A Gaydar is like a heart monitor... It's a real bitch when it flat-lines.
So it's true that Nick and Griffin broke up. I think Nick found someone else since he's already with another guy. Honestly, his new boyfriend scares me. He just seems to harmless...
Liam asked me in Latin if the teacher was pregnant. I had to suppress laughter since when I got a glimpse I saw it was probably not the case. He left his hat in class so I picked it up and was gonna give it to him tomorrow. Griffin came up to me and asked me if I knew about an animator known as OneyNG. I actually think that guy is hilarious. As it turns out Griffin knows the guy and said that Eric was the basis for Leo in his series Leo and Satan.
So in art Sneha told me that a boy from our class asked if her name was a Taliban name (ironically it means love) and asked he what level terrorist she is. So I began a discussion to find that he is also a neo-nazi and supports the KKK. Now probably one or two of those things are complete bullshit but he should really find a better comedy act if it's the case.
I asked him to draw a Swastika for me and he didn't even do it right! He claimed that 99% of Muslims are terrorists (the 1% being terrorists in training). "Do you know how many Muslims were actually involved in 9/11?" I asked him. And according to him, he says he isn't a terrorist because he doesn't go "Aelaelaelaelai!", wear a towel on his head, or own an AK-47.
Another thing! He's one of those "America's the best!" people. I asked him why. He responded, "Well it's better than every other country." That was my cue. I broke out the "propaganda" and he read it over. He claimed that none of those things mattered. Let's not forget that the chart included Democracy, Life Expectancy, Education, and Quality Health care. He then said, "What about which country wins the most wars?"
.... "England?" Of course to that he said he hated England. Never would've guessed.
Rita needs to stop making friends. She brought a new kid to our lunch table named Matt. He's a short kid, quiet, and has real shaggy brown hair. Like me he's one of those black clothes kind of boys. Not to mention he makes the Gaydar blink *teehee*
"I dunno, he might be gay." Rita told me during study. We weren't in our usual study; we were put in the next study room over. So me, Sneha, and Rita grouped around Griffin, Hanry, Disney (a girl I call that name since it always gets her attention), and a few others.
"The math team?" Apparently mum is throwing me on the math team since I'm not doing anything this Winter. Yeah mum, this wouldn't happen to have anything to do with me not playing Hockey would it?
"How do you even know I'm good at math?"
"I just do."
"Oh yeah, makes perfect sense." (ooooh she caught me in a bitchy mood)
"Doesn't matter you're doing it."
Well then mum I guess I'll just have to fuck shit up until I'm off the math team now won't I? This ought to be fun. And the first meeting is tomorrow. *rubs hands deviously*
Live.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
I'm No Pirate!
You know, I would kind of like to be called for jury duty when I'm older. But is there a way to be a part of a jury without having to vote?
Rain! Mother nature wasn't too pleased today. Golf was canceled because of it so hmph to that. According to Misha, "You missed a lot while you were gone." Yes, because so much happens in 4 hours. But maybe I did miss something. I think Griffin broke up with Nick, though I'm not all that certain. I sort of expected this, but I didn't think they would be over so fast.
I have to watch a movie to make up for a missed English assignment. But there's no way I'm going to stay after school for over an hour, and I'm pretty sure the teacher wouldn't be too thrilled about it. So me in all my awesomeness came up with the idea to order it on Netflix so I can watch it at home. Yay me!
In Latin Liam brought up to Griffin, "Hey someone told me a secret about you." I know exactly where this is going... Griffin probably knew what it was anyway. Liam said he would tell him later but Griffin insisted he say it. So Liam continued. "He said you were bisexual." Ding ding ding! I was right. Then Griffin responded, "So?"
Liam was confused. "Aren't you gonna beat him up for it?" Yeah, because an problem can be solved by knocking someone's teeth in. "Why would I do that? I have no problem with gay people." I clapped in my head for Griffin. "Well, are you?" Liam asked.
"No." Hmm... This could only mean one thing.
"Didn't know you were a closet case," I said to Griffin as we left the classroom. "Only to the football team." He responded. "Not exactly the most intelligent people if you know what I mean."
Makes total sense. But it's not like Griffin couldn't take anyone if shit got real on him. He can fight something serious.
"Stay here." Never a good thing to hear from Mum when I get home. "I want your brother too." When we were both in the room mum began: "I got another call form Comcast. They're gonna shut down the internet by 4 o'clock on us tomorrow. Apparently there was another claim of pirating in our house.
I knew it wasn't me since the last incident with the whole pirated games thing. I never downloaded anything suspicious since then. "But since your passwords were still on the computers I couldn't see who it was."
Kav then spoke up and said it was him. Figures. But mum still wanted the passwords on our computers removed so we just logged on and removed them. Oh well. Guess I'll just have to make sure I don't let anyone in my room without me there. There's still no way I'd leave my computer open to anyone who would want to play with it because I know what kind of websites my sisters go on. Slows down the computer so much.
Alright my leg's asleep since I have to sit in my computer chair curled up in a ball. I think it's time I got up and cleaned the mess from Brian's stay.
Live.
Rain! Mother nature wasn't too pleased today. Golf was canceled because of it so hmph to that. According to Misha, "You missed a lot while you were gone." Yes, because so much happens in 4 hours. But maybe I did miss something. I think Griffin broke up with Nick, though I'm not all that certain. I sort of expected this, but I didn't think they would be over so fast.
I have to watch a movie to make up for a missed English assignment. But there's no way I'm going to stay after school for over an hour, and I'm pretty sure the teacher wouldn't be too thrilled about it. So me in all my awesomeness came up with the idea to order it on Netflix so I can watch it at home. Yay me!
In Latin Liam brought up to Griffin, "Hey someone told me a secret about you." I know exactly where this is going... Griffin probably knew what it was anyway. Liam said he would tell him later but Griffin insisted he say it. So Liam continued. "He said you were bisexual." Ding ding ding! I was right. Then Griffin responded, "So?"
Liam was confused. "Aren't you gonna beat him up for it?" Yeah, because an problem can be solved by knocking someone's teeth in. "Why would I do that? I have no problem with gay people." I clapped in my head for Griffin. "Well, are you?" Liam asked.
"No." Hmm... This could only mean one thing.
"Didn't know you were a closet case," I said to Griffin as we left the classroom. "Only to the football team." He responded. "Not exactly the most intelligent people if you know what I mean."
Makes total sense. But it's not like Griffin couldn't take anyone if shit got real on him. He can fight something serious.
"Stay here." Never a good thing to hear from Mum when I get home. "I want your brother too." When we were both in the room mum began: "I got another call form Comcast. They're gonna shut down the internet by 4 o'clock on us tomorrow. Apparently there was another claim of pirating in our house.
I knew it wasn't me since the last incident with the whole pirated games thing. I never downloaded anything suspicious since then. "But since your passwords were still on the computers I couldn't see who it was."
Kav then spoke up and said it was him. Figures. But mum still wanted the passwords on our computers removed so we just logged on and removed them. Oh well. Guess I'll just have to make sure I don't let anyone in my room without me there. There's still no way I'd leave my computer open to anyone who would want to play with it because I know what kind of websites my sisters go on. Slows down the computer so much.
Alright my leg's asleep since I have to sit in my computer chair curled up in a ball. I think it's time I got up and cleaned the mess from Brian's stay.
Live.
My 2 Cents on this Bitch
Christine O'Donnell has got to be one of the most insane people I have ever seen. A Sarah Palin wannabe but even more politically incorrect, hypocrite, liar, she's never heard of separation of religion and state, and basically plans on turning the entire US upside down. Earlier today during study period I found an interesting article citing her ideas.
You can read the full article here. For those who don't want to click it. Here is a brief summary, though I recommend the complete article.
Not to mention she believes bloggers are dangerous because people an express opinions and personal ideas (oh no, not that!)
She said that she refuses to do any more national media interviews because it won't help her get any votes. So she basically is saying that if she speaks her mind she'll only piss more people off. She's done so much damage that even her fellow Republican's refused to fund her campaign.
Please Delaware, don't be stupid.
You can read the full article here. For those who don't want to click it. Here is a brief summary, though I recommend the complete article.
- She believes in chastity and abstinence and is against freak dancing, condoms (the fuck?), co-ed dorm rooms, and masturbation. What. The. Fuck?
- Not only is she a feminist, but a very bad feminist.*** "Women should submit to their husband". Meaning women shouldn't have more power than their husband. And that men are better soldiers than women.
- Thinks homosexuality is perversion, deviant, and an identity disorder. That they are abusing the first amendment, that gay-bashing is just "kids being kids", and that it leads to AIDS.
- "She wouldn’t lie to Nazis looking for Jews in her home", and she lied about applying for a Masters degree when she hadn't even gotten a bachelor's.
- Dated a witch at a satanic altar "unknowingly"
- Says God had guided her campaign
- Thinks physics interferes with a human predisposition to believe in God, and believes in creationism.
- She believes in death-panels; thinks that money shouldn't be wasted on the health of people who don't seem to be worth it.
- Thinks media like Sex and the City, Friends, and Britney Spears are dangerous
- Pro-censorship
- Advocates military action against Iran, still believes WMD's are in the middle east, and thinks China plans on taking over America.
Not to mention she believes bloggers are dangerous because people an express opinions and personal ideas (oh no, not that!)
She said that she refuses to do any more national media interviews because it won't help her get any votes. So she basically is saying that if she speaks her mind she'll only piss more people off. She's done so much damage that even her fellow Republican's refused to fund her campaign.
Please Delaware, don't be stupid.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Weekend with Brian (3 Day Post)
Friday:
"Howdy do." Brian's first words as I walked through the front door coming home from work. Boy was I glad to see him after today. First I lost my hundred dollar paycheck and had to scour the store and the parking lot looking for it, there was also some sort of break in or car crash outside the place so traffic was backed up for miles.
"Oh my god, you grew out your hair!" I just had to say that when we were alone. I didn't want to sound too gay in front of anyone. We went out to get something to eat at Olympic. I kept glancing at him as he drank a root beer. He hadn't changed at all. He still had that same adorable face and small country boy voice. We picked up our food and walked home giggling and joking around like idiots the whole way.
We slaughtered zombies on Left 4 Dead 2 until we were tired and turned down the lights as we dropped on the floor. We played fun and I talked cute. At one point I couldn't help it and started petting his head and rubbing his neck like a kitten. I almost kissed him but he grabbed my nose and giggled before turning over and falling asleep.
*sigh* ^_^
Saturday:
My eyes opened to see Brian on my Xbox playing Grand Theft Auto 4. And apparently I woke up two more times after that to find him tearing a helpless body apart on the internet. Now I admit the second one was my fault for showing that game to him :P
Oh yeah! It's Town Day! Every year on this day we go out to the center of town to find tents and music and games and all those fun little things we all enjoy at these sort of events. And guess who we met up with? Amy and Venus! I hadn't seen them since before the summer! Amy went blond! Me and Brian were smothered with hugs and kisses from them (blech! Girls are icky XD)
We entered the parade and I snatched a balloon and sucked helium out of it. I made all those funny jokes which can only be made funnier by a high squeaky voice (aka anything). Brian bought a couple of cap guns to only have the gun and gave the caps to me which I was able to have fun with later :3.
I saw a ton of other people I hadn't seen in forever as well from my old school. Let's see... Tristan, George, Kris, Jacob ("Sunshine" as I still love to call him), other Brian, and Ian too! He was wearing a ponytail which I could've sworn he wasn't too fond of since it made him look like a girl. But honestly he didn't and it was actually pretty cute ;3
And after a long day me and the family went out to eat at a place called Bugaboo Creek. As everything as far as antler chandeliers, wooden fish and ducks, a pine tree with a face, and a giant talking buffalo head (you wouldn't believe how much fun stoners are with that thing) and all that goes, that is one of the best restaurants ever. They make the absolute greatest fried chicken anybody will ever eat. Ever. I could hardly finish it but Brian was able to lick his plate clean. Where the hell does he put it all? He still keeps a nice body when he eats like a monster. He'd even go as far as dessert where he got an oversized s'more cake. I could barely eat half of a blueberry cheesecake.
On the way home me and Brian conversed quietly among each other and laughed and giggled at a few inside jokes. We secretly held hands between he seats which no one noticed because it was too dark to see. Again we played video games and played Gears of War 2 (he's obsessed with sawing enemies in half. I've created a monster) until we fell asleep, holding hands again.
Sunday:
Our games and such continued as the day went along. Brian went on Netflix and showed me "The Amazing Jonathan" who if you don't know is a comedian/magician who basically mocks magic tricks by joking with irony and pretending to be a horrible (or too good) magician. We were on the floor laughing throughout the whole show.
Before bed we were looking on Netflix when I caught sight of Crank 2: High Voltage. Okay, I absolutely LOVED Crank and let out a little shriek when I saw it on the front page. So we put it on the TV and sat on the bed watching Chev Chelios fuck shit up more than ever. I'd say this movie had more balls than the last one on the violence. Shotgun sodomy, strippers being shot in their disgusting milks sacks, elbow sushi, crazy cuntanese whores, guy in drag with full body tourettes along with his "men's club", the list goes on.
"Fuck you, Chelios!"
Why do people always come into the room when people are having sex? My brother walked in right as Chev was screwing his girlfriend on a horse racing track. I tried pushing him out before he could see anything and thankfully I did. But it was close.
And after that the half-season premier of Metalocalypse finally came on after all this time. Wasn't as good as I expected but I still loved it. And before I knew it it was Monday.
"Hey," Brian said waking me up. "I'm gonna have to go in about a half hour." I got up and dressed myself before it was time for Brian to leave. When mum called for him to drive him to meet his dad I left him with a hug goodbye and he was gone. I realized I hadn't even given him a good hug since he arrived and was glad I did before he was gone.
I got to skip school so I just lounged around the rest of the day. It was kind of gray without Brian. Oh well, back to school tomorrow. Oh shit I forgot to say I got a haircut. I think I cut a bit too much so I look a bit weird now. But after much styling I was able to reach a happy hairstyle which will be so nice to show off tomorrow. And hooray I don't have that middle part in my hair anymore! It's actually pretty nice ^_^
Okay. Sleep is necessary. Go. Now!
Live.
"Howdy do." Brian's first words as I walked through the front door coming home from work. Boy was I glad to see him after today. First I lost my hundred dollar paycheck and had to scour the store and the parking lot looking for it, there was also some sort of break in or car crash outside the place so traffic was backed up for miles.
"Oh my god, you grew out your hair!" I just had to say that when we were alone. I didn't want to sound too gay in front of anyone. We went out to get something to eat at Olympic. I kept glancing at him as he drank a root beer. He hadn't changed at all. He still had that same adorable face and small country boy voice. We picked up our food and walked home giggling and joking around like idiots the whole way.
We slaughtered zombies on Left 4 Dead 2 until we were tired and turned down the lights as we dropped on the floor. We played fun and I talked cute. At one point I couldn't help it and started petting his head and rubbing his neck like a kitten. I almost kissed him but he grabbed my nose and giggled before turning over and falling asleep.
