed every god damned day!

I need to do something to relax myself. My head just wants to explode.

Live.

Um... Shit... No?

It wasn't something I'm proud of. And I don't know if I regret it. Did I like it? Everything but my brain tells me yes. I'll start form the beginning.


First off I want to say to my readers that I'm definitely over Nick now. I found out that just recently he got back together with another boy who he kept telling me while we were dating that he hated him. Obviously, he's just a slut. And a very bad one, too.

Now, this Saturday I decided to go to Eric's hangout anyway, even though Nick wasn't going to be there after we broke up. Surprisingly, along with a few others, Amanda was there as well. So I had good fun with them. At one point we even had a cake fight and took the two cakes we brought to this hangout at the park and hit each other in the faces.

At around 9:00, we were greeted by an old friend of ours named Henry. We went to middle school with him and him and I actually became pretty good friends. So it was good company to have him. Of course I hit on him though, even though I knew he was straight.

Nowadays Henry is a druggie, smoking weed when he gets the chance. And when he can't get weed, he'll take over-the-counter drugs like Tylenol or Advil since he discovered that a little extra dose of Ibuprofen will get you high. He asked me a couple times if I wanted to try it but I figure I'll stay clean.

We eventually went to Henry's house because he was gonna claim he had a headache to score some Ibuprofen. Me, Amanda, and Eric ended up in a three person hug against Henry's house. At one point I felt a bit of a touch between my legs. Eric. Was he doing what I think he was doing? Yet for some reason I didn't stop him. No one noticed anyway.

After about 10 minutes Henry wasn't coming back out so we up and left for CVS. When we got there I picked up a water and Amanda got some gummies for us to share. After those gummies I didn't feel so well, so I went to sit behind the store to be alone and ready to vomit. Though soon after I left, Eric followed. He sat down next to me.

"You okay?" He asked.
"Nah, I feel like shit."
"Something wrong?"
"Those life-savers. Not settling well."

There was a long awkward pause. And Eric obviously wanted something by the look in his eyes.

"If you're gonna grab my dick then grab my dick," I told him.
"Okay."

Amanda and our friend Adam were wandering too close so I stood up.
"Come on," I said. And I led him back behind a brick wall by the town High School.

10 minutes later...

"Eric," I said as I began to walk back towards our friends who were probably wondering where we were. "This never happened, okay?"

"Gotcha. Hey, why can't we go out?"
"I just wouldn't work."
"Well, could we be like... Friends with benefits?"
"I don't know."

"Hey," Eric asked after about 20 paces. "Was I... Good?"
"I don't know," I told him, starting to feel emotion overwhelm me.
"Well... Did I do it right? Did you like it?"
"I don't know!" I shouted at him. I felt bad for snapping at him just then, but not enough to apologize.

One last time, I said, "Remember, this NEVER happened."
"Okay."
"Not anyone. Not Amanda, not even the friend who you ca keep and secret with. Because you can't trust anyone with secrets. And they will know anyway which is enough."
"Got it," he said one last time.

Live.

(No Monday post. Not much happened. If you haven't already Friday's post is up and you can read it now.)

Friday Night Infection!

The most brutal of all parties! With the most brutal music! And the most BRUTAL....

"Hello! Welcome to Overworld!"

Red-headed drag queen? FUCK YES! Honestly, it was the best way to start the night. I got the lowdown form Mr... um, Miss.... Um... Alexi, and was sent upstairs.

"Now remember, try not to die. If you are bitten you will most likely become a zombie."

... No fucking way :D

And who was I first to meet? None other than Rita, Jen, and Bagel Boy Ian. And who else was that? Was it the beautiful blond Rex I hear about form Rita every single day? Yes, yes it was. First, he is about 5' 7" (170 cm for normal people), and does indeed have beautiful AND long straight blond hair. He is skinny as hell, and has a face that just screams evil... Yet hot.

But I even met some good old friends who I missed so very much but hadn't realized. First, Ian, the ex boyfriend who is completely not awkward to talk to now. Next, I saw my old friend Louise, the first and only lesbian I ever met. Poor her and another friend Jasmina broke up. They were so cute together! Next (and this I was probably most happy to see) was my close friend Shaira.

"Christian!" She was sitting on a table scattered with paint and makeup.
"Oh. My. God! Shaira!"

I ran up to her and gave her a nice long hug. Oh, *wipes tear* I don't like to get all emotional... *sniff* Okay I'm fine. We talked for a straight minute pretty much saying the exact same thing. "Oh my gosh I missed you so much. It's been forever. I love you SOOOO much!"

Me and Shaira go back to 7th grade. And we practically were inseparable friends by 8th. It was actually through her that I met Rita. And it was just the saddest thing when we parted ways last summer to head to our new schools. But we seem to both be doing just great. She even has a boyfriend now, too. (But wait, I thought she was Rita's husband?... Inside joke everyone.)

"Do I know you from somewhere?" I knew right away she did but I had that little bit of doubt in me as well. "I'm Kelsi."
I smiled. "Christian."
"Oh... My god. Christian?!" She gave me a tight squeeze. "I missed you so much!"

Me and Kelsi go back even farther than me and Shaira. We've been friends since before third grade. And we've been ever so close until she moved to a different school. We hadn't seen each other since January.

