Happy purple day everyone! Even though it's not a celebration... But we can't mope about 9 poor teenage boys who tragically cut their lives short to escape their pain. It should be more of a motivation to protect those who need it, and to keep an eye and an ear out for those who might.
My scarf was deemed "fabulous" today, and I agree it was surely fabulous indeed ^_^
Nick didn't seem to have anything totally purple, so he tried his best by wearing a black tee and dark jeans which both had fun purple designs and words on them. Though he kept going by breaking out the purple Sharpie pen and coloring his shoes and writing things like "Gay People Rock!" and other pro-LGBT writings on people's arms.
Rita sported a pair of light purple jeans in showing her support, also getting drawn on by Nick.
Anita said that she had a lucky break last night. She was searching for something purple to wear but couldn't find anything. Then all of a sudden a large bag of hand-me-down clothes was sent to her house, which included a pair of purple pants, purple tee, and a small purple jacket, all of which she wore today.
Even Pedro showed his support. When looking at him from behind you could see a purple cloth, which he said was a shirt, hanging out of his back pocket.
And when I scanned the cafeteria in the morning, I noticed an increase in purple among various other students. It brought a smile to my face to know that there were other proud supporters who remembered.
Child care. Didn't seem so bad when I was heading to class. But when it was announced that we were going to read to a group of 3-5 year olds, I suddenly became nervous. I feared they might think I was a psychotic killer with my dark appearance and my hat which can be mistaken for a drug dealer's...
But as children, naive and open minded as they are, thought of me as just another older kid. Misha has a natural connection with children. She read with a cheery tone and a lot of emotion. I felt as if her voice made these children more optimistic and confident just by giving them the feeling that she cared about them, even if she had only seen them for 10 minutes.
I realized while I was reading that I can't force myself to act like Misha; so happy and nice. I tried to put as much emotion as I could into my words and I probably gave enough to keep the kids' attention, but I just wasn't able to fill these kids with the joy I wanted them to feel before they started to grow up some years from now. They were the nicest kids, respectful toward each other, not judgmental, totally carefree.
And one thing I noted made me think... While Chris was reading a story I noticed two boys chatting and giggling amongst each other. And then one of the boys leaned over and kissed the other boy on his head. Of course it wasn't anything personal, but that's just it. It's because these kids don't know the reasons why people kiss besides the fact that it's for people who care about each other. And I'm sure that when they do learn the difference between kissing boys and kissing girls, they won't be like they are now: natural.
It's because we raise kids to be like everyone else and fill their heads with nonsense about social rules and taboos and shit. If we just left kids alone, there would never be any arguments over what religion you are, or what your race is, or who you love. We'll just all be people. I'm sure that whatever God religious people worship would want us to just be humans. That's why kids make people happy. It's because they truly ARE happy, which I guess rubs off.
At the end of our story time the kids went around in a circle saying which book they liked best. Most of the kids loved Misha's story for obvious reasons, and a few liked Anita's story since it was a very silly book which had the kids giggling constantly. I guess I was fairly intimidating because when a boy said that he liked my story the best, he just pointed to me while hiding his face behind his friend next to him. That or the teachers were right when they said some of the kids might be shy. And there were a few other who picked mine as well so I guess I didn't do bad after all.
And for some reason I didn't want to leave those kids...
We spent the rest of the day playing some of the games the children did. We even went outside which is where I gained a bit of adrenaline. We played little modified versions of Octopus Tag. And Chris was constantly constantly CONSTANTLY singing Lady GaGa while we played. I kept telling him to turn it off but he kept on going. singing in his tone-deaf voice, having little spaz attacks on the ground supposedly called "dancing", and repeating lyrics and prancing around me and getting in my face. I tried putting him in his place but that only provoked him to get physical.
Chris chased me and grabbed me from behind and I guess tried to throw me to the ground, but obviously didn't know what he was doing. So I kept pushing buttons:
"Oh god! Get it off me! Oh why did I not buy that rape whistle when I had the chance!"
Soon he was practically flailing me back and forth like some rag doll.
"Don't let him eat me! Somebody help!"
He finally got me on the ground and I curled up in a fetal position acting like I was just traumatized. When I got up Pedro was walking after Chris to scare the living hell out of him to the point where Chris surrendered by curling up on the ground. Misha ran over to make sure I wasn't sexually abused or something. I love you too Misha ^_^
Towards the end of class most of my nerves broke and I took shots at Chris every chance I got. But he just wouldn't let up on my temper. While he was all up in my face after I made a smart remark toward him, the teacher finally stepped in and tried to settle our dispute.
She told us we were both being a disruption and need to just drop the situation. I only wish... And even if he hate each other we need to at least respect one another. When she was finished she had us shake hands... But I didn't.
"Chris is being the better man right now Christian," the teacher said. "He's at least trying to apologize."
"That's because he has to!" I retaliated. "But I only apologize when I'm sorry."
She pulled me aside and told me I needed to calm down and just take a deep breath. Pedro even came up and tried to clam me down, too, giving me a bro hug which I weakly returned. We never shook hands, and I'm glad the teacher realized that instead of trying to push me.
And from that moment on I just felt like absolute shit the whole ride home. I was barely responsive when mum asked me about my day but I admitted to her I just didn't feel good enough to talk.
Things seemed to cheer up when Nick gave me a phone call. And good news! He's able to go to Homecoming on Friday. Jen said she might be able to give us a ride as well. Even mum agreed to let me as long as she knows where Nick and Jen live.
The plan is going to be me going home with Nick after school and have Jen pick us up at his house when it's time to leave for the dance. So the clouds on my day are fading thankfully. And now I have something to look forward to this week!
Live.
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