*sigh* ^_^
Saturday:
My eyes opened to see Brian on my Xbox playing Grand Theft Auto 4. And apparently I woke up two more times after that to find him tearing a helpless body apart on the internet. Now I admit the second one was my fault for showing that game to him :P
Oh yeah! It's Town Day! Every year on this day we go out to the center of town to find tents and music and games and all those fun little things we all enjoy at these sort of events. And guess who we met up with? Amy and Venus! I hadn't seen them since before the summer! Amy went blond! Me and Brian were smothered with hugs and kisses from them (blech! Girls are icky XD)
We entered the parade and I snatched a balloon and sucked helium out of it. I made all those funny jokes which can only be made funnier by a high squeaky voice (aka anything). Brian bought a couple of cap guns to only have the gun and gave the caps to me which I was able to have fun with later :3.
I saw a ton of other people I hadn't seen in forever as well from my old school. Let's see... Tristan, George, Kris, Jacob ("Sunshine" as I still love to call him), other Brian, and Ian too! He was wearing a ponytail which I could've sworn he wasn't too fond of since it made him look like a girl. But honestly he didn't and it was actually pretty cute ;3
And after a long day me and the family went out to eat at a place called Bugaboo Creek. As everything as far as antler chandeliers, wooden fish and ducks, a pine tree with a face, and a giant talking buffalo head (you wouldn't believe how much fun stoners are with that thing) and all that goes, that is one of the best restaurants ever. They make the absolute greatest fried chicken anybody will ever eat. Ever. I could hardly finish it but Brian was able to lick his plate clean. Where the hell does he put it all? He still keeps a nice body when he eats like a monster. He'd even go as far as dessert where he got an oversized s'more cake. I could barely eat half of a blueberry cheesecake.
On the way home me and Brian conversed quietly among each other and laughed and giggled at a few inside jokes. We secretly held hands between he seats which no one noticed because it was too dark to see. Again we played video games and played Gears of War 2 (he's obsessed with sawing enemies in half. I've created a monster) until we fell asleep, holding hands again.
Sunday:
Our games and such continued as the day went along. Brian went on Netflix and showed me "The Amazing Jonathan" who if you don't know is a comedian/magician who basically mocks magic tricks by joking with irony and pretending to be a horrible (or too good) magician. We were on the floor laughing throughout the whole show.
Before bed we were looking on Netflix when I caught sight of Crank 2: High Voltage. Okay, I absolutely LOVED Crank and let out a little shriek when I saw it on the front page. So we put it on the TV and sat on the bed watching Chev Chelios fuck shit up more than ever. I'd say this movie had more balls than the last one on the violence. Shotgun sodomy, strippers being shot in their disgusting milks sacks, elbow sushi, crazy cuntanese whores, guy in drag with full body tourettes along with his "men's club", the list goes on.
"Fuck you, Chelios!"
Why do people always come into the room when people are having sex? My brother walked in right as Chev was screwing his girlfriend on a horse racing track. I tried pushing him out before he could see anything and thankfully I did. But it was close.
And after that the half-season premier of Metalocalypse finally came on after all this time. Wasn't as good as I expected but I still loved it. And before I knew it it was Monday.
"Hey," Brian said waking me up. "I'm gonna have to go in about a half hour." I got up and dressed myself before it was time for Brian to leave. When mum called for him to drive him to meet his dad I left him with a hug goodbye and he was gone. I realized I hadn't even given him a good hug since he arrived and was glad I did before he was gone.
I got to skip school so I just lounged around the rest of the day. It was kind of gray without Brian. Oh well, back to school tomorrow. Oh shit I forgot to say I got a haircut. I think I cut a bit too much so I look a bit weird now. But after much styling I was able to reach a happy hairstyle which will be so nice to show off tomorrow. And hooray I don't have that middle part in my hair anymore! It's actually pretty nice ^_^
Okay. Sleep is necessary. Go. Now!
Live.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
It's Either a Voice in My Head or a Tumor
"Oh my god! Don't even joke about things like that!" Get over it...
Had a delayed opening at school today. Whatever the reason I got to skip English and Math (guess I'm safe for not doing my homework for another day). I went into the engineering room to work on my little Lego claw from yesterday so I could program it to carry 3 blocks into 2 bins with a single button. Conveniently the program was by Lego.
I was practically snapping my mouse in half since the teacher was taking FOREVER to explain what we needed to do next. Honestly, if you can't figure out how to use a computer even a little bit on your own, this school is not for you. Eventually I just tuned him out and did the project on my own so I could spend time listening to music at the end.
You know how I said I was going to go to the Gay Straight Alliance meeting today? Yeah, I didn't. I was halfway there when a tiny light in my head went off and just told me not to go. I tried to argue with this little voice but he won the battle and I headed for the bus. What were the voice's words?...
"This club is only for the people who give a shit."
"It isn't a good idea. Something's gonna go down..."
"You're tired. This place will be here next week. And you can't just walk in for no reason."
I don't know what was up with my head but whatever it was it sounded pretty harsh on me. Am I insane? Or did I already establish that. After all these thoughts were mine. It's not like some outer being brainwashed me. But it was just pretty fucking weird.
When I got home I lay on my bed and took a long nap, something I've never actually done on a normal day. But it's late so I have to put my little thoughts away and clean up around this place before Brian get here. *Looks over at corner of room* Dammit...
I probably won't have time for a post while Brian is here but if I get the chance to be alone if he's in the shower or something I'll try to update. Clean-up time! Now where do I start?
Live.
Had a delayed opening at school today. Whatever the reason I got to skip English and Math (guess I'm safe for not doing my homework for another day). I went into the engineering room to work on my little Lego claw from yesterday so I could program it to carry 3 blocks into 2 bins with a single button. Conveniently the program was by Lego.
I was practically snapping my mouse in half since the teacher was taking FOREVER to explain what we needed to do next. Honestly, if you can't figure out how to use a computer even a little bit on your own, this school is not for you. Eventually I just tuned him out and did the project on my own so I could spend time listening to music at the end.
You know how I said I was going to go to the Gay Straight Alliance meeting today? Yeah, I didn't. I was halfway there when a tiny light in my head went off and just told me not to go. I tried to argue with this little voice but he won the battle and I headed for the bus. What were the voice's words?...
"This club is only for the people who give a shit."
"It isn't a good idea. Something's gonna go down..."
"You're tired. This place will be here next week. And you can't just walk in for no reason."
I don't know what was up with my head but whatever it was it sounded pretty harsh on me. Am I insane? Or did I already establish that. After all these thoughts were mine. It's not like some outer being brainwashed me. But it was just pretty fucking weird.
When I got home I lay on my bed and took a long nap, something I've never actually done on a normal day. But it's late so I have to put my little thoughts away and clean up around this place before Brian get here. *Looks over at corner of room* Dammit...
I probably won't have time for a post while Brian is here but if I get the chance to be alone if he's in the shower or something I'll try to update. Clean-up time! Now where do I start?
Live.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Propaganda is My Specialty... Wait... Breaking News! :D
You know what? If I ever see a young kid saying that he's straight, I'm gonna tell him, "Oh, you're just confused, it's only a phase. You'll get over it."
Heigh ho Europe! Yesterday I came in contact with a rankings chart which I fell in love with immediately. Most of the statistics are dominated by Finland, Iceland, <3>, and other European countries here and there. Then it shows where the USA stands in those rankings, which in most cases is about 30 countries below the top few. Here it is (enjoy or weep):
******Link if you want it******
Heigh ho Europe! Yesterday I came in contact with a rankings chart which I fell in love with immediately. Most of the statistics are dominated by Finland, Iceland, <3>, and other European countries here and there. Then it shows where the USA stands in those rankings, which in most cases is about 30 countries below the top few. Here it is (enjoy or weep):
******Link if you want it******So what do I do with amazing things like this? Bring it to school! ^_^ Rita fell in love with it like I did, and wanted to keep it. Aha! But I came prepared! I had printed 10 copies of this to bring so I gladly let her keep it. I kept the train going by passing it through English class.
I couldn't really see what my English teacher was thinking about it. He said he wasn't going to have "propaganda" in my class. He also included that I was far too young to be this cynical. I had to inform him that cynicism was the basis of my life. And I've had enough of any sort of "too young" bullshit, if you know what I mean. The thing is, I sensed a hint of agreement in his tone, as if he was saying all this but only because he had to. A couple people wanted some of my handouts but Mr. teacher made sure I didn't spread word.
I continued my parade in math where a few people came over to see what the pretty looking chart meant. A couple kids were trying to find a way to disagree but since they didn't know anything about society they just stood baffled.
Robotics! Hands on work with programmed machinery! Behind the wheel of a robot doing slave work!... Oh... Wait.... Talking. Oh I see. 3 hours of nonstop speech from the Robotics teacher. How could he have not gotten tired? Chris had fallen asleep and I couldn't blame him, though I saw by his face he was peeking through undetectable slits in his eyelids.
Swallow and Smile. The completely non-sodomizing digestion camera. It was a little camera in a pill that was an ass-safe way to get a Colonoscopy, and they had to screw it up by naming it something even worse than an anal probe. I guess your digestive system is too sexual to not laugh about... I know I did.
Chris told me he was stalking me during lunch and me, Misha, and our friend Anita blew him away quickly....
______________________
I was ready to finish off this post when I got a phone call. It was Brian.
"Hey um, I'm coming back to Massachusetts. But Um, I need a place to stay. Would you mind letting me stay with you for the weekend?"
Like that's even a question. Why miss the chance to see him after almost half a year?
"Sure but I have to check it out with my folks."
Now I immediately expect to get a "no" since mum had to check it in with dad and I know how he is with sleepovers. Especially one with the opposite sex, and in my case boys. Not to mention he'd be staying until Monday and that was a school day. But he was quick to say yes. And shockingly my mom was the one leaning toward a no.
I did wonder why he would be staying with me and not with family. He told me his dad was going to Connecticut, and he didn't want to go with him. I don't think he's very tight with his dad. So if he could get a place to stay he'd be able to stay in Mass. with a friend.
He's coming here Friday night around 8 so I might still be on my way home from work when he gets here but it's no big deal. Plus I can go into school late tomorrow. He sounded different over the phone, guess it's been too long. I can't wait to see him again. I don't really know where he'll be sleeping though but we can figure that out when he gets here.
Live.
I couldn't really see what my English teacher was thinking about it. He said he wasn't going to have "propaganda" in my class. He also included that I was far too young to be this cynical. I had to inform him that cynicism was the basis of my life. And I've had enough of any sort of "too young" bullshit, if you know what I mean. The thing is, I sensed a hint of agreement in his tone, as if he was saying all this but only because he had to. A couple people wanted some of my handouts but Mr. teacher made sure I didn't spread word.
I continued my parade in math where a few people came over to see what the pretty looking chart meant. A couple kids were trying to find a way to disagree but since they didn't know anything about society they just stood baffled.
Robotics! Hands on work with programmed machinery! Behind the wheel of a robot doing slave work!... Oh... Wait.... Talking. Oh I see. 3 hours of nonstop speech from the Robotics teacher. How could he have not gotten tired? Chris had fallen asleep and I couldn't blame him, though I saw by his face he was peeking through undetectable slits in his eyelids.
Swallow and Smile. The completely non-sodomizing digestion camera. It was a little camera in a pill that was an ass-safe way to get a Colonoscopy, and they had to screw it up by naming it something even worse than an anal probe. I guess your digestive system is too sexual to not laugh about... I know I did.
Chris told me he was stalking me during lunch and me, Misha, and our friend Anita blew him away quickly....
______________________
I was ready to finish off this post when I got a phone call. It was Brian.
"Hey um, I'm coming back to Massachusetts. But Um, I need a place to stay. Would you mind letting me stay with you for the weekend?"
Like that's even a question. Why miss the chance to see him after almost half a year?
"Sure but I have to check it out with my folks."
Now I immediately expect to get a "no" since mum had to check it in with dad and I know how he is with sleepovers. Especially one with the opposite sex, and in my case boys. Not to mention he'd be staying until Monday and that was a school day. But he was quick to say yes. And shockingly my mom was the one leaning toward a no.
I did wonder why he would be staying with me and not with family. He told me his dad was going to Connecticut, and he didn't want to go with him. I don't think he's very tight with his dad. So if he could get a place to stay he'd be able to stay in Mass. with a friend.
He's coming here Friday night around 8 so I might still be on my way home from work when he gets here but it's no big deal. Plus I can go into school late tomorrow. He sounded different over the phone, guess it's been too long. I can't wait to see him again. I don't really know where he'll be sleeping though but we can figure that out when he gets here.
Live.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Swedish Dreams Crushed? Hopefully/Probably Not
If there's one thing you should know is that my life's goal is to retire to Sweden, that is of course if I can't get there sooner. I hope to have the chance to work there and experience the welfare system and all the pretty little other perks. And I've taken a personal virtual tour via Google Earth and Looked like the heights in my Massachusetts town. If you get a load of it looks pretty damn awesome. I remember doing this in Study and joking, "Hey look, even the slums are pretty!"Medford, you will think it's abandoned or run by gangs.
If possible I'd like to find an English transit college but that's something for another day...
So I ended up with a 100% on that essay I was briefly upset about. Hooray! I'm back in the running for an A! Mum promised if I get good grades this term I get to bleach my hair. Not too sure if I want to go through with it exactly since I do like my hair and other people think so as well but I'll think about it if I get the chance to.
Rita found an article in one of her magazines she reads when class is boring. It was about Sweden's recent election going to the far-right party. In a brief biased statement they want to block out foreigners due to a high rate in immigration. It also included on a "side-note" that Muslims are the highest of all immigrants. Hmm, racism towards the Islam people. Where have I heard this before.
Possibly the worst part was their plan to slowly move away from the oh so perfect welfare system. Lucky for Sweden, every input I've heard on the subject is against their welfare economic system. Honestly, do we want another United States? I really think they're overreacting to the unemployment rate practically doubling. Sounds scary, but the thing is it's still under 10%, almost the same as the US (and when you compare the populations... yeah.)
Here's an article if you would like to know it in full: http://nyti.ms/9xNBRg
My math teacher, according to my mother, is a twat. Now I didn't think much about that comment, but today kind of made me think. She has these "clicker tests", where she gives you a remote to answer 3 questions. The clicker works similar to those the audience gets in "Who Wants to be a Millionaire", where we get the A, B, C, D buttons to press while the question is up on the board.
First off, 3 question tests? So getting one wrong already fucks you over. Second, it would've been nice if she had taught us how to use the damn things. It would've been more effective for me to chuck the glossy calculator across the room.
Had our first day of Golf. I had a good time and my coach (English teacher) was getting me in some good habits. I'm a pretty decent driver as well. would've done better if I hadn't torn my hands apart with blisters. AARGH! My left hand is blistered all over! Worst part of it all is that we have no Band Aids! FACK! Lucky for me my sister had some in her car. for bonus points they have a Spongebob design on them :P
Mom talked to me more about how Kavanaugh needs to get a girlfriend. I feel like shit whenever we talk about him since that thought always gets to me. Then again I could have just been irritable from the lack of anything in my body.
Tomorrow I head into Robotics in exploratory... Meh :\ we'll see what happens. If it's that screaming banshee next door from drafting I'll be pissed.
Live
If possible I'd like to find an English transit college but that's something for another day...