"Holy shit you've changed so much!" She said to me.
"I know, I'm sexy as shit now!" I joked back.
"You are!" Hey now. No hetero ;)
"You've changed a whole lot, too!" I said before we hugged again.

The role playing at this party was top-notch. There was:

Alexi the Red Headed Drag Queen: Basically the title says it all.
Top Hat: A real stickler for order and rules. Not everyone's favorite but he really adds to the theme.
Elf: Not really an elf at all. he just reminded me of one. He's a total badass with a mohawk and camouflage and green cargo combat clothing.
Dr. Samuel: An old friend of mine. He was just born to act. He's awfully nerdy but it's a very positive thing about him, it gives him the sort of ability to be such a convincing character. He led the zombie hunt and took hunters down a hall to save a maiden at the end while shooting the head off mindless badass freaks.

Wait a sec... did you say... ZOMBIE hunt?
"Make me a zombie," I said clearly to Dr. Sam.
"You want to be a zombie? Come with me."

I was given a shirt and sent to Shaira for a makeover. She does a fanTASTIC job with a paintbrush. My flesh looked rotting and infected (and cute). I was told to put makeup on my other eye to make it more noticeable, so I took a brush and made the effect of tears of blood... and very messy too ;)

"Hhaatrch!" *limp limp limp* "Sreeeeeaaaaah!" *click click* "Rah!" *falls*

Basically how it all went down. After a while though I got creative and hid in a recycling bin. During our waiting time before the next group of humans came in, we were making all sorts of weird animal sounds. So when it was my turn:

"Squeak squeak." *shot* "Gaaah!!"

A barrage of bullets came my way. But I was a smart thinker. I rammed into the bin several times before it finally tipped over.

"Gah! Dammit!" I yelled as I hit the ground. I crawled out and around the bin and ran down the hall, avoiding few bullets. When I was safe, ex boyfriend Ian and I teamed up and we attacked the hunting group, killing them all.

The game kept progressing with each team to the point where it was an all out war leading onto the dance floor. After the game got out of control, it was announced we would be having a game of capture the flag for the revolution. I, because of my Anarchy gloves, had no choice but to join my fellow "terrorists".

And if we won, we were promised an every day life ruled by a red-headed drag queen.

"And if that's not a reason to fight I don't know what is!" Alexi yelled.

The big bad government won in the end but it was incredible fun. But that wasn't the end of the night... We were all dancing and having fun when all of a sudden, Top Hat lunged a sword at our Red Headed Drag Queen Alexi.

"I challenge you to a duel!" Top Hat proclaimed as he pointed his sword at Alexi. Everyone knew what was about to go down. A total badass sword fight between two very interesting characters. Oh yeah... here it comes....

"Whaaaaaaaa!"

Guess not. *facepalm* Alexi ran around in circles away from Top Hat as he chased her with his prop sword. It was kind of a downer since I really wanted to watch this, but it was so funny it was just as good. Finally Top Hat caught Alexi and struck him/her. He then stood proudly over his fallen opponent and raised his sword in the air.

"I'm taking over this ship!" *cue awesome pirate victory music*

It was honestly the coolest party I had ever been to.

Live.

PS: Sorry this post was so late. I just finished it and I still have to write Saturdays post because it's very important. I just have to make it Blogger friendly.

Back Together?

It's raining outside... But if that's the case then why is the sun still blinding?


Jen had a secret she was keeping form me this morning. But she whispered it in Rita's ear, so I knew I was gonna hear it from her.

And guess who was right? Rita sat me down in homeroom and told me:

"Jen says Nick wants you back."
"After all that I said?"
"Yeah well, he said he still likes you and you were right that he should have more 'lust'."

Yeah. He wants me back even after that little argument. Of course I shouldn't take him back... But for some reason I'm still thinking about it. Because even though we don't work for each other at all, I somehow still feel something for him.

After all I for one believe in second chances. And he did say he would change; I pretty much told him everything about him that bothered me...

But I still don't feel enough of the way there to take him back yet. I mean he does lack in some positive qualities. For instance, breaking up through a text message, and hardly thinking about us as a couple more than just himself.

But I keep going back and forth on the positives and negatives! Grah!

I probably don't have more than the weekend to think about this now. But right now I have to head off to work and then get ready for the sweet sweet party. No time to think about Nick now. I'll make a post retelling tonight after work tomorrow afternoon.

Live.

I'm Single Again and Never Happier

Yeah... That's basically all there is to it. Why am I happy about the breakup? Because there were just so many things that I just didn't like about him. The only thing he still had was cute looks and a swishy attitude. Funny thing is he broke up with me over a text message. But I wasn't gonna be serious about it. Here:


Yeah. But you know I can't be happier now that he's gone. I know I never got to kiss him or anything but hey at least I can do whatever I want now. I can sit with my usual table at lunch, I can dance at parties, I can look at and flirt with other boys who will actually flirt back, and I don't have anyone I feel as if I have to please.

Only downer is now I'm not going to that hangout on Saturday since the only reason I was gonna go was for Nick. But at least there's still the Zombie/Steampunk Rave-stravaganza tomorrow which I am certainly looking more forward to.

Just to let you know, Nick is so bitter now while I keep laughing at the top of the world. I never told any of you this since I didn't want to be advised to dump him but I had a huge amount of reasons to kick him to the curb. But I didn't because it wasn't so bad that I couldn't stand him. But I'm glad he's out of my life now. The shackles are gone, and I can finally get back to my lovely life the way it used to be.

And tomorrow I finally get to meet Rex, the friend of Rita who I hear about practically every day from her! Along with just about every other person who I need to from her.

Yay! Live.

Flamboyant? Well Fuck You!

Sorry for the no-go yesterday. I don't know what it was but I just couldn't feel up to writing one. But there is a little something that happened I probably should mention.

So I am definitely going to the party Rita had mentioned before. Apparently it's a pretty big get-together in which the guests are encouraged to dress up in Steampunk style, or as a zombie. Odd combination, but cool! It's like a "Fable" Party. I'm pushing Nick to go with me but he's not all that sure. So now I have to break out the puppy dog eyes until he says yes ^_^

And Nick said there's going to be another Halloween hangout on Saturday. Of course I tesed and told him, "Gee I dunno, I'm not sure." So now I'm gonna let him think he has to go to the Steampunk party if I'm gonna go with him to the party on Saturday. Of course I'd still go on Saturday if he didn't come on Friday anyway but he doesn't know that yet. ;)


I need a haircut. It's growing out too long now and it's starting to flip out to the sides at my shoulders. And without my hat it's way too round and it sort of voids the endless minutes of straightening I do...

Something's up with the teachers all of a sudden. There's subs every other class all of a sudden. For the past few days the Chemistry, History, and Study classes of mine have had subs. And I have to talk to my History teacher about making up some work. Now I'll have no time! Grrr. Oh well, at least it won't be my fault if they never show up by the end of the term.

Damn! I left my sharpie pen at home! And I need it to satisfy my sudden obsession with zombies! Yeah... I've been drawing a lot in my art notebook lately. It's a shame I'll have to tear some pages out since it needs to be graded for some actual schoolwork I did in it (only 3 out of the 30+ things I drew in it were school related.)

"Christian!" Amy said when I got home from school. "Mum needs to talk to you."

Note: If it's anything else besides "Mum wants you", it's probably a bad thing.

"I've been hearing a lot of reports of you acting flamboyant around school."

Now of course I was outraged since as I'm sure I've said many times before, I am nowhere NEAR flamboyant in any way...

"What?"
"With your little boyfriend!" Well at least you're finally comfortable enough to call him my boyfriend... "And I've been hearing it from those two!" She pointed towards Kav and Amy who could probably hear but were in other rooms. "And they don't even share the same lunch with you!"
"Well, that's total bullshit!" I shouted back.
"And I've been getting things from your aunt Kat, that you've been swearing too much on your Facebook, which that's gotta stop. And I'm getting messages form your little cousin Chris asking if you're a homosexual. You really want him going to his mother, and then have her talk to your father and opening up that can of worms?" You've said this all before...
"Well--"
"You better fix this."

I stormed out of the room. It's obvious my words wouldn't change anything. I am in NO WAY flamboyant. But I guess a hug here and there with Nick is just too much for some people to handle, huh? And even if I was a bit swishy, why would it matter? Is it embarrassing? It's only as embarrassing as you make it, mom.

And I've had enough bitching from her about what I do an fucking Facebook! If she doesn't like what I put on there then fine. I removed and blocked every family member of mine who could read my Facebook. The only person I kept was Abby since she's like a best friend to me rather than just a sister. (By the way Abby Happy Birthday again!)

So no more dealing with the folks anymore.

I had to go to the doctor to get my hearing checked. Yeah, it's pretty bad. I listen to my Walkman with the volume on max and people think I'm crazy. Not to mention I have to say "What?" to every other person who tells me something.

And who would've guessed that I got the worst possible outcome? Apparently I probably have nerve damage. The actual hearing test said I was perfect but the device the doctor used couldn't sense nerve damage. So I'm heading up to the hospital in a month or so to get an official test.

Well, me and the family are off to celebrate Abby's birthday. See ya!

Live.

Sorry

Just feel like absolute shit. No post. Be back tomorrow I hope.

They Just Don't Know it's Not a Choice

My clock reads 12:30 AM... I took a nap around 8 PM last night and apparently that turned into a 5 hour deep sleep. I would've just stayed in bed but besides the burning sensation in my stomach, I forgot to shower. But everyone's asleep so I'm gonna wait until 3 AM to do it.... MWUHAHAHAH! >:D


Nick's hugs just mean that much more to me after homecoming last Friday. I never want to let go anymore. But then again it's not the most comfortable thing to do in front of people anyway.

Did I mention I'm sick? Yeah, I'm STILL sick. But I refuse to stay home form school since I always miss something important, schoolwork is too hard to make up at this school, and I'd miss Nick way too much. Then again what's the point of going if you're gonna spend the whole day asleep?

I spent most of Algebra with my head in my arms, then was practically curled up in a ball during Gym. The teacher came up to me and asked if I was alright. I told her about my cold and she told me to go to the nurse. But I honestly didn't feel like going since I'd probably just end up getting a pack of crackers and a cough drop. So I just put on my headphones until I felt a lot of thumping around me signaling for the end of class.