So I ended up with a 100% on that essay I was briefly upset about. Hooray! I'm back in the running for an A! Mum promised if I get good grades this term I get to bleach my hair. Not too sure if I want to go through with it exactly since I do like my hair and other people think so as well but I'll think about it if I get the chance to.
Rita found an article in one of her magazines she reads when class is boring. It was about Sweden's recent election going to the far-right party. In a brief biased statement they want to block out foreigners due to a high rate in immigration. It also included on a "side-note" that Muslims are the highest of all immigrants. Hmm, racism towards the Islam people. Where have I heard this before.
Possibly the worst part was their plan to slowly move away from the oh so perfect welfare system. Lucky for Sweden, every input I've heard on the subject is against their welfare economic system. Honestly, do we want another United States? I really think they're overreacting to the unemployment rate practically doubling. Sounds scary, but the thing is it's still under 10%, almost the same as the US (and when you compare the populations... yeah.)
Here's an article if you would like to know it in full: http://nyti.ms/9xNBRg
My math teacher, according to my mother, is a twat. Now I didn't think much about that comment, but today kind of made me think. She has these "clicker tests", where she gives you a remote to answer 3 questions. The clicker works similar to those the audience gets in "Who Wants to be a Millionaire", where we get the A, B, C, D buttons to press while the question is up on the board.
First off, 3 question tests? So getting one wrong already fucks you over. Second, it would've been nice if she had taught us how to use the damn things. It would've been more effective for me to chuck the glossy calculator across the room.
Had our first day of Golf. I had a good time and my coach (English teacher) was getting me in some good habits. I'm a pretty decent driver as well. would've done better if I hadn't torn my hands apart with blisters. AARGH! My left hand is blistered all over! Worst part of it all is that we have no Band Aids! FACK! Lucky for me my sister had some in her car. for bonus points they have a Spongebob design on them :P
Mom talked to me more about how Kavanaugh needs to get a girlfriend. I feel like shit whenever we talk about him since that thought always gets to me. Then again I could have just been irritable from the lack of anything in my body.
Tomorrow I head into Robotics in exploratory... Meh :\ we'll see what happens. If it's that screaming banshee next door from drafting I'll be pissed.
Live
Monday, September 20, 2010
Gay Straight Alliance
Hmm, pasta... errr... pasta.
I need a longer cord to my hair straightener. I was only able to get half of my head straightened before the plug came loose and I ended up with half-straight half-wavy hair for the day. Luckily my natural awesome-hairness kicked in and made it tolerable. My hat helped, too.
As it turns out my English teacher gave everyone a C on their paper since he hasn't finished grading so he put that in the book to represent and "average" grade. Thanks for the 8 hour scare Mr. D! >_>
My Latin teacher turned out to be the leader of the Gay Straight Alliance at school. Of all the people it's funny how the leader is the one who centered her life around Catholicism. Shows how sensible and caring some people can be. First meeting is on Thursday so I plan on skipping golf to drop by.
Another exploratory week started today and now I'm in drafting. My sister works in this shop but she has academics this week. The teacher was all over me about her, though. He knew where I lived, most of my family members' names. So I get a good first impression with him. I constantly heard the teacher in the next shop over screaming at the students to sit right and pay attention and live with a stick up their ass like him.
Yeah, uh, that's not how you're going to get kids to join your class, sir.
The bus driver had to turn off the music on the bus today because half the bus was singing along to some Hip hop song. But they weren't going to stop so they clapped in rhythm and chanted and rhymed and I was ready to burst into laughter by the time they got to their station.
And while driving with mum to the UPS store, (which by the way I noticed the number on it is 1337. Hooray for nerds!) and she actually asked if I was joining the GSA. Guess I don't have to sneak out of Golf now ^_^
Live.
I need a longer cord to my hair straightener. I was only able to get half of my head straightened before the plug came loose and I ended up with half-straight half-wavy hair for the day. Luckily my natural awesome-hairness kicked in and made it tolerable. My hat helped, too.
As it turns out my English teacher gave everyone a C on their paper since he hasn't finished grading so he put that in the book to represent and "average" grade. Thanks for the 8 hour scare Mr. D! >_>
My Latin teacher turned out to be the leader of the Gay Straight Alliance at school. Of all the people it's funny how the leader is the one who centered her life around Catholicism. Shows how sensible and caring some people can be. First meeting is on Thursday so I plan on skipping golf to drop by.
Another exploratory week started today and now I'm in drafting. My sister works in this shop but she has academics this week. The teacher was all over me about her, though. He knew where I lived, most of my family members' names. So I get a good first impression with him. I constantly heard the teacher in the next shop over screaming at the students to sit right and pay attention and live with a stick up their ass like him.
Yeah, uh, that's not how you're going to get kids to join your class, sir.
The bus driver had to turn off the music on the bus today because half the bus was singing along to some Hip hop song. But they weren't going to stop so they clapped in rhythm and chanted and rhymed and I was ready to burst into laughter by the time they got to their station.
And while driving with mum to the UPS store, (which by the way I noticed the number on it is 1337. Hooray for nerds!) and she actually asked if I was joining the GSA. Guess I don't have to sneak out of Golf now ^_^
Live.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
FFFFFFUUUUUU!!!
Duct tape is so much fun to put on yourself. And for some reason I like removing it too x_x
My hair was a monster this morning. I looked like a freaking mushroom! I was barely able to tame it before work came along. I ran into my 8th grade science teacher there as well. I didn't say hi though since I never read my employee handbook so I wasn't sure if it was against the rules.
All day I was hoping to get something else to do besides bag boy, and I got my wish... Except it was towing carts. Let me say I can't push a shopping cart to save my life. More than two at least. So I just kept the carts neatly by other carts to make it seem like I did a good job.
My checks keep looking like they're less than they should be. Yeah it gives me my whole Sunday's pay but... Where the fuck are the Saturdays and Fridays? Better be going straight into the bank or I'll flip a bitch because 10 hours of work is not worth 60 bucks.
For homework over the weekend we were supposed to check our English grades online. We recently handed in our essays so I wanted to know what the grade was anyways. Let's see:
Homework: Perfect
Journal Entries: Over-perfect (extra credit)
Summer Reading Test: F(40%) aww :(
Essay: 70%.....
Overall: 76%
The fuck?! I put my left leg into that damn thing! I better get a decent explanation on Monday. I know I didn't have my handwritten rough draft but that definitely wasn't worth more than 10%. And we better get another writing assignment so I can at least get a solid B for the term.
Oh I am ready to rage... the title basically just says it all. I think I've been using that too much. Not just on here but everywhere. I watched this over 10 times this weekend
My hair was a monster this morning. I looked like a freaking mushroom! I was barely able to tame it before work came along. I ran into my 8th grade science teacher there as well. I didn't say hi though since I never read my employee handbook so I wasn't sure if it was against the rules.
All day I was hoping to get something else to do besides bag boy, and I got my wish... Except it was towing carts. Let me say I can't push a shopping cart to save my life. More than two at least. So I just kept the carts neatly by other carts to make it seem like I did a good job.
My checks keep looking like they're less than they should be. Yeah it gives me my whole Sunday's pay but... Where the fuck are the Saturdays and Fridays? Better be going straight into the bank or I'll flip a bitch because 10 hours of work is not worth 60 bucks.
For homework over the weekend we were supposed to check our English grades online. We recently handed in our essays so I wanted to know what the grade was anyways. Let's see:
Homework: Perfect
Journal Entries: Over-perfect (extra credit)
Summer Reading Test: F(40%) aww :(
Essay: 70%.....
Overall: 76%
The fuck?! I put my left leg into that damn thing! I better get a decent explanation on Monday. I know I didn't have my handwritten rough draft but that definitely wasn't worth more than 10%. And we better get another writing assignment so I can at least get a solid B for the term.
Oh I am ready to rage... the title basically just says it all. I think I've been using that too much. Not just on here but everywhere. I watched this over 10 times this weekend
Yeah I loved that movie, too. And for those that don't get it the boy had taken a vow of silence and wouldn't speak until he got into the Air Force. And you can't fly if you're color blind. But I must say out of all the first words that was the best.
Live.
Live.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Going the Extra Mile to Piss Me Off
The pants are dry, yet the pockets are still soaked.... The little things that piss me off. Like yesterday during groceries I was practically homicidal because my mom wanted me to go back 2 aisles and grab some Kraft macaroni. Yet big problems I can just let go. Odd?
So to change things up a bit at work, I was told to go out in the parking lot and pick up any trash or food. Thankfully I had an 8AM shift so there weren't cars and people constantly going in and out. But DAMMIT! Is it too much to ask for people to use the trash barrel? Even when it was right next to people, the ground seemed more lacking in garbage. And the bushes were a hot spot for asses to toss their unwanted bags, wrappers, and Dunkin Donuts coffee cups.
Worse news? It rained yesterday so everything was wet, too. FML
I space out way too much when working. I mean I guess it's hard to stay conscious when you're in the same place for 5 hours but twice I had to run outside to customers who left their bags at the register.
You know what's worse than people getting angry at you? People pretending to be nice to you when they're obviously pissed. So while bagging this lady's food I accidentally knocked one of her apples over. So I went to get her a replacement, but when I started to go back, she came over and took one from the pile right after I took one. She looked at me holding it up.
"This is a honeycrisp apple, and I think I'm just gonna get a new one myself." She said it in the nicest tone of voice, making her even more of a bitch than before.
Just not really my day at work. Oh well, dad made pizza.... It sucked.
"How was it?"
"Nothing special."
"Great. Another asshole for a son..."
"What? You want me to compliment it or tell you how it was?"
"....."
(Winner!)
I shouldn't try to do anything else today...
Live.
So to change things up a bit at work, I was told to go out in the parking lot and pick up any trash or food. Thankfully I had an 8AM shift so there weren't cars and people constantly going in and out. But DAMMIT! Is it too much to ask for people to use the trash barrel? Even when it was right next to people, the ground seemed more lacking in garbage. And the bushes were a hot spot for asses to toss their unwanted bags, wrappers, and Dunkin Donuts coffee cups.
Worse news? It rained yesterday so everything was wet, too. FML
I space out way too much when working. I mean I guess it's hard to stay conscious when you're in the same place for 5 hours but twice I had to run outside to customers who left their bags at the register.
You know what's worse than people getting angry at you? People pretending to be nice to you when they're obviously pissed. So while bagging this lady's food I accidentally knocked one of her apples over. So I went to get her a replacement, but when I started to go back, she came over and took one from the pile right after I took one. She looked at me holding it up.
"This is a honeycrisp apple, and I think I'm just gonna get a new one myself." She said it in the nicest tone of voice, making her even more of a bitch than before.
Just not really my day at work. Oh well, dad made pizza.... It sucked.
"How was it?"
"Nothing special."
"Great. Another asshole for a son..."
"What? You want me to compliment it or tell you how it was?"
"....."
(Winner!)
I shouldn't try to do anything else today...
Live.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Thieves!
I wanted to find a term for a gay boy who seems so straight that not even the Gaydar69000 could detect him. And after an hour, I did. I am a heteromo.
So last night I got a look at how I did on my summer reading test... I got a 40%. Dammit! those were good guesses! Would've helped if I read the book. Well fuck me sideways, it's worth 20% of my grade for the term so already I can only get a B+.
It's too much of a hassle to eat at my house anymore. I keep waking up late and I don't have time for breakfast. I end up with my mom telling me to hurry up every thirty seconds.
"Christian let's go!"
"I know mom I'm moving.... (bitch)"
Few moments later...
"Christian! You have to go now!"
"Okay thanks for the reminder! I totally forgot!"
And then as I walk down the stairs I hold up the bird as she rambles on. I mostly just tune her out.
So apparently some kids sneaked into the gym locker room and picked the lock on the door to the locker-boxes, and stole a bunch of stuff from a bunch of people, including my bro Kavanaugh. My brother comes up to me at lunch and tells me his cell phone and Mp3 player were stolen from him, along with $80 he kept in his wallet. I'd like to know why the hell he thought it was a good idea to bring every cent he has to school where why probably wouldn't have spent more than $5.
After school I overheard Abby crying to my mom. Apparently one of her friends canceled plans for someone else, which set off a chain of cries about "I have no friends" and "No one loves me." Now I love my sister as I constantly point out, but I went through the same exact shit. But I didn't cry about it. No I did the right thing: Keep it to myself and fuck myself up in the head.
Sorry. It's hard to hear he say those things when it's not true at all. I see her go out with two or three friends every other day. And since suddenly one friend made other plans, it's the end of the world.
Mom said, "Look. She's always gonna be one of those people who will take the next best thing."
Had to agree with that one. Because in honesty, Abby probably would too. but since she can't be top bitch it's unfair. She made it worse by calling her friend. Maybe if she was trying to work it out then it would have been fine, but instead she tried to seek some sort of pity by moping to her.
It's all worked out now but she needs to know how to work with these kind of things.
Live.
So last night I got a look at how I did on my summer reading test... I got a 40%. Dammit! those were good guesses! Would've helped if I read the book. Well fuck me sideways, it's worth 20% of my grade for the term so already I can only get a B+.
It's too much of a hassle to eat at my house anymore. I keep waking up late and I don't have time for breakfast. I end up with my mom telling me to hurry up every thirty seconds.
"Christian let's go!"
"I know mom I'm moving.... (bitch)"
Few moments later...
"Christian! You have to go now!"
"Okay thanks for the reminder! I totally forgot!"
And then as I walk down the stairs I hold up the bird as she rambles on. I mostly just tune her out.
So apparently some kids sneaked into the gym locker room and picked the lock on the door to the locker-boxes, and stole a bunch of stuff from a bunch of people, including my bro Kavanaugh. My brother comes up to me at lunch and tells me his cell phone and Mp3 player were stolen from him, along with $80 he kept in his wallet. I'd like to know why the hell he thought it was a good idea to bring every cent he has to school where why probably wouldn't have spent more than $5.
After school I overheard Abby crying to my mom. Apparently one of her friends canceled plans for someone else, which set off a chain of cries about "I have no friends" and "No one loves me." Now I love my sister as I constantly point out, but I went through the same exact shit. But I didn't cry about it. No I did the right thing: Keep it to myself and fuck myself up in the head.
Sorry. It's hard to hear he say those things when it's not true at all. I see her go out with two or three friends every other day. And since suddenly one friend made other plans, it's the end of the world.
Mom said, "Look. She's always gonna be one of those people who will take the next best thing."
Had to agree with that one. Because in honesty, Abby probably would too. but since she can't be top bitch it's unfair. She made it worse by calling her friend. Maybe if she was trying to work it out then it would have been fine, but instead she tried to seek some sort of pity by moping to her.
It's all worked out now but she needs to know how to work with these kind of things.
Live.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Ex-Boyfriend Problems
I'm just gonna call my sister by her name now (Abby). So Abby just took a huge fall down the stairs. And it's a lot of stairs! She was carrying up cases of soda and I heard her scream followed by thumping. I figured she just dropped a case and giggled a bit. But then I heard her crying and realized she went down hard. Crazy shit, but she's fine now.