I was more awake in History today. Only thing was there was a sub and my energy went into chatting with Rita and Joaquin. I was constantly turned around by the sub and told to do my work but I didn't even have a clue what to do so I just waited until he was gone. Didn't get anything done, but on the bright side I might be able to go to a party after work on Friday ^_^

At lunch I decided to play cute with Nick and tickle his thigh from under the table. He kept slapping me away, egging on that whole "not yet" scene he does which I can tell is total bullshit. He wants it badly but is too scared to "go too fast". Well to me he's going a bit slow... Sorry I'm just still trying to get that kiss.

Which even Jen agrees he should do by now, and she was the one who told him not to rush things. She said that she was gonna tell him to just do it but I told her it would kind of ruin any romance in it.

And fuck me sideways with a screwdriver! Apparently Amy isn't driving me and Kav home from school until tomorrow. So I missed the bus. I called mum but she said she was coming up to the high school to watch Amy's soccer game. When she said that I just took my phone and chucked it across the parking lot... Probably should have hung up first.

After scouring through grass looking for the pieces of my phone, which luckily could be put back together, I headed inside the building to use the computers. Suddenly I was stopped by this tall, built kid with bleached hair who was reading a magazine in the corner of the library.

"Hey, kid," he said. I immediately recognized his face from homecoming. I remembered his look of surprise when he saw me and Nick hanging on to each other and laughed on the inside.

"Hey... Are you gay?" Just gonna jump right into it, huh? Alright, let's go.
I made a little gesture that told him that I knew that he already knew the answer. "Yeah."
"And so is that other kid, uh... Your boyfriend, um what's his name?"
"Errr, not sure if I should tell you."
He waved me closer to him. "Sit down, talk to me."

Now, I normally love to hear what straight people have to say on the subject of gays and lesbians, but this kid had that obvious douchebag essence to him so I didn't really feel on-easy about him.

"It's Nick, right?"
Oh well, you already got it. "Yeah."
"So... I just don't get it? You mean you don't like girls at all?"
"Nope?"
"You don't like their asses?" Oh, real nice there, buddy...
"Nope."
"But you like guys' asses, right?"
"Well, depends on the ass."

"Well, hey, if you like taking dick up the butt that's your thing."
"And if you like sticking your in that gross, disgusting flap between a woman's legs that's your bit."

I glared at him and he just sat there looking at me like I just killed someone. After letting it sink in I got up and left for somewhere. I walked in circles for a while before I sat myself in the main hallway and started typing away on my phone. After about ten minutes or so blondie somehow appeared beside me.

"You know I could change you, and your boyfriend."
"No you can't."
"I could hook you up with a really hot girl."
"You don't get it, do you? I was born this way and it's not something you can change."
"It's not?" Seriously, is every straight guy like this?
"No. I was born liking guys that same way you were born liking girls."
"Oh... You don't say much. Is it because I'm not gay?"
"No it's because you're a dick."
"I'm a dick?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I'm not gay or nothing so..."

At this point I just sort of drowned him out since he was talking out his ass. But honestly, how come every straight guy who thinks gay people are some sort of freaks just really doesn't know that they can't change even if they wanted to? I need to remember that...

Well I have to get back to sleep now.

Live.

By Nick's Side the Whole Night

16 year old boy was browsing Netflix with his dad, trying to find a film for movie night. When he logged onto Netflix, though, there was a pop-up asking him to rate the highly vulgar porn movie from the night before. He just sits there, waiting for his dad to explode on him for watching the adult flick. But after a while, all the father does is say:

"Well? Are you gonna rate it?"


Friday morning, and I'm greeted by a metal rose and a flawless heard carved from wood. Nick made these for me while in the trades hall during Carpentry and Welding. I flipped over the heart where our names were written together. That earned him a big hug from me.

Here's the thing about me and my emotions. When someone makes me feel incredibly special, I bite my lower lip. It rarely ever happens, yet Nick is able to do it constantly.

After school, Nick met me coming out of automotive and I walked with him to his bus. Honestly, I have a new appreciation for my bus. Apparently Nick's bus has hardly any people on it, yet he has to ride for an hour before he gets home, and has to walk a pretty long way up and downhill to reach his house. But hey, Jen and Lindsay ride the same bus so I was greeted with hugs when I got on.

Suddenly, when I got off the bus with Nick, I felt a new appreciation for the world. I must have looked like an idiot to Nick, but to see that many trees at a time was amazing to me. Maybe it was just because it was Autumn and the leaves were changing but it was the most beautiful neighborhood I had ever seen. Wide, clean streets; perfectly paved, uncracked sidewalks; small, cozy houses; and a cool wind all around us. I decided right then and there that this was the kind of place I would want to spend my life.

"This place must be great on Halloween," I told Nick.
"Oh you wouldn't believe it," he said back.

And out of all the tiny, poor houses that sat in that small forest of a neighborhood, Nick's house was a fine, tall, perfectly neat house with a large, open lawn and a built-in garage.

"This one's yours?" I asked in amazement.
"My dad's a carpenter," he said.

I never really thought about those kind of benefits when it came to being a carpenter. When we walked into the house we were first greeted by a tall, black dog who instantly caught sight of the stranger entering her home...

Oh shit... I'm terrified of dogs. I never even thought that he might have a pet. He never mentioned it either. I didn't want to freak out in front of Nick or leave a bad impression on his family who was in the next room. So I played it cool. She approached me and began sniffing my crotch. I tried not to look down but couldn't help but glance a couple times. I wanted to seem like I wasn't even acknowledging its existence.

"She won't bother you," Nick's mother said as she walked into the kitchen and looked at me. "Though if you pat her head she won't leave you alone." Note to self: don't touch it.

"Mom, this is Christian," Nick said. His mom held out her hand.
"Hello, Christian." I reached out and shook her hand firmly.
"Nice to meet you, Mrs. ****." (Last name is censored of course.)

Nick told me a bit about his mom on the ride to his place. She is one of those incredibly strict, stick-up-the-ass, devout catholic ladies. I guess I did get the essence of bitter from her. But I tried to be as polite as I could to be at good terms. Nick warned me not to say anything about us being together and all, and that we were just friends. Kind of like my mom before she found out.

We talked a bit while Nick made a cup of hot chocolate in a fancy looking Kureg coffee maker. He asked me if I wanted any but I declined, grabbing a water bottle out of the fridge. I stopped at the large view from the kitchen window.

"You have a lake," I said.
"Well, technically it isn't our lake."
"Then make it yours," I joked. We both chuckled.

The view was absolutely perfect. There were a couple trees just there enough to be present and noted in your view, but not enough to overpower the sight of the large lake with a small island with a fallen tree in the center-left of it. I would have stayed for hours but we were going to meet the family.

We walked into the living room where we saw Nick's dad and older brother. Nick's dad is one of those totally laid back kind of guys. That thought was immediately confirmed by his lazy casual outfit and the fact that he greeted me with a "What's up?" rather than a hello.

Nick's brother is, from what I was told, a complete douche. The kind of kid who will try and find something to annoy you, and continuously use it until he gets bored. When I got a good look at him he was tall, had curly blondish-brown hair, and was dressed in a Red Sox jogging suit and baseball cap. He didn't even say one word to me. I guess my look was more intimidating than his; my usual all dark outfit and long straightened hair held back by my onyx black snow hat.

We made our way upstairs and made a left into the den. in the corner was a 44 inch widescreen television. Across from it was a right-angle sofa with a chaise at one end. We sat down and Nick flicked on his Xbox 360. We were going to play but his system seemed to be utter shit and wouldn't read the disc. So we spent a half hour trying to make it work. At one point I blew into the disc tray like an old Super Nintendo.

"You have fun blowing your video game," Nick said to me.
I stopped and looked up at him immediately. "Never mind."

We gave up and headed into his room. I looked around and the first thing I noticed was a gigantic PFLAG with the word "peace" hanging over his bed.

"Oh my," I said with a smile.
"Yep," Nick said proudly.

I felt like we were in some sort of sitcom where I was the boyfriend who casually sat on the bed while Nick was my lively, high-maintenance girlfriend who couldn't decide what to wear tonight. He dug through his dresser, asking me which shirt I thought would look better on him, to which I redundantly said "You look fine in anything." The thing was, all his jeans were the exact same thing, and he expected me to notice the difference.

Nick lifted his shirt to put on deodorant and didn't mind me admiring his cute, fragile body. I noticed he crossed his chest and abdomen with the stick and I questioned him.

"It's so when someone leans up against me I smell nice to them," he responded.

"Hm, interesting." I walked over to him and leaned up against him. I agreed that he did smell quite nice, but didn't back away for a few more seconds to let him know I didn't just get close to him to smell.

We were able to get a little while of game time before it was time to drive to the homecoming dance.

When we got there we were greeted by Anarchy Ian and his girlfriend Amber. We had small conversations which I won't go into detail of because they're kind of foggy and awfully inappropriate, too. but when was I afraid to be inappropriate?

When we entered the gym, Nick was looking around for some people who said they wanted to meet up with him while he was here. Most importantly, his friend Mina. Small world, the same Mina who got Misha all paranoid about Griffin's little thirty-something girlfriends.

The first person who greeted us, however, was Jen. "Hello dears!" She shouted in her odd, high class sort of tone even though she was far from high class. But I love the way she talks. I joked about her heeled boots and said:

"My my, you've grown about... *look down* 3 inches!" She laughed and went off to say her hellos to her other friends. There was an occasional burst of balloons in the room since some assholes can't resist annoying those with friends.

Nick doesn't like dancing. He didn't feel comfortable being in the middle of the crowd with a bunch of other people around him and bumping into him. I could really blame him. It looked like a gauntlet to be honest.

About halfway through the dance, me and Nick just went everywhere with each other, and didn't even let go. He wrapped both his arms around my shoulders and I held my right arm around his waist. He often rested his head on my shoulder and I leaned my head on his.

We were constantly told that we were "so adorable together!", and "so sweet with each other!". Couldn't blame them ^_^. Again, things like that made me bite my lower lip. Nick decided to call me his 'muffin'. I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but agree on the little name. I ought to make on for him.

Then there was the last song of the dance. It was the only slow song of the night. I groaned that it was Don't Stop Believin' by Journey but Nick made it worthwhile. We held each other in a close hug and slowly stepped back and forth. It was hands-down the best part of the night, over all the hilarious, fun, and cute moments of the night.