I gotta stop going to bed so late. Last night I said I had to edit my essay. But I had to completely rewrite the last paragraph and it ended up taking me into the 3am mark. Want even worse news? It wasn't due today. And I've never had a chance to say this fittingly but that seemed like a perfectly fitting time:
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUU-!!!
So I ended up leaving the house late. Oh well. I feel bad taking Latin even though I already have 3 years of it from middle school. But I have to take a language for 2 years and since Swedish isn't on the list I figured it was better than Spanish or French. There's this boy Liam who sits next to me in class. He apparently has "astigmatism in growth" as he calls it. I call it "You haven't hit puberty yet numbskull". He hasn't. He maybe just hits 5 feet in height, still has a young child's voice, and he is awfully skinny to the point where he looks around 11 years old. He's pretty annoying. He tries to be a smartass at any given chance, and is really narrow minded. I feel kind of bad thinking of how he plays football with kids who are giants compared to him and could throw him harder than the ball. Not to mention if he showers with the team how he might feel "inferior". So I try to be a nice guy. (And I must admit he's pretty cute ;3)
Griffin apparently has messed up nerve endings in his hands so he can't feel much. Which is why he plays this game where two people lock hands arm-wrestling-style, and go back and forth slapping each others hands. We played it in Latin but after a few slaps I got worried the teacher would get angry. Probably wouldn't have lasted long anyway since he knows how to sting. He played with Eric at lunch as well. Eric wussed after the first slap. And I've decided to call him 'Metro' since he is everything a stereotypical gay guy should be, but straight. And not just a little swishy I'm talking Lady Gaga, hand gesture flair, light Abercrombie and Hollister clothes, spunky attitude, anything!
After school I talked with an old friend of mine named Venus. She was one of my best friends in middle school and I haven't talked too her much since school ended. So she told me that she ran into my ex-boyfriend Ian. To make it short, it went a little like this:
Ian: Where's your weird friend? (me)
Venus: *playfully* You mean your boyfriend?
Ian: He's NOT my boyfriend!
Venus: YES HE IS!
This apparently caused Ian to break down and cry. Now me and Ian weren't much. It was just a short few weeks, and not much more than a couple kisses and then we just broke up like that. And he has mentioned me to other people before but it wasn't really anything. But crying? I'm afraid something might be bothering him. But it's not like I did anything to upset him. So now he has me worried and I keep trying to figure out why he's slightly off whenever I'm involved.
But I guess I can't confront him with this because I wouldn't want to let him know I knew he cried. Be kind of embarrassing you know? I figure if he has a problem with me he would tell me himself. If anyone has advice I'd appreciate it, though.
Google told me if I wanted to clean my hat I should wear it when I shower so I'm off to do that now.
Live.
I gotta stop going to bed so late. Last night I said I had to edit my essay. But I had to completely rewrite the last paragraph and it ended up taking me into the 3am mark. Want even worse news? It wasn't due today. And I've never had a chance to say this fittingly but that seemed like a perfectly fitting time:
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUU-!!!
So I ended up leaving the house late. Oh well. I feel bad taking Latin even though I already have 3 years of it from middle school. But I have to take a language for 2 years and since Swedish isn't on the list I figured it was better than Spanish or French. There's this boy Liam who sits next to me in class. He apparently has "astigmatism in growth" as he calls it. I call it "You haven't hit puberty yet numbskull". He hasn't. He maybe just hits 5 feet in height, still has a young child's voice, and he is awfully skinny to the point where he looks around 11 years old. He's pretty annoying. He tries to be a smartass at any given chance, and is really narrow minded. I feel kind of bad thinking of how he plays football with kids who are giants compared to him and could throw him harder than the ball. Not to mention if he showers with the team how he might feel "inferior". So I try to be a nice guy. (And I must admit he's pretty cute ;3)
Griffin apparently has messed up nerve endings in his hands so he can't feel much. Which is why he plays this game where two people lock hands arm-wrestling-style, and go back and forth slapping each others hands. We played it in Latin but after a few slaps I got worried the teacher would get angry. Probably wouldn't have lasted long anyway since he knows how to sting. He played with Eric at lunch as well. Eric wussed after the first slap. And I've decided to call him 'Metro' since he is everything a stereotypical gay guy should be, but straight. And not just a little swishy I'm talking Lady Gaga, hand gesture flair, light Abercrombie and Hollister clothes, spunky attitude, anything!
After school I talked with an old friend of mine named Venus. She was one of my best friends in middle school and I haven't talked too her much since school ended. So she told me that she ran into my ex-boyfriend Ian. To make it short, it went a little like this:
Ian: Where's your weird friend? (me)
Venus: *playfully* You mean your boyfriend?
Ian: He's NOT my boyfriend!
Venus: YES HE IS!
This apparently caused Ian to break down and cry. Now me and Ian weren't much. It was just a short few weeks, and not much more than a couple kisses and then we just broke up like that. And he has mentioned me to other people before but it wasn't really anything. But crying? I'm afraid something might be bothering him. But it's not like I did anything to upset him. So now he has me worried and I keep trying to figure out why he's slightly off whenever I'm involved.
But I guess I can't confront him with this because I wouldn't want to let him know I knew he cried. Be kind of embarrassing you know? I figure if he has a problem with me he would tell me himself. If anyone has advice I'd appreciate it, though.
Google told me if I wanted to clean my hat I should wear it when I shower so I'm off to do that now.
Live.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Okay My Brother is Such a Dick
"It's all about glitter and anal."
Oh shit I never even started to fix my essay up and it's due tomorrow! I need a drink! Grr... Well at least I realized it now and not past midnight.
So here's the story. I never got why my brother hated Ian. He's probably one of the coolest kids around. I guess it can't be too hard to see since you can tell just by looking at them they're complete opposites. Ian is more of the scene kid and Kav is more of the I-don't-care type.
Side note: I never understood why my brother cares so little about himself. I mean, he'll eat whatever and just gorge himself on snacks until he's sick, he doesn't shower as well as he should (don't know if he uses soap :\), he doesn't care about what he wears as long as it fits, and I swear if he doesn't shave those pubes off his face I'll scream. I mean, I know it's stupid to care too much about your appearance. But he does nothing to at least look decent.
Anyway, you know how Ian sells bagels right? Yeah he gets them from a shop close to his house every morning and then charges a bit more at school. He also works in the bakery I believe. So my brother bought a bagel form him today.
He then proceeded to throw it on the ground, and stomp on it repeatedly like a spaz. I hope he realized it was in the middle of the cafeteria and half of EVERYBODY turned their heads. Apparently "it was funny" and he got a nice laugh out of it. Keyword he. And only he. Wasn't all that funny when an adviser chewed him out and had him scrape the bagel-cake up.
Ian just shrugged and said, "As long as he paid me I don't care what he does with it."
I mean everyone else got a laugh out of it but you know... He's MY brother! It kind of looks bad on me when shit like that happens. Right in front of me, too. I kind of wish Amy (older sister FYI) had lunch with us, too. She would've had a piece of him. But I won't tell her because I just think it would cause a bunch of arguments.
One of my brother's friends came up to me in study and told me he thought it was pretty stupid of him to just make a fool of himself. "I dunno," he said. "He seemed like a pretty cool guy last year. Now he's just acting like a loser all of a sudden."
Oh well. Doesn't matter. No one really knows we're related so as far as anyone knows my family is only as fucked up as anyone else'.
Live.
Oh shit I never even started to fix my essay up and it's due tomorrow! I need a drink! Grr... Well at least I realized it now and not past midnight.
So here's the story. I never got why my brother hated Ian. He's probably one of the coolest kids around. I guess it can't be too hard to see since you can tell just by looking at them they're complete opposites. Ian is more of the scene kid and Kav is more of the I-don't-care type.
Side note: I never understood why my brother cares so little about himself. I mean, he'll eat whatever and just gorge himself on snacks until he's sick, he doesn't shower as well as he should (don't know if he uses soap :\), he doesn't care about what he wears as long as it fits, and I swear if he doesn't shave those pubes off his face I'll scream. I mean, I know it's stupid to care too much about your appearance. But he does nothing to at least look decent.
Anyway, you know how Ian sells bagels right? Yeah he gets them from a shop close to his house every morning and then charges a bit more at school. He also works in the bakery I believe. So my brother bought a bagel form him today.
He then proceeded to throw it on the ground, and stomp on it repeatedly like a spaz. I hope he realized it was in the middle of the cafeteria and half of EVERYBODY turned their heads. Apparently "it was funny" and he got a nice laugh out of it. Keyword he. And only he. Wasn't all that funny when an adviser chewed him out and had him scrape the bagel-cake up.
Ian just shrugged and said, "As long as he paid me I don't care what he does with it."
I mean everyone else got a laugh out of it but you know... He's MY brother! It kind of looks bad on me when shit like that happens. Right in front of me, too. I kind of wish Amy (older sister FYI) had lunch with us, too. She would've had a piece of him. But I won't tell her because I just think it would cause a bunch of arguments.
One of my brother's friends came up to me in study and told me he thought it was pretty stupid of him to just make a fool of himself. "I dunno," he said. "He seemed like a pretty cool guy last year. Now he's just acting like a loser all of a sudden."
Oh well. Doesn't matter. No one really knows we're related so as far as anyone knows my family is only as fucked up as anyone else'.
Live.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Physical... Oh I Get It
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To pop some Ecstasy pills.
Jill had a stroke
When her cherry broke
And Jack threw the body in the well.
Amazing the kinds of messed up shit I can come up with :)
I had to pass my medical papers in today at school if I was going to play Golf. Thing was, they were outdated. So I had to get my height and weight checked and then get my heart checked. I tried not to look but I kept on peeking at a cute fellow freshman boy, who by his looks was probably a skateboarder. Lucky for me my flowing long hair provided good cover for my "wandering" eyes.
I felt like I was a small kid again when being asked to open wide and stick out my tongue. The stethoscope was so freaking cold when the doctor had to hear my heart and ran it along my back. I tensed up, too because it tickled SO MUCH! Good thing he wasn't really a cute doctor or else I may have gotten "comfortable".
Okay I admit it... I was a bit horny today :3
There's this kid Henry in most of my classes. I swear he practically pushes me off the edge when he talks. Harsh? No. He does this on purpose. Every time a teacher says something either ridiculous or complicated, he has to make some short, poorly toned sarcastic "What?" or some other bad attempt at a joke. And it's not only me. The teachers have gotten to the point where they just ignore him and continue. It's hard to think he isn't getting the message that he needs a batter way to get attention.
During lunch I made sure to sit across from Sneha so that thieving dyke (No offense to anyone, it's just what I call her now. And she's not a lezbot FYI) couldn't steal my drink again. Ian sat with us again and he told a story of how he tried making pancakes in a pot and ended up burning his hand horribly. At one point my brother sneaked up on me and scared me shitless. I actually shivered :\. I felt arms rest on my head and I thought it was him again. When I looked though it was just Solomon. Good thing I didn't make a remark or I would've looked like a jackass.
We're switching out history textbooks so I have to lug that paper brick back to the school. Uugh... I kind of like the class, though since it's the first time I'm in a History class that studied US history. All this time and just now it's about the US. And I swear the teacher wanted to strangle Henry since he was doing his usual bit. I tried to hide my giggles.
For the first time all year I didn't have to ride the bus! My sister ditched soccer today so she drove us home. I didn't realize it was parked in the lot next to the school's. I didn't want to walk around so I hopped the fence. When I just reached the top my brother came out of nowhere and charged into the fence. Lucky for me I caught myself but I was still pretty pissed. And I never realized how fast I could climb before.
You know what? I think I might just go climb a tree. :D
To pop some Ecstasy pills.
Jill had a stroke
When her cherry broke
And Jack threw the body in the well.
Amazing the kinds of messed up shit I can come up with :)
I had to pass my medical papers in today at school if I was going to play Golf. Thing was, they were outdated. So I had to get my height and weight checked and then get my heart checked. I tried not to look but I kept on peeking at a cute fellow freshman boy, who by his looks was probably a skateboarder. Lucky for me my flowing long hair provided good cover for my "wandering" eyes.
I felt like I was a small kid again when being asked to open wide and stick out my tongue. The stethoscope was so freaking cold when the doctor had to hear my heart and ran it along my back. I tensed up, too because it tickled SO MUCH! Good thing he wasn't really a cute doctor or else I may have gotten "comfortable".
Okay I admit it... I was a bit horny today :3
There's this kid Henry in most of my classes. I swear he practically pushes me off the edge when he talks. Harsh? No. He does this on purpose. Every time a teacher says something either ridiculous or complicated, he has to make some short, poorly toned sarcastic "What?" or some other bad attempt at a joke. And it's not only me. The teachers have gotten to the point where they just ignore him and continue. It's hard to think he isn't getting the message that he needs a batter way to get attention.
During lunch I made sure to sit across from Sneha so that thieving dyke (No offense to anyone, it's just what I call her now. And she's not a lezbot FYI) couldn't steal my drink again. Ian sat with us again and he told a story of how he tried making pancakes in a pot and ended up burning his hand horribly. At one point my brother sneaked up on me and scared me shitless. I actually shivered :\. I felt arms rest on my head and I thought it was him again. When I looked though it was just Solomon. Good thing I didn't make a remark or I would've looked like a jackass.
We're switching out history textbooks so I have to lug that paper brick back to the school. Uugh... I kind of like the class, though since it's the first time I'm in a History class that studied US history. All this time and just now it's about the US. And I swear the teacher wanted to strangle Henry since he was doing his usual bit. I tried to hide my giggles.
For the first time all year I didn't have to ride the bus! My sister ditched soccer today so she drove us home. I didn't realize it was parked in the lot next to the school's. I didn't want to walk around so I hopped the fence. When I just reached the top my brother came out of nowhere and charged into the fence. Lucky for me I caught myself but I was still pretty pissed. And I never realized how fast I could climb before.
You know what? I think I might just go climb a tree. :D
Monday, September 13, 2010
Bit of a Problem. Suggestions?
Dammit Aisling! You know I hate it when you set the ice maker to crushed ice and don't set it back to cubes! GRRR!!!
Today just started off so perfect. I was able to get up, straighten my hair without any issues, eat, take the pill, and check my messages with time still left over. I was totally awake, too! (And I looked fabulous ;) teehee) I found Rita and Misha right when I entered the building and joined as we chatted with Ian (bagel boy as Rita insists on calling him). I don't know if Ian is gay or not. I mean, when I first saw him I immediately thought so but there weren't really any other signs. Though I did notice when Rita, Misha, and I left him that another boy greeted him with a hug and they held each other very close as they chatted.
We did peer reviews in English, which made me realize that even after editing my essay, it was still a load of shit. I've always been good at writing. Thing is I can really only write stories and the only time I ever write anything like an essay is just a comment on an article or thread on Reddit.
Andrew came up to me and told me he knew of a gay Russian boy who recently came out to everyone. Glad you're staying true to your word on laying back on the gay tease. But since it was still a gay Russian boy I was at least a bit curious.
At lunch I later realized that the boy was apparently Griffin's new boyfriend. I was expected to be jealous but he really wasn't my type. Curse me and my liking shorter boys :\ some people think it's ridiculous I don't like tall boys but hey we all have our kinks. Again a boy came over to our table at lunch and wrapped his arms around Ian, forcing me to put my gaydar on 'silent'.