Suddenly the light flashed on, followed by an irritated commotion from the crowd. I looked at my phone and there was a message from mum that she was waiting for me in the parking lot. Nick walked out with me the same way as described before. We passed Frankie on our way out.

"Aww, that's cute," he mocked. We both responded with "polite" hand gestures.

When we were parting ways outside, I decided to go for it. I leaned in close for a kiss but he stopped me right as I was about to get him. "Nice try," he said with a cute smile.

And so I went home confused, yet completely satisfied and incredibly happy for one of the best nights I ever had. Later while on the couch at home I picked up my phone and found one unread message:

From: Nick - 10/22/10 10:23 PM
I would of kissed you but I didn't want all the people looking at us

Me - 10/22/10 10:39 PM
Oh ^_^ okay <3

I guess I could understand that. I just have to get him alone now ;)

...

From: Nick - 10/22/10 10:41 PM
I love you sooo much

Me - 10/22/10 10:42 PM
I love you too <3

Drowning in NyQuil

Dammit! I forgot to blacklist my younger cousin on Facebook when I changed my status. He sent me a message asking if I was really gay. Lucky for me he's gullible and I was able to lie and say it was just a joke. I worry I might have other family who I don't blacklist.


I'm getting sick. Yesterday I had a soar throat and now today it feels like a full-on cold. Cough, runs, the usual. What a perfect time with homecoming tomorrow.

But there's no way I'm missing it. Nick would be miserable to be there without me. Not to mention the great deal of other people who want me to be there.

So I have to cut this post short while I drown myself in NyQuil. It's late and I need sleep to be fine and awake for tomorrow. Trust me, it'll be worth more than two posts. Probably won't be able to write it until Saturday.

Live ;)

Why Am I Not Happy?

Happy purple day everyone! Even though it's not a celebration... But we can't mope about 9 poor teenage boys who tragically cut their lives short to escape their pain. It should be more of a motivation to protect those who need it, and to keep an eye and an ear out for those who might.


My scarf was deemed "fabulous" today, and I agree it was surely fabulous indeed ^_^

Nick didn't seem to have anything totally purple, so he tried his best by wearing a black tee and dark jeans which both had fun purple designs and words on them. Though he kept going by breaking out the purple Sharpie pen and coloring his shoes and writing things like "Gay People Rock!" and other pro-LGBT writings on people's arms.

Rita sported a pair of light purple jeans in showing her support, also getting drawn on by Nick.

Anita said that she had a lucky break last night. She was searching for something purple to wear but couldn't find anything. Then all of a sudden a large bag of hand-me-down clothes was sent to her house, which included a pair of purple pants, purple tee, and a small purple jacket, all of which she wore today.

Even Pedro showed his support. When looking at him from behind you could see a purple cloth, which he said was a shirt, hanging out of his back pocket.

And when I scanned the cafeteria in the morning, I noticed an increase in purple among various other students. It brought a smile to my face to know that there were other proud supporters who remembered.

Child care. Didn't seem so bad when I was heading to class. But when it was announced that we were going to read to a group of 3-5 year olds, I suddenly became nervous. I feared they might think I was a psychotic killer with my dark appearance and my hat which can be mistaken for a drug dealer's...

But as children, naive and open minded as they are, thought of me as just another older kid. Misha has a natural connection with children. She read with a cheery tone and a lot of emotion. I felt as if her voice made these children more optimistic and confident just by giving them the feeling that she cared about them, even if she had only seen them for 10 minutes.

I realized while I was reading that I can't force myself to act like Misha; so happy and nice. I tried to put as much emotion as I could into my words and I probably gave enough to keep the kids' attention, but I just wasn't able to fill these kids with the joy I wanted them to feel before they started to grow up some years from now. They were the nicest kids, respectful toward each other, not judgmental, totally carefree.

And one thing I noted made me think... While Chris was reading a story I noticed two boys chatting and giggling amongst each other. And then one of the boys leaned over and kissed the other boy on his head. Of course it wasn't anything personal, but that's just it. It's because these kids don't know the reasons why people kiss besides the fact that it's for people who care about each other. And I'm sure that when they do learn the difference between kissing boys and kissing girls, they won't be like they are now: natural.

It's because we raise kids to be like everyone else and fill their heads with nonsense about social rules and taboos and shit. If we just left kids alone, there would never be any arguments over what religion you are, or what your race is, or who you love. We'll just all be people. I'm sure that whatever God religious people worship would want us to just be humans. That's why kids make people happy. It's because they truly ARE happy, which I guess rubs off.

At the end of our story time the kids went around in a circle saying which book they liked best. Most of the kids loved Misha's story for obvious reasons, and a few liked Anita's story since it was a very silly book which had the kids giggling constantly. I guess I was fairly intimidating because when a boy said that he liked my story the best, he just pointed to me while hiding his face behind his friend next to him. That or the teachers were right when they said some of the kids might be shy. And there were a few other who picked mine as well so I guess I didn't do bad after all.

And for some reason I didn't want to leave those kids...

We spent the rest of the day playing some of the games the children did. We even went outside which is where I gained a bit of adrenaline. We played little modified versions of Octopus Tag. And Chris was constantly constantly CONSTANTLY singing Lady GaGa while we played. I kept telling him to turn it off but he kept on going. singing in his tone-deaf voice, having little spaz attacks on the ground supposedly called "dancing", and repeating lyrics and prancing around me and getting in my face. I tried putting him in his place but that only provoked him to get physical.