I finally got around to transferring out of the music class I was in, swapping ti for a study. I also had time to hand in my form to my English teacher so I can play Golf, since he apparently also has time to coach Golf. I personally would shoot myself.
Mum offered to let me attend CCD (Sunday school for people who don't have time on Sundays if you didn't know). I noted that if I were to attend, I would most likely be thrown out for rudeness and being a non believer, but it would be a fun time. But I figure I shouldn't ruin the teacher's day.
Now to my little, sort of, kinda big problem. I've had a recent habit, or more like obsession with eyeliner. Every time I get the chance, I steal some of my sister's eyeliner, and apply it and inspect my work before washing it off. I wanted to take a picture today but mum came home as soon as I was finished so I had to remove it quickly. Probably not the thing I should be making a big deal out of, and I'm not, but I know my folks would.
My mom is all okay with me being gay, even though she still doubts I am since I don't "act gay". It angers me when she thinks things like that but I guess she's just uninformed. Anyway, the one thing she doesn't want from me is to start going "drag". Now I know this is a minor thing and of course I know plenty of hetero boys do it, too. The only problem is, since my mom knows I'm gay if I were to tell her I wanted to wear eyeliner, she would relate it to my sexuality in some way.
All these little (and some bigger) things like these make me regret coming out to her. Then again it was inevitable for everyone but her to know and it was best she hear it form me than one of her friends who overheard her kid say something. If she didn't know I was gay, she would probably just think it was silly. Now if I were to ask, it would be way more serious with her.
Lets not forget Dad. There is no way he would be okay with this. But since me and mum keep a lot of things secret from him, I hope this could be one of those things as well. It may be difficult but maybe I could just wear it when I go out and he never has to know.
I have all these ideas running through my head, and as it is not a life changing decision, I just want to know if anyone has any ideas of how to approach this.
Today just started off so perfect. I was able to get up, straighten my hair without any issues, eat, take the pill, and check my messages with time still left over. I was totally awake, too! (And I looked fabulous ;) teehee) I found Rita and Misha right when I entered the building and joined as we chatted with Ian (bagel boy as Rita insists on calling him). I don't know if Ian is gay or not. I mean, when I first saw him I immediately thought so but there weren't really any other signs. Though I did notice when Rita, Misha, and I left him that another boy greeted him with a hug and they held each other very close as they chatted.
We did peer reviews in English, which made me realize that even after editing my essay, it was still a load of shit. I've always been good at writing. Thing is I can really only write stories and the only time I ever write anything like an essay is just a comment on an article or thread on Reddit.
Andrew came up to me and told me he knew of a gay Russian boy who recently came out to everyone. Glad you're staying true to your word on laying back on the gay tease. But since it was still a gay Russian boy I was at least a bit curious.
At lunch I later realized that the boy was apparently Griffin's new boyfriend. I was expected to be jealous but he really wasn't my type. Curse me and my liking shorter boys :\ some people think it's ridiculous I don't like tall boys but hey we all have our kinks. Again a boy came over to our table at lunch and wrapped his arms around Ian, forcing me to put my gaydar on 'silent'.
I finally got around to transferring out of the music class I was in, swapping ti for a study. I also had time to hand in my form to my English teacher so I can play Golf, since he apparently also has time to coach Golf. I personally would shoot myself.
Mum offered to let me attend CCD (Sunday school for people who don't have time on Sundays if you didn't know). I noted that if I were to attend, I would most likely be thrown out for rudeness and being a non believer, but it would be a fun time. But I figure I shouldn't ruin the teacher's day.
_________________________________
Now to my little, sort of, kinda big problem. I've had a recent habit, or more like obsession with eyeliner. Every time I get the chance, I steal some of my sister's eyeliner, and apply it and inspect my work before washing it off. I wanted to take a picture today but mum came home as soon as I was finished so I had to remove it quickly. Probably not the thing I should be making a big deal out of, and I'm not, but I know my folks would.
My mom is all okay with me being gay, even though she still doubts I am since I don't "act gay". It angers me when she thinks things like that but I guess she's just uninformed. Anyway, the one thing she doesn't want from me is to start going "drag". Now I know this is a minor thing and of course I know plenty of hetero boys do it, too. The only problem is, since my mom knows I'm gay if I were to tell her I wanted to wear eyeliner, she would relate it to my sexuality in some way.
All these little (and some bigger) things like these make me regret coming out to her. Then again it was inevitable for everyone but her to know and it was best she hear it form me than one of her friends who overheard her kid say something. If she didn't know I was gay, she would probably just think it was silly. Now if I were to ask, it would be way more serious with her.
Lets not forget Dad. There is no way he would be okay with this. But since me and mum keep a lot of things secret from him, I hope this could be one of those things as well. It may be difficult but maybe I could just wear it when I go out and he never has to know.
I have all these ideas running through my head, and as it is not a life changing decision, I just want to know if anyone has any ideas of how to approach this.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
I'll Fit both Days in One Post
My connection was laughing at me yesterday so I couldn't publish Saturday's post. So I have them both in one.
I finally got my sister to listen to the band "A Day to Remember" and now she spent her entire iTunes gift card on them. Well good, because when it comes to that band, there's no wrong answer.
My sister woke me up saying that I have the day off from work. Score! I hate doing afternoon shifts. I look over at my clock and I seemed to have slept until 2:00. School must have really hit me hard. I went downstairs and make a toasted bagel (with peanut butter. Yum!) My mom was watching a 9/11 all day special. I completely forgot what day it was!
Around 3:30 I got a phone call. It was from Wilson's, the market where I work. Apparently my sister got the day off, but I didn't. I tried to explain that my sister had told me I wasn't working but I could tell by the way Michelle, my boss, was talking that she didn't care. She didn't want me to come in and to just make sure I come to work on time on Sunday.
My sister wanted me to go to CVS with her and pick up a couple things, so I went with her since I'm just the nicest guy around ^_^. I picked myself up a raspberry iced tea and I swear it was practically orgasmic.
Well when I got to work tomorrow I'll probably be chewed out by the manager. If I get shit-canned my sister is screwed... But then again so am I. It's past midnight so I better get some sleep.
As for 9/11, I think it's been enough time now. The only people who should still be making a big deal about what happened 9 years ago, are those who were there, or know someone who was there. Yes I do think it was horrible and I still cry when I watch "United 93", but in my opinion, everyone who is still trying to act devastated over it when it didn't have any serious effect on them, just needs to get over it. We have other problems to be worrying about.
I finally got my sister to listen to the band "A Day to Remember" and now she spent her entire iTunes gift card on them. Well good, because when it comes to that band, there's no wrong answer.
My sister woke me up saying that I have the day off from work. Score! I hate doing afternoon shifts. I look over at my clock and I seemed to have slept until 2:00. School must have really hit me hard. I went downstairs and make a toasted bagel (with peanut butter. Yum!) My mom was watching a 9/11 all day special. I completely forgot what day it was!
Around 3:30 I got a phone call. It was from Wilson's, the market where I work. Apparently my sister got the day off, but I didn't. I tried to explain that my sister had told me I wasn't working but I could tell by the way Michelle, my boss, was talking that she didn't care. She didn't want me to come in and to just make sure I come to work on time on Sunday.
My sister wanted me to go to CVS with her and pick up a couple things, so I went with her since I'm just the nicest guy around ^_^. I picked myself up a raspberry iced tea and I swear it was practically orgasmic.
Well when I got to work tomorrow I'll probably be chewed out by the manager. If I get shit-canned my sister is screwed... But then again so am I. It's past midnight so I better get some sleep.
As for 9/11, I think it's been enough time now. The only people who should still be making a big deal about what happened 9 years ago, are those who were there, or know someone who was there. Yes I do think it was horrible and I still cry when I watch "United 93", but in my opinion, everyone who is still trying to act devastated over it when it didn't have any serious effect on them, just needs to get over it. We have other problems to be worrying about.
_________________________
Sunday:
My sister was climbing on top of me trying to get me out of bed. But since I love her she didn't get a smack. I had a major sugar rush after breakfast since mum bought Doughnuts.
Wasn't all that great soon after since I crashed when it was time for work. Perfect, right? Whatever, I took a nap while I was on break. It's funny, there was this time after break where I was bagging for two old men. They were going at it back and forth in a playful manner like a couple. I could have sworn they were, but I guess one of the men realized what they were doing. He said, "Ya know people are gonna think we're gay."
Then the other one looked at him and said, "You ARE gay." I had to hold in my laughter on that one.
Whenever I'm at work I always have to fix my hair since bending over to bag food messes up my long mane constantly. Then this lady tells me I'm not supposed to be doing that since my filthy hair will gross up my hands. Yeah bitch, because I totally don't wash my hair in the shower or anything. Hell I shampoo twice.
I have to be careful when I fix it though since I'm not allowed to wear an earring at work but I do anyway. My hair covers it up, though. But while I was fixing my hair my co-worker Matt saw it.
"You have an earring?"
"Maybe." Hey Matt, you mind not yelling it out?
"That's awesome!"
My check seemed a bit light today. I could have sworn I put more hours into it than I thought but I guess I was wrong. Not that I can remember much past breakfast anyway. Well I have some serious homework to do. It's more than I thought it would be so I might do a lot of it on the ride to school tomorrow morning.
Live.
My sister was climbing on top of me trying to get me out of bed. But since I love her she didn't get a smack. I had a major sugar rush after breakfast since mum bought Doughnuts.
Wasn't all that great soon after since I crashed when it was time for work. Perfect, right? Whatever, I took a nap while I was on break. It's funny, there was this time after break where I was bagging for two old men. They were going at it back and forth in a playful manner like a couple. I could have sworn they were, but I guess one of the men realized what they were doing. He said, "Ya know people are gonna think we're gay."
Then the other one looked at him and said, "You ARE gay." I had to hold in my laughter on that one.
Whenever I'm at work I always have to fix my hair since bending over to bag food messes up my long mane constantly. Then this lady tells me I'm not supposed to be doing that since my filthy hair will gross up my hands. Yeah bitch, because I totally don't wash my hair in the shower or anything. Hell I shampoo twice.
I have to be careful when I fix it though since I'm not allowed to wear an earring at work but I do anyway. My hair covers it up, though. But while I was fixing my hair my co-worker Matt saw it.
"You have an earring?"
"Maybe." Hey Matt, you mind not yelling it out?
"That's awesome!"
My check seemed a bit light today. I could have sworn I put more hours into it than I thought but I guess I was wrong. Not that I can remember much past breakfast anyway. Well I have some serious homework to do. It's more than I thought it would be so I might do a lot of it on the ride to school tomorrow morning.
Live.
Friday, September 10, 2010
"Out of My Shell" Now Powered by Blogger
Because Google can do anything. And when they can't do something, they buy it.
----
Well, this is the last blog-hosting website I want to have to use. So if this goes down I'll be pretty pissed. I don't want anything to do with Wordpress ever again.
Due to an issue with malware and popups, I had to take down my Nibblebit blog. So posting will continue from this address from now on.
I tried to export the blog but since Wordpress is just looking for ways to screw me, I had to copy/paste every post and everything in the sidebar. It's all there, just don't go back to Nibble.
Live.
MANicure
I walk into the kitchen for dinner, grab a plate, and just as I’m about to take a slice of meatloaf… I realize I’m not hungry.
Writing comes out a lot better in my head than it does when I put it on paper. I figured I had a gold essay for English, but after reading a bit of it, it was just awful. Looks like I have a lot of editing to do over the weekend before Monday. *sigh*
I swear I was ready to throw something through my computer in graphics today. At random times when I tried to move my mouse, the computer zoomed away from my program to show me all the windows making it hard to work. Later in the day my brother explained that it was because when I squeeze the sides of the mouse it does that. But that’s rediculous. The more frustrated I got, the harder I gripped the mouse!
As I expected, my request to print my calendar was declined. But the teacher did say I worked too hard on it for it to be thrown away, so she let me put it on the thumb drive we got at the beginning of the year. It’s now a PDF file which I can print from my computer here at home. But does anyone know what to set the paper size to if I need to print it on paper that is 11 inches, but twice as big in width (17 in)?
When I got to lunch I saw that Griffin had red nail-polish on his hands. Apparently he was in cosmetology and they needed a subject for manicures and he volunteered. Not only were his nails painted, but his hands were cleansed and scented as well. Full hand job (teehee) for free!
We were also required to make a person in Adobe Illustrator using only text. Better, I thought, I’ll recreate the Reddit alien. When I was done it looked almost like the real thing. so I put that on the thumb drive as well. But the alien wasn’t impressed by my work, because when I opened my portrait of him, and his eyes were squinted. Like an evil grin!
Nothing else happened for today and I have to shut down early since mom’s on the rag about the usual and tld me no computer.
Live. I hope I do :3
Writing comes out a lot better in my head than it does when I put it on paper. I figured I had a gold essay for English, but after reading a bit of it, it was just awful. Looks like I have a lot of editing to do over the weekend before Monday. *sigh*
I swear I was ready to throw something through my computer in graphics today. At random times when I tried to move my mouse, the computer zoomed away from my program to show me all the windows making it hard to work. Later in the day my brother explained that it was because when I squeeze the sides of the mouse it does that. But that’s rediculous. The more frustrated I got, the harder I gripped the mouse!
As I expected, my request to print my calendar was declined. But the teacher did say I worked too hard on it for it to be thrown away, so she let me put it on the thumb drive we got at the beginning of the year. It’s now a PDF file which I can print from my computer here at home. But does anyone know what to set the paper size to if I need to print it on paper that is 11 inches, but twice as big in width (17 in)?
When I got to lunch I saw that Griffin had red nail-polish on his hands. Apparently he was in cosmetology and they needed a subject for manicures and he volunteered. Not only were his nails painted, but his hands were cleansed and scented as well. Full hand job (teehee) for free!
We were also required to make a person in Adobe Illustrator using only text. Better, I thought, I’ll recreate the Reddit alien. When I was done it looked almost like the real thing. so I put that on the thumb drive as well. But the alien wasn’t impressed by my work, because when I opened my portrait of him, and his eyes were squinted. Like an evil grin!
Nothing else happened for today and I have to shut down early since mom’s on the rag about the usual and tld me no computer.
Live. I hope I do :3
Brian Coming for a Visit?
You ever listen to those bands in which it doesn’t matter what song is playing? It all just sounds awesome? Probably the best feeling a person like me who feeds off music can get.
My dad woke me up this morning asking me some sort of question. I didn’t understand him so I asked again. He repeated himself. “What?” I asked again. He just said ‘never mind’ and left my room. So I went back to sleep. Or did I? Was I dreaming? Because if I was it’s pretty pathetic for me to dream about waking up.
I finally got my wish today in exploratory. I finally got to use an iMac. So pretty, and nice programs, and a messed up track ball. My finger was too big and it wouldn’t scroll down but when I wanted to scroll up it shot me to the top of the page. And I didn’t realize I could right click until I set the right side of the mouse to right click. Honestly, why is it an option to turn that off?
The teacher was a major B I T C H. I had my hat on for a photo and since I didn’t take it off right away when I came back into the room she felt it was necessary to yell. So I hissed and made a claw with my hand behind her back.
As an introduction, we’re making calendars. I decided to do mine after the Swedish film “Let the Right One In”. Or “Let Me In” to some since they never heard there was a better option. But I’ve ranted too many times about it to do it again. Some of the pictures I included were a bit bloody, but not really enough to disgust. Just in case I’m gonna wait until I’m already finished for her to be able to sneak a peek at it. It’ll be too late for me to redo it so she can either let it go or not let me print it at all in which I can just send it home.
At the end of the day, this boy Chris, who I schooled with last year, came up to me. Now, I find Chris to be one of the most annoying people I have ever met. It wouldn’t normally bother me but he knows it annoys me yet he continues to test me.
“Hey, Christian that sign says you have to be 36 inches away from that power box.”
“Good to know, Chris.”
“You need to move away you’re too close.”
“You’re a bit too close to me.”
“Yeah but I’m not too close to the power box.” At this point I just turned away but nope. He just had to push the envelope. He snatched my hat off my head. “No hats in school until the bell rings.” (It was no more than 30 seconds until the bell rings.) Know one thing about me:
You do NOT fuck with me and my hat.
“Chris.” I snatched my hat back. “You think I really give a shit? Why do you feel the need to do this? There isn’t anyone else whose hat you can take?”
“But there’s no one else to take it from.” He looked around and saw a boy right next to him with a hat. He reached for it then pulled away. The bell rang so he just walked.
“Exactly, Chris.”
Last night I got a message from my good friend Brian. I met Brian just last year and in no time we were like brothers. He was one of the first people I came out to and may have been the only person who me coming out to him didn’t change anything between us. With everyone else there was some sort of step back. But toward the end of the year he announced he had to move back to Ohio to live with his dad. It was probably the biggest downer I ever got. But now he said that he might be going to stay at his mother’s back here in Massachusetts for a weekend. Him, me, and a small group of other friends planned on getting together if he returns.
If this gets a ‘no’ from Brian’s dad I’ll probably break something.
Live.
My dad woke me up this morning asking me some sort of question. I didn’t understand him so I asked again. He repeated himself. “What?” I asked again. He just said ‘never mind’ and left my room. So I went back to sleep. Or did I? Was I dreaming? Because if I was it’s pretty pathetic for me to dream about waking up.
I finally got my wish today in exploratory. I finally got to use an iMac. So pretty, and nice programs, and a messed up track ball. My finger was too big and it wouldn’t scroll down but when I wanted to scroll up it shot me to the top of the page. And I didn’t realize I could right click until I set the right side of the mouse to right click. Honestly, why is it an option to turn that off?
The teacher was a major B I T C H. I had my hat on for a photo and since I didn’t take it off right away when I came back into the room she felt it was necessary to yell. So I hissed and made a claw with my hand behind her back.
As an introduction, we’re making calendars. I decided to do mine after the Swedish film “Let the Right One In”. Or “Let Me In” to some since they never heard there was a better option. But I’ve ranted too many times about it to do it again. Some of the pictures I included were a bit bloody, but not really enough to disgust. Just in case I’m gonna wait until I’m already finished for her to be able to sneak a peek at it. It’ll be too late for me to redo it so she can either let it go or not let me print it at all in which I can just send it home.
At the end of the day, this boy Chris, who I schooled with last year, came up to me. Now, I find Chris to be one of the most annoying people I have ever met. It wouldn’t normally bother me but he knows it annoys me yet he continues to test me.
“Hey, Christian that sign says you have to be 36 inches away from that power box.”
“Good to know, Chris.”
“You need to move away you’re too close.”
“You’re a bit too close to me.”
“Yeah but I’m not too close to the power box.” At this point I just turned away but nope. He just had to push the envelope. He snatched my hat off my head. “No hats in school until the bell rings.” (It was no more than 30 seconds until the bell rings.) Know one thing about me:
You do NOT fuck with me and my hat.
“Chris.” I snatched my hat back. “You think I really give a shit? Why do you feel the need to do this? There isn’t anyone else whose hat you can take?”
“But there’s no one else to take it from.” He looked around and saw a boy right next to him with a hat. He reached for it then pulled away. The bell rang so he just walked.
“Exactly, Chris.”
Last night I got a message from my good friend Brian. I met Brian just last year and in no time we were like brothers. He was one of the first people I came out to and may have been the only person who me coming out to him didn’t change anything between us. With everyone else there was some sort of step back. But toward the end of the year he announced he had to move back to Ohio to live with his dad. It was probably the biggest downer I ever got. But now he said that he might be going to stay at his mother’s back here in Massachusetts for a weekend. Him, me, and a small group of other friends planned on getting together if he returns.
If this gets a ‘no’ from Brian’s dad I’ll probably break something.
Live.
I Never Actually Took the Time for a Self-Analysis
In all my opinion on the world today involving ignorance, corruption, FAUX news (that’s how you spell it right?) and trying to help people or put them in their place, I never took the time to think about my own life, and what I think of myself. I know where I am in my position on everything but myself. And today I finally relaxed and relived my life.
…
School was a lazy copy/paste (with a bit of editing) of yesterday. Tomorrow will be different since we’re shifting in exploratory. I’m going to graphic design, which might be what I want to major in now that I think about it. But don’t tell daddy, it’ll crush his dreams of me doing everything better than he did even though that’s not hard to do. Oooh… a shot right in the self-esteem.
Sorry, dad even though you won’t read this. Anyway, after school I actually took the time to sit down with my mom to talk about things, even though that goes against everything a teenager is supposed to do. It started with her telling me how pissed of my dad was about how I can put Dr. Pepper in the fridge and not Diet Caffeine Free Pepsi or “water” as I call it. She then told me how was trying to shop for clothes for me, but couldn’t find anything I would like. She explained that she had help from the store drones and her friend Kim.
“Well he wears black…”
That’s basically all there was to it. And apparently black was out of the question. During the time Kim asked, “Is Christian gay?” Apparently word got to her, not surprising, and she just wanted to confirm with her. As it turns out, just about all the boys in her family were gay. Which led to her offering to take me shopping with her. I don’t even like the idea of shopping in general, let alone with someone I hardly know. And well… It obviously has something to do with my sexuality so there will obviously be talk about it. But maybe that would be good. I politely declined.
My mom also mentioned me being an atheist, to which she mentioned that Kim’s church was supportive of homosexuality. Struck a nerve there. But I explained that that was only one reason. And I said that it was the fact that there is no proof that he exists, and there are at least theories that make more sense than a conveniently invisible being that created everything “just because”. And I assured to her that I at least try to be respectful of other people’s beliefs since I’m not right either. I live off of facts, I told her. And since neither side has reasonable enough facts, I stand undecided.
“Wow.” All she said.
We also talked of what I was like as a child. How I wasn’t gifted in academics like my brother, or silly like one f my sisters, but I was rebellious. I hated being handled by someone else as a baby, only my mother. I could find amusement with even the littlest possibilities. And I was impatient for anything. Plus I was good at hiding from people. It was because I was always able to predict and avoid the obvious, and I still do these days. Which is was makes me more of a thought-provoking person. Thinking outside the box to the point where I took the receipt and returned it.
After our chat I went upstairs and went online where I got a message form a guy I talk to back and forth. He asked we if there was someone who affected me majorly in my life. Since I can’t rewrite it better, here is my reply:
Now maybe I did sound angry and maybe a bit over the brim. Maybe I was just frustrated since I never thought about how he shaped me until now. And yes of course a lot of it is my fault, but if I blamed everything on myself I’d be depressed. So now I just have little tolerance for others and again, am very blunt. I’m the kind of guy who can tell a kid there’s no Santa Claus and not even feel any sort of emotion or guilt on breaking their spirits.
So as a conclusion of today’s evaluation, I am one fucked up kid. But I’m also right (mostly). Goodnight everyone!
Live. Not a typo.
…
School was a lazy copy/paste (with a bit of editing) of yesterday. Tomorrow will be different since we’re shifting in exploratory. I’m going to graphic design, which might be what I want to major in now that I think about it. But don’t tell daddy, it’ll crush his dreams of me doing everything better than he did even though that’s not hard to do. Oooh… a shot right in the self-esteem.
Sorry, dad even though you won’t read this. Anyway, after school I actually took the time to sit down with my mom to talk about things, even though that goes against everything a teenager is supposed to do. It started with her telling me how pissed of my dad was about how I can put Dr. Pepper in the fridge and not Diet Caffeine Free Pepsi or “water” as I call it. She then told me how was trying to shop for clothes for me, but couldn’t find anything I would like. She explained that she had help from the store drones and her friend Kim.
“Well he wears black…”
That’s basically all there was to it. And apparently black was out of the question. During the time Kim asked, “Is Christian gay?” Apparently word got to her, not surprising, and she just wanted to confirm with her. As it turns out, just about all the boys in her family were gay. Which led to her offering to take me shopping with her. I don’t even like the idea of shopping in general, let alone with someone I hardly know. And well… It obviously has something to do with my sexuality so there will obviously be talk about it. But maybe that would be good. I politely declined.
My mom also mentioned me being an atheist, to which she mentioned that Kim’s church was supportive of homosexuality. Struck a nerve there. But I explained that that was only one reason. And I said that it was the fact that there is no proof that he exists, and there are at least theories that make more sense than a conveniently invisible being that created everything “just because”. And I assured to her that I at least try to be respectful of other people’s beliefs since I’m not right either. I live off of facts, I told her. And since neither side has reasonable enough facts, I stand undecided.
“Wow.” All she said.
We also talked of what I was like as a child. How I wasn’t gifted in academics like my brother, or silly like one f my sisters, but I was rebellious. I hated being handled by someone else as a baby, only my mother. I could find amusement with even the littlest possibilities. And I was impatient for anything. Plus I was good at hiding from people. It was because I was always able to predict and avoid the obvious, and I still do these days. Which is was makes me more of a thought-provoking person. Thinking outside the box to the point where I took the receipt and returned it.
After our chat I went upstairs and went online where I got a message form a guy I talk to back and forth. He asked we if there was someone who affected me majorly in my life. Since I can’t rewrite it better, here is my reply:
A person who affected me. I thought hard and realized that it was my best friend I had since before I was in school. He was, and is not a very good kid. His life is based around humor and since he’s a white, catholic, straight male there’s nothing in the world that could offend him. He’s a troublemaker. And he was a leader. We were a group of 6 boys, and he made most of the decisions. And I followed him like the rest of them. But he was no role model. He was just the prettier face. He made me a homophobic, ignorant, ass. I would have always been gay had it not been for him and our friends.
It seems pretty mean to insult him like this but since even after puberty and maturing he hasn’t changed, I don’t feel as bad. He’s the same old kid he’s always been. If I hadn’t just stuck it to him and stopped hanging on to him like some 4 year old and his mommy, I wouldn’t be who I am today. Because after I left him, I was able to admit to myself I was gay, lose my childish attitude, and finally have a shred of independence.
The thing is he was the only boy I was friends with. I never bothered to befriend anyone else because I thought I only needed him. Once I was myself, I was a wreck. I didn’t talk to anyone and became a loner, I cried way too much and I still do, and I am very blunt and heartless with others. Fucked me up real good.
After I admitted I was gay I thought back at him. It crossed my mind that maybe I loved him. But no. I had never thought of him in that way. All he was was a failed chapter in my life. We don’t talk anymore. In fact it seems we try not to notice each others existence. But I’m fine with that. I don’t need him and I regret not being myself from the beginning.
Now maybe I did sound angry and maybe a bit over the brim. Maybe I was just frustrated since I never thought about how he shaped me until now. And yes of course a lot of it is my fault, but if I blamed everything on myself I’d be depressed. So now I just have little tolerance for others and again, am very blunt. I’m the kind of guy who can tell a kid there’s no Santa Claus and not even feel any sort of emotion or guilt on breaking their spirits.
So as a conclusion of today’s evaluation, I am one fucked up kid. But I’m also right (mostly). Goodnight everyone!
Live. Not a typo.
Technology and Toby of All Boys?
I’ve gotta stop putting my feet on my desk, this is the fourth time I practically snapped my keyboard in half…
Anyway since I didn’t post about my weekend, I’ll use a little blurb. I actually almost collapsed at work on Saturday since I had forgotten to eat that day and had to stand up for 5 hours straight. And the next day at work I was clawed by an old lady who didn’t want me to tip her pie when I slipped it in a bag (and I wasn’t she was just being an anal bitch, pardon my French…) And I had to go to a party afterward but since work wiped me out I took a nap on my little cousins bed. When he found me he threw a boot at me and told me to get out. So I chatted with my dad, brother, and cousin about business and technology. To be honest that was the most intelligent conversation I ever had.
We came to the conclusion that anything is really possible to make the world better, it’s just that nobody wants to take the time and money to change things. Hydrogen cars have been made, but we can’t just have everyone get rid of their gas powered cars, or shut down every gas station in America. And that it’s also possible for cars to be made to last forever, but it won’t happen because problems make money. No problems, no money. So the world sucks. and until it goes bankrupt nothing will change.
————————————–
Now about today…
If I made a guess, I’d say most of the people who read this blog are teenagers/young adults. And it seems that since advanced technology has been invented like computers, cell phones, an iPod that is way too small to enjoy, we are able to master these things in a very short time. I would guess most of your parents aren’t very fond of technology besides the television, and couldn’t type 50 words per minute at our age.
But us. We grew up with all this technology, so being able to work with modern technology is embedded in our minds like being able to talk, walk, and insult people. I don’t know why I posted it, but I just found it interesting when we discussed it in class today.
My school doesn’t teach in the standard way most other public schools do. We have a week of academic learning, and then a week to study a technology major. It’s one of the most genius things I ever saw actually. Because normally you go into college knowing what you want to get a degree in. This basically helps you figure out what you want to major in. It basically covers all aspects of employment from working with computers, to cosmetics, to carpentry, to graphic design, to medicine, to utilities.
Right now I’m working in Computer Technology, which is what I mostly wanted to do here. It was mostly an introduction to the exploratory program. We received a sleek black binder containing information on every shop class the school has to offer. We take 2 days to learn about every shop in the school and at the beginning of November, we will decide on which major we want to study. The only thing is our major counts for half of our college credits, so if we don’t do well we may flunk the year.
After the introduction the instructor let the students use the computers freely until noon. I spent the whole time on Reddit like I always do when I get the chance. I had this boy leaning over my shoulder constantly to watch what I do. But I didn’t mind, he got a kick out of some of the things I found.
At lunch Rita told me that there was a boy from our English class who asked her if she knew of anyone who was gay… Totally an average thing to ask someone you hardly know. But since the subject of gay teen boys is one of my main focuses in life I asked who it was. One of her friends spoke up and said,
“It was that Toby kid with the messy hair.”
White Toby? Didn’t seem like the kind of question he, or anyone, would ask. Not to mention I don’t recall them ever talking to each other, and I’m in almost all of Rita’s classes. But it’s always the unexpected one’s. Must be pretty hard for him since he’s fairly socially awkward and people don’t talk to him much. If he is actually gay, I’ll be sure to help him if he needs it. It’s why I was put on this planet (among other reasons.)