Chris chased me and grabbed me from behind and I guess tried to throw me to the ground, but obviously didn't know what he was doing. So I kept pushing buttons:

"Oh god! Get it off me! Oh why did I not buy that rape whistle when I had the chance!"
Soon he was practically flailing me back and forth like some rag doll.
"Don't let him eat me! Somebody help!"

He finally got me on the ground and I curled up in a fetal position acting like I was just traumatized. When I got up Pedro was walking after Chris to scare the living hell out of him to the point where Chris surrendered by curling up on the ground. Misha ran over to make sure I wasn't sexually abused or something. I love you too Misha ^_^

Towards the end of class most of my nerves broke and I took shots at Chris every chance I got. But he just wouldn't let up on my temper. While he was all up in my face after I made a smart remark toward him, the teacher finally stepped in and tried to settle our dispute.

She told us we were both being a disruption and need to just drop the situation. I only wish... And even if he hate each other we need to at least respect one another. When she was finished she had us shake hands... But I didn't.

"Chris is being the better man right now Christian," the teacher said. "He's at least trying to apologize."
"That's because he has to!" I retaliated. "But I only apologize when I'm sorry."

She pulled me aside and told me I needed to calm down and just take a deep breath. Pedro even came up and tried to clam me down, too, giving me a bro hug which I weakly returned. We never shook hands, and I'm glad the teacher realized that instead of trying to push me.

And from that moment on I just felt like absolute shit the whole ride home. I was barely responsive when mum asked me about my day but I admitted to her I just didn't feel good enough to talk.

Things seemed to cheer up when Nick gave me a phone call. And good news! He's able to go to Homecoming on Friday. Jen said she might be able to give us a ride as well. Even mum agreed to let me as long as she knows where Nick and Jen live.

The plan is going to be me going home with Nick after school and have Jen pick us up at his house when it's time to leave for the dance. So the clouds on my day are fading thankfully. And now I have something to look forward to this week!

Live.

The Thing About Mum

For some reason that Windowlicker song makes me nauseous whenever I listen to it... Is Aphex Twin haunting my Walkman? O_O


Just as I suspected, Nick's ear looks like shit. It was practically purple (perfect for tomorrow :P) since he obviously didn't clean it well. I'm bringing in the bottle of solution for him tomorrow for sure. Since it's an awfully pretty earring, and on the right, too.

He's awfully fond of me ever since I said yes to him. He even invited me to sleep over in Friday night, though the folks surely won't let me. But we may consider an after school visit. Though I can't totally confirm it with mum yet... After our talk.

"So what's going on, Christian?"
Just cut to the chase mum.
"Not much, mum..."
"What about this boyfriend? You know what I told you about not dating until you're 16."
"And you know that I told you I wasn't going to follow that rule. I listen to every single rule you make. But I get to decide the rules on this one, mum. I at least want some freedom."
"Well that just isn't happening in this house. You're just not mature enough."
"You know just how fucking mature I am. Maturity isn't measured by age, mum. Age is just a number."
"I just don't want you dating right now. It's just gonna be a distraction."
"Alright, I want one legitimate reason how it's a distraction." And mum just stayed quiet. "You see, you don't have any reason!"
"No!You're gonna be so preoccupied with this person and your friends that you won't be able to focus on your schoolwork."
"So, basically, I'm not allowed to have any sort of social life at all now?"
"No... There's gonna be a lot of people in your life, and I don't want you committing to one person right now."
"There really is no other way of going about those things mom. I won't ever commit to anyone if you won't let me."

The conversation over Nick drifted into the matters of me not being open to her...

"Look, mum, I know you want me to tell you what's going on in my life but--"
"I do!"
Tears were beginning to well up in my eyes. "That's just it! You're too clingy. You try so hard to know what I'm up to that I have to try and get away from you!"
I could see mum's eyes glistening as well now. "But you never tell me when you're having problems with other people which makes me worry!"
"But that's because there aren't any problems! In case you haven't noticed, I have absolutely zero enemies! everything has been just fine!"
"But how would you handle a problem if someone was giving you crap?"
"I'd tell the guidance office. If someone was trying to hurt me, I'd hit them so I could get away from them. I may have never been in a fight, but I can still throw a pretty freaking mean punch."

And then she has the gall to question my sexuality!...

"I just want you to be sure--"
"Stop! What do you mean by that?"
"Well, when you were 13 you told me you were sure you liked boys. But every time before that you were certain you liked girls."
I was ready to burst into tears now. "That's because I was fucking brainwashed into thinking that by those total dickholes I called my friends!" I waved my hand toward the window to represent the direction of the neighborhood boys I hung out with for the first 12 years of my life.
"Does Damien even know?"
"Probably. But if he does he probably doesn't care enough to talk to me since I basically cut myself off from my so-called "friends"... They didn't call or anything. Because they really never gave a shit about me."
"Even Max and Yuki?"
"Please. They worshiped Damien. Especially Max. And after that I actually had no friends at all. When I ate lunch, I was just looking for an open seat, let alone with people."
"And then you befriended 7th graders?"
"Yeah, Venus and Amanda. And that basically spread out to more friends."