Alice. No, it’s no girl, but a Sims-like computer program. It’s actually a free program you can download online. But I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s too basic to be used for anything major. We were supposed to use it to get a basic knowledge of animation programming. We had to use preset characters and an environment we make ourselves out of pre-made scenery to make a simple animation. Something totally useless like someone walking through a door or waving hello.
I actually spent the whole 2 hours just positioning a man in a magicians suit and formal hat on top of a gravestone. I decided to really milk the detail and position every joint perfectly. Right down to the fingertips. I fiddled around with the color scheme, camera angle, and background to where it looked really cool and dramatic. I was proud. Maybe graphic design is my thing. since I only had a few minutes left so I used a simple effect to make his head disappear.
I am completely wiped from the heat and I have a searing headache to top it off… It’s a tumor at this point. I’m gonna go and pop a couple migraine pills. That ought to numb my brain for the night.
Love ;)
Anyway since I didn’t post about my weekend, I’ll use a little blurb. I actually almost collapsed at work on Saturday since I had forgotten to eat that day and had to stand up for 5 hours straight. And the next day at work I was clawed by an old lady who didn’t want me to tip her pie when I slipped it in a bag (and I wasn’t she was just being an anal bitch, pardon my French…) And I had to go to a party afterward but since work wiped me out I took a nap on my little cousins bed. When he found me he threw a boot at me and told me to get out. So I chatted with my dad, brother, and cousin about business and technology. To be honest that was the most intelligent conversation I ever had.
We came to the conclusion that anything is really possible to make the world better, it’s just that nobody wants to take the time and money to change things. Hydrogen cars have been made, but we can’t just have everyone get rid of their gas powered cars, or shut down every gas station in America. And that it’s also possible for cars to be made to last forever, but it won’t happen because problems make money. No problems, no money. So the world sucks. and until it goes bankrupt nothing will change.
————————————–
Now about today…
If I made a guess, I’d say most of the people who read this blog are teenagers/young adults. And it seems that since advanced technology has been invented like computers, cell phones, an iPod that is way too small to enjoy, we are able to master these things in a very short time. I would guess most of your parents aren’t very fond of technology besides the television, and couldn’t type 50 words per minute at our age.
But us. We grew up with all this technology, so being able to work with modern technology is embedded in our minds like being able to talk, walk, and insult people. I don’t know why I posted it, but I just found it interesting when we discussed it in class today.
My school doesn’t teach in the standard way most other public schools do. We have a week of academic learning, and then a week to study a technology major. It’s one of the most genius things I ever saw actually. Because normally you go into college knowing what you want to get a degree in. This basically helps you figure out what you want to major in. It basically covers all aspects of employment from working with computers, to cosmetics, to carpentry, to graphic design, to medicine, to utilities.
Right now I’m working in Computer Technology, which is what I mostly wanted to do here. It was mostly an introduction to the exploratory program. We received a sleek black binder containing information on every shop class the school has to offer. We take 2 days to learn about every shop in the school and at the beginning of November, we will decide on which major we want to study. The only thing is our major counts for half of our college credits, so if we don’t do well we may flunk the year.
After the introduction the instructor let the students use the computers freely until noon. I spent the whole time on Reddit like I always do when I get the chance. I had this boy leaning over my shoulder constantly to watch what I do. But I didn’t mind, he got a kick out of some of the things I found.
At lunch Rita told me that there was a boy from our English class who asked her if she knew of anyone who was gay… Totally an average thing to ask someone you hardly know. But since the subject of gay teen boys is one of my main focuses in life I asked who it was. One of her friends spoke up and said,
“It was that Toby kid with the messy hair.”
White Toby? Didn’t seem like the kind of question he, or anyone, would ask. Not to mention I don’t recall them ever talking to each other, and I’m in almost all of Rita’s classes. But it’s always the unexpected one’s. Must be pretty hard for him since he’s fairly socially awkward and people don’t talk to him much. If he is actually gay, I’ll be sure to help him if he needs it. It’s why I was put on this planet (among other reasons.)
Alice. No, it’s no girl, but a Sims-like computer program. It’s actually a free program you can download online. But I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s too basic to be used for anything major. We were supposed to use it to get a basic knowledge of animation programming. We had to use preset characters and an environment we make ourselves out of pre-made scenery to make a simple animation. Something totally useless like someone walking through a door or waving hello.
I actually spent the whole 2 hours just positioning a man in a magicians suit and formal hat on top of a gravestone. I decided to really milk the detail and position every joint perfectly. Right down to the fingertips. I fiddled around with the color scheme, camera angle, and background to where it looked really cool and dramatic. I was proud. Maybe graphic design is my thing. since I only had a few minutes left so I used a simple effect to make his head disappear.
I am completely wiped from the heat and I have a searing headache to top it off… It’s a tumor at this point. I’m gonna go and pop a couple migraine pills. That ought to numb my brain for the night.
Love ;)
Luke
Today was the first day of school officially. Yesterday was really just an orientation day to get us settled into the new school. Today we got a whole bag of goodies. The school was trying to start a new system to keep students organized by giving them a large binder that had sections for every one of their classes. It also included a ruler, pens, and a flash drive. Kind of teed me off though that they would splurge for flash drive but not fix the worn out rooms, replace projectors, fix the plumbing, and a list of other more important things. Any file that can be put on a flash drive can also be sent through email. Oh no. Instead they figure they can get thumb drives if they just cancel all late buses. It may have saved them $500,000 but it also means the kids that don’t have another ride can’t stay after school for extra help since there will be no bus waiting for them when they’re done. Grades will drop, and the school will get less money from the government. So the big picture is really not as big as they think.
In art class, I felt pretty good about this year. Our teacher was probably the first one to ever realize that art should mean something to the creator. All the teachers I had prior to this one just told us what to do and we did it. But I realized I never cared for any of it because it didn’t relate to me at all. She then told us to answer the following question by Thursday:
“What is art?”
… We started pitching ideas around the room. But there were flaws in each and every one of them. Some very obvious, and some thoughtful, but didn’t really seem right. I kept writing and erasing over and over until I realized, I’m not answering this. Because I can’t answer it. No one can.
Again at lunch I had to find my pink lemonade before I could be happy :P. then I sat with Rita, Sneha, Solomon, and Griffin. I never knew how cute Solomon was without his glasses on ^_^. And apparently at the end of the day I was called down to the office. I didn’t know why. When I saw my guidance counselor, she said my missing papers and my agenda book were found and taken there by a good citizen. I would’ve liked to ask for the student’s name so I could thank him properly, but she was busy and I had to rush back to Music Lab.
The bus home is just awful. Not only is it jam packed, but the people are terrifying. Shouting, giving mean looks (to me as well! Eeek!) and making plenty of racial slurs. Just my luck there were no more seats and the driver sat me next to a kid (as if I could call him that) nearly twice my size. OMG! He was tall, built like a bulldozer, had a buzz cut of bright orange hair, and a face with a scary expression that hardly changed. He clearly wanted his own seat. When I sat down he grunted (roared) and moved over. His friends around him all “oooo”‘ed and called out “Freshman!” So I plugged in my headphones, and opened my phone to go on the internet. I didn’t look up once.
When I got home my mom wanted me to help her get some bikes into the car. Due to a fairly recent surgery of hers, she can’t lift anything too heavy. So I tagged along. When heading out the door, I noticed our neighbor form up the street, Luke, walking back to his house with his friend Reed. Luke’s a friend of mine and my sisters. It’s just that I think he’s incredibly cute. And when we got home, my sister wanted to go play with Luke’s sister. But my mom had to go back to work. So me in all my kindness :3 offered to watch her.
But I wasn’t watching her exactly. We spent a few hours talking, riding bikes and skateboards around the street. I went for a bit of a crazy stunt as well. One of the neighbors had two large steps on their front walk which we were able to ride down with a bit of a bump. But I was crazy enough to take it a step further. Before I went down I stood on the seat of my bike. But it backfired. My foot slipped but I was able to put it on the body of my bike. But I was already going down. On the second step my feet slipped and I landed hard on my seat. I yelled out in pain and groaned.
But it’s not what you think. Lucky for me the fall just missed the family jewels. Let’s just say it lead to me taching them what a “taint” was. Errr it was awfully uncomfortable.
Then our neighbor Scott offered to let me, Luke, and Reed swim in his pool for a bit until it got dark. I almost didn’t go but then Luke said, “Come on Christian take a swim with us.” Whatever you say walking wet dream…
“Okay, sure.”
Now I never use the word “perfect” to describe anything but when I saw Luke with no shirt all wet in the pool, I couldn’t think of a different word at the time. I guess I couldn’t help but get “excited” watching him so I stood in the pool with a bit of a crouch. Lol even in a pool…
When it got dark Luke asked if I would be out after I got dressed and I said “sure” and went home to clothe. When I returned Luke told me Reed had to go home and he was sleeping over his house, but I tagged along. reed warned me that his grandma was a very… odd person. He told me I best not let her see me when she answered the door or else she’d freak out. But where’s the humor in that?
When we reached Reed’s house he got a key to get in the back and said grandma was sleeping but he woke her up so I best leave. He started walking toward the back door not realizing I was still following. Luke noticed but he was holding in laugh’s. When Reed opened the door he noticed me. He shooed me away but then the opportunity came. I heard a voice, obviously his grandmother coming toward the door.
“Christian go!” He screamed in a whisper. But right before I turned around I leaned in through the doorway and shouted:
“I love you grandma!”
I legged it out of there before she could open the door. I didn’t see her reaction to my statement but it must have been pretty good :). While walking home I felt a bit colder. I was alone and it was pitch black. The streetlights were dim but you could just barely see around you. In my peripheral vision I noticed a man. Without turning my head I looked toward him. He was looking at me, not moving. Very shady looking. I walked a bit faster, occasionally turning my head just in case. I slowed when I couldn’t see him anymore.
I was dead tired when I got back to the house. There was Chinese food waiting for me. Yay! I got in the shower to clean myself of chlorine and bike grease. Hardly able to hold myself up due to my sore legs. And after this sentence I will pass out in my bed.
Love.
In art class, I felt pretty good about this year. Our teacher was probably the first one to ever realize that art should mean something to the creator. All the teachers I had prior to this one just told us what to do and we did it. But I realized I never cared for any of it because it didn’t relate to me at all. She then told us to answer the following question by Thursday:
“What is art?”
… We started pitching ideas around the room. But there were flaws in each and every one of them. Some very obvious, and some thoughtful, but didn’t really seem right. I kept writing and erasing over and over until I realized, I’m not answering this. Because I can’t answer it. No one can.
Again at lunch I had to find my pink lemonade before I could be happy :P. then I sat with Rita, Sneha, Solomon, and Griffin. I never knew how cute Solomon was without his glasses on ^_^. And apparently at the end of the day I was called down to the office. I didn’t know why. When I saw my guidance counselor, she said my missing papers and my agenda book were found and taken there by a good citizen. I would’ve liked to ask for the student’s name so I could thank him properly, but she was busy and I had to rush back to Music Lab.
The bus home is just awful. Not only is it jam packed, but the people are terrifying. Shouting, giving mean looks (to me as well! Eeek!) and making plenty of racial slurs. Just my luck there were no more seats and the driver sat me next to a kid (as if I could call him that) nearly twice my size. OMG! He was tall, built like a bulldozer, had a buzz cut of bright orange hair, and a face with a scary expression that hardly changed. He clearly wanted his own seat. When I sat down he grunted (roared) and moved over. His friends around him all “oooo”‘ed and called out “Freshman!” So I plugged in my headphones, and opened my phone to go on the internet. I didn’t look up once.
When I got home my mom wanted me to help her get some bikes into the car. Due to a fairly recent surgery of hers, she can’t lift anything too heavy. So I tagged along. When heading out the door, I noticed our neighbor form up the street, Luke, walking back to his house with his friend Reed. Luke’s a friend of mine and my sisters. It’s just that I think he’s incredibly cute. And when we got home, my sister wanted to go play with Luke’s sister. But my mom had to go back to work. So me in all my kindness :3 offered to watch her.
But I wasn’t watching her exactly. We spent a few hours talking, riding bikes and skateboards around the street. I went for a bit of a crazy stunt as well. One of the neighbors had two large steps on their front walk which we were able to ride down with a bit of a bump. But I was crazy enough to take it a step further. Before I went down I stood on the seat of my bike. But it backfired. My foot slipped but I was able to put it on the body of my bike. But I was already going down. On the second step my feet slipped and I landed hard on my seat. I yelled out in pain and groaned.
But it’s not what you think. Lucky for me the fall just missed the family jewels. Let’s just say it lead to me taching them what a “taint” was. Errr it was awfully uncomfortable.
Then our neighbor Scott offered to let me, Luke, and Reed swim in his pool for a bit until it got dark. I almost didn’t go but then Luke said, “Come on Christian take a swim with us.” Whatever you say walking wet dream…
“Okay, sure.”
Now I never use the word “perfect” to describe anything but when I saw Luke with no shirt all wet in the pool, I couldn’t think of a different word at the time. I guess I couldn’t help but get “excited” watching him so I stood in the pool with a bit of a crouch. Lol even in a pool…
When it got dark Luke asked if I would be out after I got dressed and I said “sure” and went home to clothe. When I returned Luke told me Reed had to go home and he was sleeping over his house, but I tagged along. reed warned me that his grandma was a very… odd person. He told me I best not let her see me when she answered the door or else she’d freak out. But where’s the humor in that?
When we reached Reed’s house he got a key to get in the back and said grandma was sleeping but he woke her up so I best leave. He started walking toward the back door not realizing I was still following. Luke noticed but he was holding in laugh’s. When Reed opened the door he noticed me. He shooed me away but then the opportunity came. I heard a voice, obviously his grandmother coming toward the door.
“Christian go!” He screamed in a whisper. But right before I turned around I leaned in through the doorway and shouted:
“I love you grandma!”
I legged it out of there before she could open the door. I didn’t see her reaction to my statement but it must have been pretty good :). While walking home I felt a bit colder. I was alone and it was pitch black. The streetlights were dim but you could just barely see around you. In my peripheral vision I noticed a man. Without turning my head I looked toward him. He was looking at me, not moving. Very shady looking. I walked a bit faster, occasionally turning my head just in case. I slowed when I couldn’t see him anymore.
I was dead tired when I got back to the house. There was Chinese food waiting for me. Yay! I got in the shower to clean myself of chlorine and bike grease. Hardly able to hold myself up due to my sore legs. And after this sentence I will pass out in my bed.
Love.
My Brother
Update post for today. Took me a while to write it out but here it is.
Me and mom were sitting at the dinner table cutting up steak and eating while we talked. And my mom had brought up the phone bill. I figured it may have been something to do with me, but no it was my brother, Kavanaugh.
“So I looked at our phone bill,” mom began. “Kav had 31 dollars worth of international calls to Canada.”
“You know who it was?” I responded.
“It was one of his friends from the Xbox. And I told him, ‘they’re not actual friends’. I think he should be calling real friends from school and going out for pizza. Just something instead of spending all his time on that game.”
I know Kavanaugh a bit more than my mom does. He’s not a very social person in real life, but I know he has a few solid friends from school. They just spend their days on the game as well. That’s his way of keeping in touch with them while they enjoy a game as well. But she is right that he should be getting out more. He’s on a bit of a downward spiral in his schoolwork. He hasn’t been taking good care of himself as well. Whenever I hear that he’s going out with a friend or two or when he gets a phone call, I feel happy to know there are people other than his family that love him. Because I have to be honest, you can’t be happy when your family is the only thing that cares about you.
“Do you think he’s gay?”
My heart stopped at that.
My brother is gay. He told me himself (before I came out to anyone) and it has never been mentioned since. But that’s just it. My brother can’t come out to the family. My mom I think could handle it because she handled me pretty well. But my dad…
When he found out I was gay it tore him apart inside. Whenever my dad talked to me about my sexuality, I could sense his emotions through the way he spoke to me. He loved me so much, yet the fact that I was gay shattered his feelings toward me. And I can tell that he is trying desperately to piece himself back together. The thing is acceptance is the only adhesive that would repair his emotions. He still hopes and prays to whatever God he may believe is out there that this is just a phase with me. But it won’t happen. And once he realizes that he will have to start all over.
When a sand castle gets knocked down, the poor child who made it will rebuild it. But if the destroyer comes back for a second time to stomp again mid-reconstruction, the kid won’t try again. My coming out already broke his sand castle, and my dad is currently rebuilding it. He won’t be done any time soon. My brother can’t kick it down. But I don’t think my brother realizes the castle was crushed once already. And if he were to do so. My dad wouldn’t rebuild the sand castle.
I could really only imagine what he would do next:
-Swim in the ocean, and avoid the people who ruined his castle.
-Leave the beach.
-Make sure the people who ruined the castle don’t get to cause any more trouble.
I’m going to cry. These seem like very extreme actions. I could never imagine my father taking any of them. But you never know what happens when you break someone, especially one as hardened as him.
“No, mom.”
Me and mom were sitting at the dinner table cutting up steak and eating while we talked. And my mom had brought up the phone bill. I figured it may have been something to do with me, but no it was my brother, Kavanaugh.
“So I looked at our phone bill,” mom began. “Kav had 31 dollars worth of international calls to Canada.”
“You know who it was?” I responded.
“It was one of his friends from the Xbox. And I told him, ‘they’re not actual friends’. I think he should be calling real friends from school and going out for pizza. Just something instead of spending all his time on that game.”
I know Kavanaugh a bit more than my mom does. He’s not a very social person in real life, but I know he has a few solid friends from school. They just spend their days on the game as well. That’s his way of keeping in touch with them while they enjoy a game as well. But she is right that he should be getting out more. He’s on a bit of a downward spiral in his schoolwork. He hasn’t been taking good care of himself as well. Whenever I hear that he’s going out with a friend or two or when he gets a phone call, I feel happy to know there are people other than his family that love him. Because I have to be honest, you can’t be happy when your family is the only thing that cares about you.
“Do you think he’s gay?”
My heart stopped at that.
My brother is gay. He told me himself (before I came out to anyone) and it has never been mentioned since. But that’s just it. My brother can’t come out to the family. My mom I think could handle it because she handled me pretty well. But my dad…
When he found out I was gay it tore him apart inside. Whenever my dad talked to me about my sexuality, I could sense his emotions through the way he spoke to me. He loved me so much, yet the fact that I was gay shattered his feelings toward me. And I can tell that he is trying desperately to piece himself back together. The thing is acceptance is the only adhesive that would repair his emotions. He still hopes and prays to whatever God he may believe is out there that this is just a phase with me. But it won’t happen. And once he realizes that he will have to start all over.
When a sand castle gets knocked down, the poor child who made it will rebuild it. But if the destroyer comes back for a second time to stomp again mid-reconstruction, the kid won’t try again. My coming out already broke his sand castle, and my dad is currently rebuilding it. He won’t be done any time soon. My brother can’t kick it down. But I don’t think my brother realizes the castle was crushed once already. And if he were to do so. My dad wouldn’t rebuild the sand castle.
I could really only imagine what he would do next:
-Swim in the ocean, and avoid the people who ruined his castle.
-Leave the beach.
-Make sure the people who ruined the castle don’t get to cause any more trouble.
I’m going to cry. These seem like very extreme actions. I could never imagine my father taking any of them. But you never know what happens when you break someone, especially one as hardened as him.
“No, mom.”
Freshmeat
Welcome to my new high school! Where the kids are either insane, socially isolated, freaks, asleep, or just odd. Of course there is a handful of exceptions here and there.
I entered the building and looked for a few people I knew. As I had guessed, at one single table was Andrew, Ricky, Doug, and Frankie. Also my two friends Solomon and Griffin were there. Once I settled with them I did a recon of the room. I recognized some faces scattered about the room. I had also stopped to stare at some 15 or so strangers. Oh yes cute boys everywhere. I was in a candy shop. I was able to determine which ones were approachable or not which I would save in my head for future reference ;)
And administrator at the school got right down to business and had us head to the library to speak with our guidance counselor. She sounded a lot like Rachael Ray. And we went over the whole huge “zero tolerance” bully law. It’s not like any of that is going to stop anything. They do about as much help to kids as Disney Channel. They won’t help, they’ll just say that they’ll be there and give you worthless advice on how to stop it. I’d quote some of the techniques they had in my Agenda Book but I lost it.
When traveling to all my classes, there seemed to be some of the same people in every class I had, including Rita, one of my best friends from Junior High. And I kept seeing this one boy, Hanry. Never saw him until today but he was incredibly cute and sounded so sweet when he talked. A gentle boy, average height and body with neat, curly brown hair. I’d like to know him but I would probably seem weird.
Nobody just goes up to random people and say hello. Yet there’s this one kid, William (who likes to be called Toby). We call him “White Toby” since we already have a Toby. And due to obvious differences, it was decided he was now White Toby. When we took a tour of the school a few months back he had sat down at our table and just said “hey”. According to social rules that shit just doesn’t happen. He’s okay, though. I just think he tries too hard to be social and it just looks bad. The only thing that really annoys me is that whenever the name “Led Zeppelin” comes up, being a shirt or conversation, he’s on it like a puma.
But I hate bitching about people, too much to say. When lunch came around, I sat down with Rita and a couple of her friends. I was glad to hear that I got prettier over the summer :). Periodically I was glancing over at a boy a few tables away. He had his hair spiked as if to impress someone. I had gotten up though since I had a craving for Strawberry Lemonade and circled the cafeteria looking for some. When I got back with my drink Solomon had joined the table. We discussed our day while we fed ourselves, making jokes, talking about boys, and enjoying the rest of our day. Then Rita and her friends all had to go to the bathroom at the same time. Hooray for stereotypes! When they were gone Solomon looked at me and asked:
“Wait, so are you gay?”
“Yes.”
“So you like guys.”
“Nope.”
“Wait, what?”
“Nothing. Yes I do.”
“Oh. You have a boyfriend?”
“Nope.”
“Do you want a boyfriend?”
Let freeze the conversation right there. I won’t jump to any conclusions here but that does seem like a very odd question to ask unless the person is going somewhere with it. I decided not to question him.
“Maybe.”
Didn’t mean I was going to make him wonder just in case ^_^. There was a silence between us for about 5 seconds. He was about to speak again but then Griffin dropped in on our table followed by Rita and friends returning to the table. I was eager to hear what he had to say but I figure if it was important it would come back sometime soon.
When I got home my ATM card arrived in the mail. I had gotten one since I was going to be putting half of my weekly pay check into my bank account. We figured it would be good to have one if I ever needed to withdraw money on a moment’s notice.
When my dad got home he had an announcement for me and my brother. Since school was starting up again he took away my Xbox so I wouldn’t be distracted. He still thinks that the games were the problem for my bad grades. Thing is, I don’t know why they were slipping. Even when I didn’t even touch my games, nothing changed. But if I get A’s and B’s on my first term report card dad will give them back.
Right now I’m on Concerta for my ADD. If it was my ADD that caused the problems, these medications will fix it. I haven’t gotten a chance to see if they work yet since I never got any work to do to see if it helps me concentrate more. We’ll just have to find out.
Love.
I entered the building and looked for a few people I knew. As I had guessed, at one single table was Andrew, Ricky, Doug, and Frankie. Also my two friends Solomon and Griffin were there. Once I settled with them I did a recon of the room. I recognized some faces scattered about the room. I had also stopped to stare at some 15 or so strangers. Oh yes cute boys everywhere. I was in a candy shop. I was able to determine which ones were approachable or not which I would save in my head for future reference ;)
And administrator at the school got right down to business and had us head to the library to speak with our guidance counselor. She sounded a lot like Rachael Ray. And we went over the whole huge “zero tolerance” bully law. It’s not like any of that is going to stop anything. They do about as much help to kids as Disney Channel. They won’t help, they’ll just say that they’ll be there and give you worthless advice on how to stop it. I’d quote some of the techniques they had in my Agenda Book but I lost it.
When traveling to all my classes, there seemed to be some of the same people in every class I had, including Rita, one of my best friends from Junior High. And I kept seeing this one boy, Hanry. Never saw him until today but he was incredibly cute and sounded so sweet when he talked. A gentle boy, average height and body with neat, curly brown hair. I’d like to know him but I would probably seem weird.
Nobody just goes up to random people and say hello. Yet there’s this one kid, William (who likes to be called Toby). We call him “White Toby” since we already have a Toby. And due to obvious differences, it was decided he was now White Toby. When we took a tour of the school a few months back he had sat down at our table and just said “hey”. According to social rules that shit just doesn’t happen. He’s okay, though. I just think he tries too hard to be social and it just looks bad. The only thing that really annoys me is that whenever the name “Led Zeppelin” comes up, being a shirt or conversation, he’s on it like a puma.
But I hate bitching about people, too much to say. When lunch came around, I sat down with Rita and a couple of her friends. I was glad to hear that I got prettier over the summer :). Periodically I was glancing over at a boy a few tables away. He had his hair spiked as if to impress someone. I had gotten up though since I had a craving for Strawberry Lemonade and circled the cafeteria looking for some. When I got back with my drink Solomon had joined the table. We discussed our day while we fed ourselves, making jokes, talking about boys, and enjoying the rest of our day. Then Rita and her friends all had to go to the bathroom at the same time. Hooray for stereotypes! When they were gone Solomon looked at me and asked:
“Wait, so are you gay?”
“Yes.”
“So you like guys.”
“Nope.”
“Wait, what?”
“Nothing. Yes I do.”
“Oh. You have a boyfriend?”
“Nope.”
“Do you want a boyfriend?”
Let freeze the conversation right there. I won’t jump to any conclusions here but that does seem like a very odd question to ask unless the person is going somewhere with it. I decided not to question him.
“Maybe.”
Didn’t mean I was going to make him wonder just in case ^_^. There was a silence between us for about 5 seconds. He was about to speak again but then Griffin dropped in on our table followed by Rita and friends returning to the table. I was eager to hear what he had to say but I figure if it was important it would come back sometime soon.
When I got home my ATM card arrived in the mail. I had gotten one since I was going to be putting half of my weekly pay check into my bank account. We figured it would be good to have one if I ever needed to withdraw money on a moment’s notice.
When my dad got home he had an announcement for me and my brother. Since school was starting up again he took away my Xbox so I wouldn’t be distracted. He still thinks that the games were the problem for my bad grades. Thing is, I don’t know why they were slipping. Even when I didn’t even touch my games, nothing changed. But if I get A’s and B’s on my first term report card dad will give them back.
Right now I’m on Concerta for my ADD. If it was my ADD that caused the problems, these medications will fix it. I haven’t gotten a chance to see if they work yet since I never got any work to do to see if it helps me concentrate more. We’ll just have to find out.
Love.
And I'm Back
It’s been a few months now but I'm here, once again. Some of you may know me but then again a lot of you don’t. So let’s just start over.
I’m Christian. I’m 14 years old. I am just starting high school in a week. I just got a job at a produce market recently as well. Big twist? I’m gay. well who isn’t these days? I am out to my parents and friends and a couple siblings but my siblings won’t talk about it. Which is fine since it’s kind of awkward to talk to them, or any family really. My mom is actually a different story. She talks to me all the time about it. She just wants to understand me more since I never actually talked to her at all until I dropped the big bomb on her. Though I think she really has the wrong idea with me. She keeps telling herself that it’s just a phase. Which is fine but she did make one remark that I’m not a very “gay” person. I believe she meant I wasn’t a flamboyant homosexual. That always sets me off when people think gay people have to be very feminine. But here’s the thing. People always tell me that I am the most masculine gay person they ever saw. Which I do understand. I don’t seem like a gentle person at first. But I’m not tough, in fact I cry way too often, and I have never fought anyone. So yeah my mind doesn’t really match my appearance.
Now I say I’m here again. That’s because I did have a recent blog of my middle school days that lasted for a short while. But then my mom in all her nosiness decided to put spyware on my computer, which allowed her to find my blog. I was okay with her reading it in fact I thought it was pretty nice at first that now she could know me better through my blog. But then she wanted to talk about what I was writing. She told me that my writing was inappropriate and I was rude. So I had to scrap the blog to prevent further ridicule from her.
If she finds this blog she had better keep it to herself or I’m probably going to have a word with her. Somehow I’ve realized that I can stand up to her if I believe she is making unfair decisions and demands. But that doesn’t mean I’m rebellious or anything. I can just get up in someone’s face if I need to.
I won’t post again until next week. This is just a message stating my return. If there are any questions you would like to ask me leave a comment and I will reply as quickly as I can.
Love.
I’m Christian. I’m 14 years old. I am just starting high school in a week. I just got a job at a produce market recently as well. Big twist? I’m gay. well who isn’t these days? I am out to my parents and friends and a couple siblings but my siblings won’t talk about it. Which is fine since it’s kind of awkward to talk to them, or any family really. My mom is actually a different story. She talks to me all the time about it. She just wants to understand me more since I never actually talked to her at all until I dropped the big bomb on her. Though I think she really has the wrong idea with me. She keeps telling herself that it’s just a phase. Which is fine but she did make one remark that I’m not a very “gay” person. I believe she meant I wasn’t a flamboyant homosexual. That always sets me off when people think gay people have to be very feminine. But here’s the thing. People always tell me that I am the most masculine gay person they ever saw. Which I do understand. I don’t seem like a gentle person at first. But I’m not tough, in fact I cry way too often, and I have never fought anyone. So yeah my mind doesn’t really match my appearance.
Now I say I’m here again. That’s because I did have a recent blog of my middle school days that lasted for a short while. But then my mom in all her nosiness decided to put spyware on my computer, which allowed her to find my blog. I was okay with her reading it in fact I thought it was pretty nice at first that now she could know me better through my blog. But then she wanted to talk about what I was writing. She told me that my writing was inappropriate and I was rude. So I had to scrap the blog to prevent further ridicule from her.
If she finds this blog she had better keep it to herself or I’m probably going to have a word with her. Somehow I’ve realized that I can stand up to her if I believe she is making unfair decisions and demands. But that doesn’t mean I’m rebellious or anything. I can just get up in someone’s face if I need to.
I won’t post again until next week. This is just a message stating my return. If there are any questions you would like to ask me leave a comment and I will reply as quickly as I can.
Love.
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