Then she pointed out a certain topic...

"You know I worry about you. What with things like HIV and AIDS and--"
"Please... don't fucking say that..."
"I'm just saying you never know who you might be sleeping with and--"
"You can get it from anyone!"

"I just worry about you kids. All of you. If I don't know what you're doing I think the worst things possible and suspect something happened. The last thing I want is to bury one of you before I die."
"That's why we take the extra measures to make sure we are safe, mum. Locking the doors, having our cell phones, keeping an ear out when you're not home..."
"But when you don't answer your phones I get paranoid."
"You can't always expect us to pick up, mum. If we're busy doing something we're not gonna notice our phone's ringing. I call you all the time and you never pick up!"
"Yeah but I always check back." No you don't! I have to keep calling!
"Look. You raised us to be as safe and precautious as we can be. You have to be able to trust us at some point."

We continued to talk about her motherly instinct to always worry about her kids. And I had to tell her that there are somethings that she just can't do to control us. Like our personal lives and relations with other people. We can't be on a leash forever because when we finally do leave we won't come back so she can tie us up again.

It also drifted into how my dad is so stubborn that he won't be able to convince. And how he constantly asserts school as our number one priority. Which, we all know, is just so we won't need him to get into college because he can't afford even one year for any of us. And when we don't do well in school he yells and screams the same old shit about us doing shit wrong when we maybe just need a little help. Then when he yells at us for not coming to him, he doesn't realize that we don't come to him because we know how he is about schoolwork. And you know what? I'm not gonna be afraid to tell him that when he does start the fireworks.


So to wrap up today, my mom never allowed me to have a boyfriend, but she never said no either. So in that case the choice is up to me. *DING* And I hope I got the message to her that I demand freedom in my life, and the reason why I don't talk to her about my problems is because there aren't any.

I really hope she got something about me out of this. I know I got something out of her.

Live.

So I Said Yes

What do you focus on here? The song or the video?

Sorry if it disgusts you... It did me, too. You won't forget the face...


I just want to take the time to respond to a couple comments from my last post.


Billy said...
Whoa! Slow down a bit. A short conversation, then a text and you're (almost) boyfriends?
Take a moment to get to know him a bit better, spend some time with him, go out on a couple of dates first before you take the plunge. Then, if the chemistry is right, by playing just a little hard to get, you end up being more desirable and not just another one week wonder.
Use your head not your ... don't let your hormones rule!

Chris said...
I'd say go on a date or two with him without necessarily committing to being "boyfriends". I don't see any dealbreakers in your list of "cons".
Sure, be cautious, but why not see where it leads? The opportunities you regret later in life are usually the ones you don't take advantage of.

It's not like we never spoke to each other until just last night. We've been friends ever since he got with Griffin weeks ago. And to be honest, no one really ever goes on dates before considering each other for a relationship anymore. The system we usually go by is ask someone out, and then if they agree to be your boyfriend, then you can plan together time. It's pretty much been the case with every couple I've ever seen.

So I did say yes to Nick. When I first walked into school I was sucked into his little circle of people where we conversed until the bell rang. Then as we were heading up to our classrooms I casually said, "Oh yeah Nick, my answer is yes" for added humor. He had the biggest smile until we parted to homeroom.

So I wasn't actually in welding for exploratory today. It was actually Culinary. The class was split between those going to work in the bakery and those going to work in the restaurant. Pedro and Misha were in the bakery with a few others while I was with Hunter, and Pedro's girlfriend Melodie. There were supposed to be a couple others with us but they weren't here today.

I am impressed at how before I could take two steps into the class, the instructors could piss me off. They told me I wasn't allowed to wear my new women's snow hat I bought yesterday or have my backpack on me. So I had to find my locker for the first time and run all the way back to an already started class. Hmph...

So instead of actually doing meaningful culinary work, we were just used the whole day. First we slaved over two boxes of collard greens, removing their stems. Then we carried supplies delivered this morning, and picked up the trash. And oh boy did everything have to be perfectly squeaky clean! And guess who had to do it?

I figured there would actually be something involving making food rather than just being little helpers for the day. And while that happened Misha and the others got to bake cookies to take home.

During lunch I left my table to go sit with Nick and his table. He made room for me to squeeze in next to him. I never knew he was friends with look-alike-of-me Ian. He recognized me from the trench coat day. :P And I found out that Nick was having his brother pierce his ear after school. I imagined a sewing needle in a dusty bedroom for some reason. I just hope he knows how to take care of it because if it gets infected like mine did he'd have to take it out. Lucky for me mine got infectd long after I pierced it so I just had to clean it out with alcohol.

You wanna know the real bitch about this? Tomorrow Misha's group gets to help cook for a barbecue and eat, too. With my luck our group will be doing grunt work in the bakery, too.

Misha was awfully interested in me being with Nick. She said she was worried about me, and didn't want me to get hurt. If anything I feared I would be the one to fuck things up in a relationship. I think it really just had to do with Griffin seeing as they got together right after Nick and Griffin broke up. Maybe Griffin's story was a bit exaggerated. But I refuse to get paranoid.

Rita was all on board, though. She told me he can talk a lot. So I joked back "I'll shut him up" with a wink. Rita laughed saying I better. :P

Live.